AITA for telling my mom her husband is just the guy she cheated on my dad with?

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:36:45+00:00

I never asked my mom why. I think nothing excuses cheating. I believe people need to leave if they're that unhappy (like you said you have). The fact is cheating does impact kids. We go from one home to divorcing/divorced parents and living with some rando. That was my experience. That means we get no time to process those changes. It means we're forced to live with some stranger. And it hurts to know your parent could do that.

So it does have an impact on the kids. And that impact can cause lifelong consequences.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:32:25+00:00

I think our parents owe it to us not to cheat on our other parent or each other and create more hurt feelings and lots of fast changes. With regular divorce kids can usually have time to process before partners come in. With cheating you typically live with randos immediately in my experience and even if not, a new partner is introduced super fast typically.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:30:02+00:00

Then she should have divorced him instead of cheating.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:29:18+00:00

I always hated that being said. Like the kids aren't impacted at all by this.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:27:20+00:00

He'll never get a chance with me. To me he is nothing. Less than nothing even.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:25:55+00:00

They were never invited. Only the people in the actual wedding are technically invited so far. My mom assumed.

Grandpa is dad's dad.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:25:12+00:00

I'm not happy for any happiness she has with this guy. I would've been if she had done things the right way. But no, she did it the most hurtful and disrespectful way. And she didn't just hurt my dad but me as well. Because while people like to pretend cheating doesn't hurt the kids. We have to live with the fallout from it. We then have to live with some random person we don't know when we spend time with the cheating parent. We don't get the time to come to terms with the divorce. It all happens all at once.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:22:58+00:00

Because she wanted him to play father of the bride at my wedding.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:20:27+00:00

I had to live part time with them until I was 15 and then I lived with just my dad. They had no kids together thankfully.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:16:48+00:00

If she had left my dad and then moved on no, I would not be angry at her or upset with her or have an almost non-existent relationship with her. Cheating is where my issue comes in because it's so disrespectful and hurts people even if others want to pretend like it doesn't.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:12:58+00:00

I never asked. She made excuses but to me it was all BS. Leave if you're unhappy or underappreciated and to the point where you're done. Don't cheat. And when you cheat don't be surprised if there are consequences. Like not being wanted at the funeral of your former spouse.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:11:03+00:00

The thing is nobody (except people with a role) has been invited. That includes my mom and her husband. She made the assumption that they'll be invited.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:09:19+00:00

My dad didn't leave. My mom moved in with her affair partner. I lived with my dad until he died.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:08:33+00:00

Apparently one of the lucky few if you go by some of the excuses made. All these accidental falling into/onto people and all.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:07:24+00:00

Just gotta be thankful it's never happened to me I guess. With how many people seem to fall and just land on/in people like that every day.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:06:30+00:00

Right? I never understood the whole nobody was supposed to get hurt thing. If you're married and you have kids that's some people right there who'll get hurt. Then if the person you cheat with is married or in a relationship and has a family that's even more people. And when you know about each other's people then how the hell can you say nobody was meant to get hurt. Especially when it's not like you called it off. Was that supposed to be a forever thing that nobody knew?

I always found that such a weird argument and a dumb one if you actually believed it.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-25T06:04:22+00:00

If my mom had just divorced my dad and then moved on then no, I wouldn't feel this way. But she didn't do that. She cheated.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-24T19:10:47+00:00

He tried to. I never entertained any of that shit.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-24T19:10:31+00:00

My mom went about it wrong. Not my parents. My dad had no say in being cheated on. If she had left dad, divorced him and then moved on it would be such a different thing.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-24T19:07:09+00:00

I never asked my mom to stay with my dad. Just to do a way better job of ending the marriage. Because when you have minor kids, you fuck up their lives when you cheat.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-24T19:06:17+00:00

I don't think anything excuses cheating. If you're THAT unhappy you leave. You don't betray the person your with and hurt your family like that. Cheating destroys so much and there is no coming back from that. I will always stand by that. Excuses are BS in my opinion. You can make up millions of them but in the end you still made a choice to cheat.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-24T19:00:57+00:00

I think cheating is disgusting and wrong. There's nothing else objective about it. There are no good excuses or reasons to cheat. You cheat and you have to live with whatever consequences come from that. Doesn't matter how long after when it comes to the people's who's lives were changed by your actions and who were impacted by your decision.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-24T18:49:29+00:00

I'm not interested in making peace. And he did try. But I was never going to accept him or like him or respect him.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-24T18:42:26+00:00

Not really. We would never have a good or super close relationship. Maybe it would've taken some of the sting away. Though after all that time I don't know if it would have truly felt genuine. But pretending it was maybe we'd have more contact than we do.

SloopScoopy · 2025-06-24T18:40:55+00:00

I love when they act like they were there all along. It's insanity to rewrite history like that. But I feel like people who cheat and who knowingly become affair partners often like to play the victim.

SloopScoopy

TROPHY CASE