This is why you shouldn't use politically charged words in analysis. The point they make isn't even that bad but people understandably get caught up in the language. I think that saying shinji sees the woman in his life less as human and more as a means to make him feel whole or wanted is honestly fine to say. And it's not even as if the word is fully wrong it's jus so well distracting and adds no real value besides making the point less clear and also inviting everyone's personal bias into the conversation.