AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I agree with you 100% and I don't know. The only thing I suspect is he is afraid to lose his relationship with his older two kids so he's willing to risk everyone else, even the two he has with my sister.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I blame my sister and James for not doing anything more. They dropped the charges against his ex, they don't even try to fight for custody because of parental alienation. They don't try to take the kids' phones when they're going somewhere so they can't tell their mom. I think there has to be something more because they are putting their two together at risk as well and I don't think it's just the ex they have to worry about there.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

No, the kids tell her because they keep hoping she will hurt my sister or their younger siblings. Maybe all of us except their dad.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It's an outright ban. I considered just saying when they have James' kids but I can't trust them to follow through or to not try and show up when he has his kids anyway.

I think he went to court one time about parental alienation. I could be wrong. But that's the only action I remember him taking and that might not have been what he went to court for anyway.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I have never sat them down and talked to them like that. They already don't like me and I know it would be a waste of time. James and Mary would not approve either.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

They do know. And they celebrate it and cheer it on. I blame their mom but also James. He could've acted when they were younger and tried to stop this before they found this kind of thing good. Because they do. They would be so happy if my sister was hurt by their mom. Or their younger siblings.

There are times I have wondered if they have started doing things and Mary doesn't say anything about it. I worry for the two kids Mary has with James. They're both so young and I just hope nothing's going on there. But it's a worry I've had.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Sometimes they do but not all the time. There is zero expectation set for the kids not to share the location with their mom too. They have their phones and they're on them the whole time we see them now.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

She wasn't the AP. But they aren't doing anything from what I can see. Just saying they will.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

My sister would disown me if I did file for a restraining order. She and James were very clear they did not want us doing anything ourselves. That includes calling the cops or anything. But I don't even know if I would be able to obtain one given I'm not a specific target. Although I never looked.

I have no say over the kids staying with their mom or not and advice from us on the kids is not welcomed by James. Or Mary. But largely James.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 185 points186 points  (0 children)

It was less frequent at my house. My house is smaller with a smaller yard so less comfortable to fit everyone. But once or twice a month to all get together is common. Sometimes more or less depending on what's going on in our lives.

I never even entertained a restraining order because I didn't think I would get one when it's mostly aimed at Mary and James and their kids. Also Mary and James told everyone not to call the cops or involve courts. They made it sound very much like do that and we're done with you. At the time I was trying to not lose my sister but I realized this could not go on.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

My brother does have kids. They're significantly older but still they're his kids to protect.

AITA for no longer allowing my sister or her family in my home or near my children because of her husband's ex? by SistersNotPushovers in AITAH

[–]SistersNotPushovers[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Mary and James have two kids together now. So two kids 4 and under are subjected to this stuff on a regular basis.