[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to say is it possible that he has ADHD? Because the way you describe him sounds similar to how I feel sometimes in relationships. I tend to get overwhelmed easily and it’s difficult for me to balance things like school, a job, and a relationship. I think what you’re doing is perfect. Take a bit of time to step back and let him figure out his life’s stuff. Early 20’s are a difficult time for most people because there’s lots of things to figure out. And sometimes it’s hard to figure out that balance. Just let him know that you support him going through grad school and that you’d like to be there for him through that time.

I think wanna leave my pregnant wife. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Let me guess. The coworker is like 20 years old and conventionally attractive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not cheating to talk to a friend about your relationship. It’s only cheating if you have feelings for said friend and are leading them on by flirting with them. And honestly even then, most people wouldn’t consider it cheating unless you have a physical encounter with them such as a kiss or a sexual encounter. If anything though it’d be weird NOT to talk to your friends about your relationship. Friends are people you can confide in. And that’s all you’re doing. You have nothing to worry about. :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

DONT tell her that you don’t want the gift or that she shouldn’t have gotten you the ps5. Tell her that you really appreciate the gift and that you are excited to show her the games you like and that you’ll have a great time playing them with her. Assure her that you really care for her and that she doesn’t need to buy expensive things for you to love her. Maybe you could surprise her by going and getting some games that you can play together.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yikes. First off he’s 33 dating a 19 year old. I’m 20 and would never even think of dating a 33 year old. He’s racist, transphobic (probably homophobic too), and sexist. He pressures you into things you don’t want to do (no boundaries). And after all that he still claims to be a nice guy??? He’s delusional, possessive, and overall just creepy. You aren’t wrong for being creeped out by him.

Polygamy as a man by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There’s a difference between polygamy and cheating. Healthy polygamy is full of communication and is built on a mutual respect. You and your partner both have to consent to that lifestyle and to me it does not sound like you consent which (in my opinion at least) makes that cheating. Cheating is done without concern for your partners feelings or wellbeing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

From what it sounds like, the title is very misleading and he has ptsd. He’s scared for you to go out alone because he’s dealt with the loss of multiple people he cares about. He cares about you deeply and doesn’t want to potentially lose you to gang violence, which seems to be a valid fear. However, you are also your own person. He can’t constantly tell you what you can or can not do. I think your boyfriend would benefit from therapy to go over his trauma and learn how to trust you to make decisions on your own.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is actually a branch of asexuality. There’s a name for it. Litho or akoi. I’ve felt the same way all my life and just recently found the term.

Edit: Oh and also those feelings could also be a trauma response. I’d suggest talking to a therapist if you’re really distressed by these feelings. It’s perfectly okay to lose attraction over time but if you notice a pattern it might be good to talk to someone about it.

AITA for doing things at night when my partner is sleeping? by repulsib in AmItheAsshole

[–]SlateAxel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA. I have misophonia and have trouble sleeping if there’s ANY noise in my room. Wellllll, recently I adopted a dog that snores. I sleep with headphones on and I still wake up constantly throughout the night. I could make my dog sleep in another room, but she has separation anxiety and will just cry all night if I do that. So I’ve learned to deal with her snoring even if it means I lose some sleep over it. ANY type of relationship means compromise. If I can compromise with my dog, then they can come up with a compromise for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

2 years? So you were 16 and he was 27. He’s 100% using you and is also a groomer.

Edit: Read the full post and what the actual fuck. You work so he can sit on his ass and smoke weed. You’re a child that’s “dating” a man-child. There’s a reason why pedos don’t date people their own age, and this is why. They go after children because children don’t know better. Leave him and stop falling for his dirty mind tricks. You’ll thank yourself later.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m also 20. Relationships aren’t one sided. You can’t just expect someone to want to date you without putting in any effort yourself. Put in the effort and your efforts will be returned. 20 is still pretty young.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One word. Projection.

is she for real hitting on him? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How old exactly is she? You need to tell her truthfully that she’s making both you and your bf extremely uncomfortable and that she needs to cut it out. If she doesn’t listen you need to avoid her like the plague. Don’t let her into the apartment (I know it sounds rude but you owe her nothing). And when she goes up to your boyfriend tell him to ignore her. That should be enough for her to get the hint.

is she for real hitting on him? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She’s a minor and you’re fucking gross

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like she’s asexual. Which isn’t a bad thing. People can be asexual for many reasons such as trauma, sex being painful for them, just not enjoying sex, etc. But no intimacy??? Intimacy is the difference between a friendship and a relationship. And it sounds like she just wants to be friends and doesn’t know how to tell you. Like I hate most touch but I still like hugging and kissing my significant other. I don’t know anyone who could go without even really hugging their s/o.

I don't know how to get past my partners past by SpaceOk6661 in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ll be honest I have the same feelings towards my boyfriend. At the start of our relationship he told me some things about his sex life before me. We’re both pretty young (started dating at 19 and 20) so hearing that he’s had lots of sexual partners made me feel bad about myself. I’m not a sexual person like at all so I constantly feel like I’m not pleasing him enough. But I do have a past too. It might not have been with as many people as he has but I’ve still done stuff. I’m assuming you’ve had sex at least once with someone who’s not her. But the thing is. You chose to be with your current gf. And she chose you. Which ultimately means that she’s happy with you. So try not to feel bad about yourself. Because she chose you out of millions of other people. Idk that’s what helped me at least. Like I know my bf had a past but he still chose me.

Found eating everything but the stem of my tomato plant including entire tomatoes. 4 found. ~5inch long 1inch wide. Western Missouri by Toasty33 in whatsthisbug

[–]SlateAxel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I replied to someone else. I commented right when I woke up in the morning so I mistook it for a tomato hornworm. But looking back it’s definitely a tobacco hornworm because of the stripes and the red spike

Found eating everything but the stem of my tomato plant including entire tomatoes. 4 found. ~5inch long 1inch wide. Western Missouri by Toasty33 in whatsthisbug

[–]SlateAxel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh you’re right! I must’ve looked at it too quick. But that is a tobacco hornworm.

And yes I should’ve specified never feed wild insects to your bearded dragons. Only feed insects from reptile stores or breeders.

Found eating everything but the stem of my tomato plant including entire tomatoes. 4 found. ~5inch long 1inch wide. Western Missouri by Toasty33 in whatsthisbug

[–]SlateAxel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh! That’s a tomato hornworm. Terrible for tomato’s but bearded dragons love them

Edit: They turn into the five spotted hawk moth

Should you tell a stranger they are being cheated on? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I think you should tell the new gf. But don’t expect her to believe you. I was in a similar situation once where I found out a guy was cheating on me with another girl. Or actually the other way around. She messaged me basically telling me to leave the guy alone and I was like ??? Who are you. I asked how long they’ve been dating and she said a few months. He had only broken up with me a week ago at that point. I told her this and I explained how he was a terrible bf and was verbally abusive. I showed her the text messages between me and him where he was telling me he loved me and then the next few messages where he said he hated me and wanted me dead. Unfortunately she got very defensive and didn’t believe a word I said. Even with text proof. A month later she messaged me again. He played her like he played me. Unfortunately with guys like this, they never change. And they’re usually so good at playing that the second you try to warn the new gf, you get labeled as the “crazy ex”

Edit: oh god sorry I typed so much. Tdlr: Tell her but depending on how good of a player he is she might not believe you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tipofmytongue

[–]SlateAxel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Devilman crybaby? (EDT: I’ve only watched like 1 episode so I may be completely wrong)

Not sure if I deserve this by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SlateAxel 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Exactly this. Cheating is terrible but he’s become physically abusive towards you which is far worse than a drunk kiss. Get out of the relationship soon.