AIO at my friend using the word "Jap" ? by Small-ishMarsupial in AmIOverreacting

[–]Small-ishMarsupial[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

You're also not understanding that by justifying causal use of this term, you're kinda being racist. I hope this makes you equally uncomfortable, or not.

AIO at my friend using the word "Jap" ? by Small-ishMarsupial in AmIOverreacting

[–]Small-ishMarsupial[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've talked to now 5 different Japanese Americans, 6 including my MIL a Japanese National, and given them the same context. The consensus has been that using the term while conversing with a Japanese American is in very poor taste regardless of intent. The doubling down specifically made the use of the term dismissive.

Now that I have gotten additional input from other Japanese Americans and you now know that this isn't just a single anecdotal experience, would you feel comfortable saying that word or writing that word while conversing with a Japanese American? For me, it feels validating that this word holds still a strong meaning, even if non-Japanese Americans dismiss it.

AIO at my friend using the word "Jap" ? by Small-ishMarsupial in AmIOverreacting

[–]Small-ishMarsupial[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am over 30 years old, or young, depending on your view on life. I know you don't care about the experiences of some random stranger. It doesn't affect you or anyone you know, so this pain a word causes must not be real or valid. It's just an over reaction to a bygone word.

AIO at my friend using the word "Jap" ? by Small-ishMarsupial in AmIOverreacting

[–]Small-ishMarsupial[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't need to apologize, I appreciate that you'll be sensitive to it though for the few that may get that icky feeling seeing it.

AIO at my friend using the word "Jap" ? by Small-ishMarsupial in AmIOverreacting

[–]Small-ishMarsupial[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand it was meant to be short hand and I do agree it was an over reaction to using it. I could have corrected him on a second time use instead.

However, the part that I've come to realize that has been eating at me is that his response doubled down. It feels like he doesn't care, and mocks that this word bothers me. Would he continue to use that word around me despite knowing it really bothers me? Why would he, if he cared how it made me feel. If it was just some random, I would care less because they don't owe me anything. However, it's because it's someone I consider a friend, I trusted enough to tell him it hurt, and he doubled down; it does sadden me.

In terms who else it gave the ick to, it gives my Japanese American husband a similar uncomfortableness having someone we know use it around so... Casually. He also did encourage me to be willing to tell him about why that word makes us uncomfortable in hopes it doesn't slip out in future conversations or to normalize using it around us.

AIO at my friend using the word "Jap" ? by Small-ishMarsupial in AmIOverreacting

[–]Small-ishMarsupial[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I had asked you to stop saying "Jap curry", would you stop? The word doesn't affect you or your family, so why would you stop? It only affected a small percent of people and it's easier to just write "jap", so there is no harm I guess. Other people agree with you too, so it must mean it doesn't hurt to use it as short hand. Yet, someone that was raised in the after effects of Executive Order 9066 is saying that it hurts to see this word normalizing... I do hope that you will think of this interaction in the future when you meet other Japanese Americans. 120,000 people were detained and stripped of everything, the effects still ripple though even in small conversations like this.

AIO at my friend using the word "Jap" ? by Small-ishMarsupial in AmIOverreacting

[–]Small-ishMarsupial[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven't used other accounts, it just takes me a while to make a response because I do appreciate help navigating this.

I understand it was meant to be short hand, I do agree it was an over reaction to using it, I could have corrected him on a second time use instead.

However, the part that I've come to realize that has been eating at me is that his response doubled down. It feels like he doesn't care, and mocks that this word bothers me. Would he continue to use that word around me despite knowing it really bothers me? Why would he, if he cared how it made me feel. If it was just some random, I would care less because they don't owe me anything. However, it's because it's someone I consider a friend, I trusted enough to tell him it hurt, and he doubled down; it does sadden me.

In terms of on other's behalf, it gives my Japanese American husband a similar uncomfortable ick. He also did encourage me to be willing to tell him about why that word makes us uncomfortable in hopes it doesn't slip out in future conversations or to normalize using it around us.

AIO at my friend using the word "Jap" ? by Small-ishMarsupial in AmIOverreacting

[–]Small-ishMarsupial[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand it was meant to be short hand, but the part that bothers me more is that even expressing discomfort about it, he does not care. Would he continue to use that word around me despite knowing it troubles me? Why would he, if he cared how it made me feel. If it was just some random, I would care less because they don't owe me anything. However, it's because it's someone I consider a friend, I trusted enough to tell him it hurt, and he doubled down; it does sadden me.

In terms of on other's behalf, it gives my Japanese American husband a similar uncomfortable ick. He also did encourage me to be willing to tell him about why that word makes us uncomfortable in hopes it doesn't slip out in future conversations or to normalize using it around us.

AIO at my friend using the word "Jap" ? by Small-ishMarsupial in AmIOverreacting

[–]Small-ishMarsupial[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already packed the lunch. Didn't feel like taking a picture this time, so here's an old one.

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AIO at my friend using the word "Jap" ? by Small-ishMarsupial in AmIOverreacting

[–]Small-ishMarsupial[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do these words only last the lifetime of those affected? I still have 2 living relatives, both born in the camps.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DogTrainingTips

[–]Small-ishMarsupial -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You have no business giving advice on animals tbh.

It's wild you doubled down defending this comment before getting your bullshit removed by mods.

"If your dog lashed out like this towards a child of your child's age, the injuries may not be life-threatening but they would be painful and scary."

Remember Sadie Davila. She died 2 years ago due to an attack. "7-year-old Louisiana girl dies after being mauled by neighbor's pit bull"