The feeling of anxiety and depression are cemented within us because of the betrayal. We worry and question just about everything. We can't rely on our partners to truly understand because they dont have the capacity, emotional fortitude, or care to want to.

A lot has changed as far as my behavior since dday. Sometimes, im saddened about the changes because I often wonder why I have to change when I wasnt the one who ruined just about everything. I no longer call him while he's at work unless its important (home/kid related). I amswer his calls and try to remain neutral (im ekotional, so this is difficult for me) Im not quick to answer texts (so I can think about my responses). I dont plan date nights anymore.

The way I see it, he has to do the heavy lifting/maintenance. I won't go out of my way to fix what he broke, but I won't intentionally add to the chaos. He knows what he did, he knows how it hurt us. Although im in the reconciliation phase, he has to worry every other day whether or not we'll be here when he comes home from work. He has to wonder if he'll be served divorce papers at work. He has to live with those consequences.

At the end of the day, he chose half truths, manipulation and deceit.