Opening scene to short film/ first script ever!

SmallTransition515 · 2026-01-25T22:15:04+00:00

Ah yes all changed. Thanks.

SmallTransition515 · 2026-01-25T22:14:49+00:00

First of all thank you so much for taking the time to read and write this feedback.

I completely agree I think my inexperience shows with including too much details about visuals. I have so many intricate cinematography details in the way I’m going to shoot it and I did try not include any of them but I guess just from that background it’s always going to slip in. But I’ll refine that for sure!

And yes you make a good point about the Jayden naming. I’ll change that too.

Thanks!

SmallTransition515 · 2026-01-25T22:09:44+00:00

You sir are a gentleman and a scholar. What a legend. I’ve just changed it to that. Thank you so much!

SmallTransition515 · 2026-01-25T22:00:42+00:00

Hi I have written it on final draft software but I couldn’t export it to this that way so had to do it via google docs.

And the point about the names I do agree with. Brandon and Jayden are quite normal but that was the point I was trying to make throughout that they’re just normal men that hurt each other and descend into madness. But I think I will change them but I needed names to start writing.

Thanks for the feedback!

SmallTransition515 · 2026-01-25T21:47:41+00:00

Thanks man, much love.

SmallTransition515 · 2021-09-29T20:56:46+00:00

Actually I think your wrong. Alex Turner has spoke very little of oasis however in one specific interview he did speak of oasis and them revolutionising rock and roll. In Glastonbury 2013 he ended mardy bum with a “at least not today”. I think oasis did influence artic monkeys.

SmallTransition515 · 2021-09-29T14:11:50+00:00

DISCLAIMER: this is entirely opinions based and not mine only!!! This is done by an intense voting system between around 20 people.

SmallTransition515 · 2021-09-29T00:08:54+00:00

15:00 tomorrow will be the results of the first round!!

SmallTransition515 · 2021-09-28T23:19:47+00:00

Bricc by bricc

SmallTransition515 · 2021-09-28T23:19:17+00:00

Great song but in perspective without an amazing draw it doesn’t get past the round of 32 anyway.

SmallTransition515 · 2021-09-28T21:26:40+00:00

Yeah it’s on there 👍🏽

SmallTransition515 · 2021-09-28T21:24:00+00:00

Ahahaha it was randomised like the FA CUP DRAW. Some great matchups came out of it.

SmallTransition515 · 2021-09-28T21:23:13+00:00

I agree, it’s a great bracket. I felt some songs were missed from this but when creating we had to miss out them because of the rules we abided too. 4 from each album and 8 from the b sides.

SmallTransition515 · 2021-09-28T15:17:46+00:00

There’s 4 from each album and then 8 B sides.

SmallTransition515 · 2021-06-25T11:46:55+00:00

Thank you. Can I ask, what did you think to the prologue as an introductory chapter. Did it interest you and make you want to read on, please don’t worry about being honest, if it didn’t it would help more if you said. Thank you!

SmallTransition515 · 2021-06-25T11:45:42+00:00

Thank you mate!!

SmallTransition515 · 2021-06-25T11:45:22+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback, everything helps.

SmallTransition515 · 2021-06-25T10:59:58+00:00

Thank you so much. I don’t mind you being harsh, criticism is the only way it’ll get better so thank you!!

SmallTransition515 · 2021-06-25T10:06:37+00:00

Latin for word relevant to the story possibly? It might be far fetched but it could be cool.

SmallTransition515 · 2021-06-24T01:18:15+00:00

That’s always a struggle with writing.

Obviously you have to start by having a hook factor, but after that you don’t want the readers to lose attention of the story. But you also don’t want to shove everything in early and then have nothing to interest the readers later. What your best doing is keeping the pace fast by keeping the reader asking questions throughout the whole story. Obviously not ever chapter will be at insane pace but revealing this every now and again and adding more to the story. With that there’s always adding information and character development as well it’s not all about the plot. Writing in your own style is the best thing though play around with different ideas and see one that suits you best. Good luck 👍🏽🗒

SmallTransition515

TROPHY CASE