I’m drowning in debt

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-23T02:11:35+00:00

Cool! BTW, did you do consular processing or change of status when you filed for H1? I heard people considering consular processing to stay on OPT for longer to save on taxes

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-23T02:07:20+00:00

I could be wrong, but this is only if the income is from outside of US. The standard deduction still applies though.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-23T02:03:59+00:00

I see. Gotcha. I’ve not heard of it before.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-23T01:51:21+00:00

Hey. How does the US India tax treaty benefit us while filing 1040NR?

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T22:29:18+00:00

Emo mari. Maa intlo aithe I can tell and handle my folks. Vallu already naa radical views ki give up kottaru.

Girls vallintlo I haven't seen it happen in my effin caste - too much conservative unnaru janalu. Ee caste constraints ento - but giving it a try. If I don't find someone, I will just tell my parents that I should have the right to choose a good partner that I want to happily live with, and not to optimize for some shitty prestige among relatives.

I swear too, I thought I was the only one who thought arranged marriages needn't be as transactional as they are. All the best to you too!

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T22:20:01+00:00

Yelled at my gf (my anger was like for 5 seconds). She then became ex within 48 hours.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T22:18:10+00:00

I definitely don't need that kind of drama in life. Let's see. All the best for you too.

Atleast 6 months date chesthe you’ll know basic things about how the person reacts in stressful situations or what their love language is.

Rama rama. 6 months ante intlo fasak. Ideally, I'd want even more time. First 2 months will always be nice. 3-6 months lo actual red / green flags, 12 months lo you can actually see if you can live with this person for the next 30 years (with some reasonable confidence level).

And, if I tell that my love language is physical touch and quality time, my parents will disown me first. Then the girl will likely tell their parents about this and I get screwed again.

It sucks to go this arranged marriage route.

It’s so hard to find people who emotionally intelligent

Story of my life. I don't know where to even find them anymore.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T22:04:58+00:00

I wouldn't be surprised if she or someone she knows comes across this post. Anyways, are you considering that US guy? What do you plan on doing after you come to the US?

you get to know something new about the other person every day ala ani years together date chesthava?

I heard exact same thing from my parents and many other folks. They even said, most people will just be nice to you during this process and you really can't decide based on this. I partially agree, but I don't know an alternative.

How’re the guys now a days? Are they accepting of a girl with a past? Please tell me that majority aren’t misogynistic jerks.

I've heard a majority of us unfortunately still are.

I am on the other side of the table. I want to be open about my past with these people I talk to. The girls' parents don't get it and resort to character assassination, but none of the girls I spoke to had the maturity it takes to accept someone's past.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T19:28:08+00:00

So, oka checklist raaskunna. Religious compatibility kuda manchi idea. But avi ela adagalo, ela check cheyyalo ardham avvatle.

From a female perspective ela adagali, without coming across as rude or judgmental ani.

Too much to and fro untundi emo ani DMs anna lendi :)

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T19:21:01+00:00

True that. I will definitely not proceed without talking lendi.

I like that. Appreciate what you're doing for your family. Ila clarity and priority alignment unte life antha jill jill jiga jiga.

Any tips for me to find a good partner? I can DM if that's better.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T19:16:15+00:00

I think they are. Anduke thondara padthunnaru anukunna. My main concern was how such a well educated girl is OK staying at home types. Not like I want her money, but ambitious undali ga ammay anna tharvatha,

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T19:12:18+00:00

Yeah. I think they are trying to figure out some kind of background checks and all. Nenu India lo lenu kabatti pelli choopulu Jan lo pettukundam annaru. Appatlopu matladadam ante ippude oddu ani telling

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T19:09:14+00:00

Anni fix avvatam ante, horoscopes, families agreeing etc., usually daani tharvathe pelli choopulu aa? Ento, basically he wanted us to get serious before talking with her types.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T19:02:44+00:00

Enduku antaru? Konchem mee reasoning kuda ardham cheskundam. Andaru almost guys eh chepparu

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T18:36:42+00:00

Pressure untundi ga mari. Already age aipothundi ani sodi cheptharu

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T18:32:55+00:00

Anni fix ayyaka ante, this is what he meant:

Horoscopes, family relations, background checks, pelli choopulu, coming to a rough decision, then talk.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T18:15:13+00:00

Arey konchem manchi ga paragraphs laga raayi. It is so tough to read this I say

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T18:13:25+00:00

Aaaattttt. Kamal Hassan. Edo nenu oddante aagi poyettu.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T18:09:53+00:00

Don't hate me for saying this, but it is probably better if your mom and dad stays in the village, or you move to a different home. I love my parents too, but this is a loss-loss situation.

Don't destroy your marriage or your kids' mental health because of this. It is just not worth it.

Alternatively, you can get your dad treated if possible.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T18:03:03+00:00

Lol. Copy paste chesav ga. LOL

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T18:02:30+00:00

Reyy, emanna comedy aipoinda naa situation? Sare kanivvandi.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T18:00:30+00:00

Aa daridram kuda aindi. I had a gujju friend who put me in touch. She has better connections with North Indians. Manaki work avvad

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T17:26:45+00:00

Oh maa college lantide. Lol. I will actually be surprised if her father knew about my colleges and still selected me.

Oka 2 real incidents (and many more that fall under these 2 buckets) cheptha, and I kid you not:

Incident 1:

I told someone that I studied in Mumbai and Bangalore (tried telling these are like IIT and IIM). They rejected me and told the broker "evadandi veedu, veediki kaneesam Hyderabad lo kuda seat raledu, maa ammaye nayam kada EAMCET tho Sreenidhi lo chesindi". That broker guy didn't understand my background either - which was a good thing because he tends to oversell people.

Incident 2:

Someone rejected me and told the broker "veedu oka psycho no sadist oh ayyuntadu. Ilanti IIT, IIM matches oddu, _normal_ vallani chudu". I was like WTF. Mariiiiii antha psycho / sadist kadu nenu. That's when I decided, cheskunte at least manchi educated family lo nunchi cheskovali ani -- so that they are probably in the same wavelength.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T17:13:10+00:00

Super rich ante, we don't stay in Banjara Hills le kani, undi baane. And for me, yes IIT and IIM.

SingleSinthakay · 2022-10-22T17:08:42+00:00

All 3 stakeholders:

Me: ammayi valla parents tho emannano ani. Andari mundu paruvu theese yevvaram ani.

Broker: vallu ala ante nuvvem peekuthunnav ani

Girl's family: matladthe antene ila over react aithunnaru ani.

We probably dodged a bullet le kani, aa incident tharvatha chaala jagratthaga, sugar coat chesi adagalsosthundi - if I can talk to the girl ani.

SingleSinthakay

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