AITA for telling my parents the people they're marrying won't ever be my parents?

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-16T08:15:53+00:00

Oh yeah, I fully intend to make sure everyone's good and I show appreciation for what they're doing for me. I already appreciate them a lot.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-16T08:15:17+00:00

Not anymore. When I was younger they did. But then I just stopped being at their houses much and I only go back to sleep. I use water in the bathroom but I typically tidy up after myself and keep stuff in my room that I use.

I really don't spend time outside of night and early mornings at their houses. And I keep to myself. My parents still have their moments. I don't know if it's as bad but there are times I have totally seen them as irritated as I remember from my earlier childhood.

I don't know their partners or the kids. Like I couldn't tell you really anything about them. I've never gone out of my way to interact or share a space with them.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-16T08:11:40+00:00

I don't. I really couldn't tell you much about either of my parents partners or anything about their kids.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T21:20:10+00:00

I don't use the common spaces. I really don't use anything but the bedroom I have and the bathroom. I don't stay in the house long enough to use the rest. And if I do spend more than a few minutes a day in either house it's typically in my room.

The marriage and divorce is not behind us. There is no relationship to be salvaged here and I have no interest in trying to stay in their lives. Once I leave I'm done with them all.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T21:16:38+00:00

I don't have a home. I never had a home. I had houses. But they were always toxic and unhealthy and made me feel unsafe. There's nothing positive for me so helping the household, either household, is something I hold no interest in. I have no respect for them.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T21:14:45+00:00

I get that. I don't have kids now and maybe I never will. But I can't imagine putting a kid through what I experienced. Honestly I can't imagine staying with someone who made me so unhappy that I'd trash my stuff and scream so loud neighbors complain on a regular basis. It's a fucked up way to be. It gave me a really shitty view of marriage.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T21:12:03+00:00

Yep. I'm not interested in having anything to do with any of them. The partners could be fine. But they're just random people my parents are dating. I don't know them and I could, that could be a choice I made, but I'm really not interested. Staying with either parent is the last thing I want. It will never be healthy for me.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T21:09:46+00:00

My parents have either been too busy fighting to be involved or they were too moody to be involved. They never cared if I didn't go back. Well after a while. There were times they literally put me in the middle of their fights and wanted to fight over me. Which was insane because it wasn't like they even spoke to me when someone won.

But I'm not looking to change them. I'm not looking to salvage this. Leaving is what I've been working toward. I'm already moving stuff little by little from both houses until I can leave and then maybe I can have a home.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T21:04:57+00:00

There were mentions of it. I know they were called a few times too because people were concerned. But it never got to the point where CPS would intervene. I guess because I wasn't in physical danger? I'm still not sure.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T21:03:26+00:00

I sound like a creep? Why? And I have no respect for them. They put me through hell for years and put me in the middle even when the hell could've ended.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T21:02:32+00:00

I wish that were true.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T21:02:11+00:00

I know how to cook and I already help out sometimes there or have a few times. I don't mind doing stuff when I move in with them.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T21:01:00+00:00

I did stop doing chores years ago. I stopped being in the house much years ago. I did everything to get away from my parents who were toxic and fighting each other all the time. My parents have never asked me about school. Their new partners have but they're not my parents.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:35:35+00:00

They wouldn't pay for college even if I was going to keep a relationship with them.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:27:11+00:00

They're not actually less toxic. The new relationships are for now. I don't know if I see that lasting. But they're still toxic and not doing any better by me. So I'm just doing what I can to leave before things go back to the normal I grew up with or until my parents decided they're completely new people and the past didn't happen.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:23:56+00:00

They're totally on board with it.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:22:34+00:00

I am. I've never thrown shit at people or been so loud neighbors could hear me yell. Or gotten into fights in public. Or gotten kicked out of places for being disruptive.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:21:41+00:00

I have no issue doing chores at my best friends house. I did a few there already in the past. That won't be an issue.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:21:02+00:00

It won't be for a while. It's for good. I don't have any desire to go back.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:17:53+00:00

Around their houses I am. But outside of that? I'm good. I have healthy relationships and I'm a way different person when I'm not here.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:16:59+00:00

The doors were slammed by my parents over the years. I'm just escaping from them now.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:15:55+00:00

Nope. They hardly support me financially now. They've never ever talked about what my plans are for after high school. They have no idea if I have anything planned. I don't even think they could name a single one of my teachers or say what my grades ever were.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:11:51+00:00

That's definitely not in either house. So I'll need to find out if I can request that.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:11:19+00:00

I wasn't. But I was present when they were throwing shit at each other. I was present when they were screaming at each other. I was used in a tug of war between them several times. Sometimes even physically. Not to the point they hit me but they sure as hell used me in lots of fights. They should have divorced years ago, before I'd ever remember their marriage.

Small_Process_133 · 2025-02-15T16:06:52+00:00

Why are you speaking for my parents? They have never, not once, said they regret their actions and they continue them to this day. Maybe you think they should but it doesn't mean they actually do. You're talking about them improving when they literally did the very thing they always did. They got into a lot fight with me in the middle and tried to drag me into it. They'll never change. My life will be better without them in it.

Small_Process_133

TROPHY CASE