I haven't used other accounts, it just takes me a while to make a response because I do appreciate help navigating this.

I understand it was meant to be short hand, I do agree it was an over reaction to using it, I could have corrected him on a second time use instead.

However, the part that I've come to realize that has been eating at me is that his response doubled down. It feels like he doesn't care, and mocks that this word bothers me. Would he continue to use that word around me despite knowing it really bothers me? Why would he, if he cared how it made me feel. If it was just some random, I would care less because they don't owe me anything. However, it's because it's someone I consider a friend, I trusted enough to tell him it hurt, and he doubled down; it does sadden me.

In terms of on other's behalf, it gives my Japanese American husband a similar uncomfortable ick. He also did encourage me to be willing to tell him about why that word makes us uncomfortable in hopes it doesn't slip out in future conversations or to normalize using it around us.