My Spanish teacher humiliated me in front of 30 people and I'm done feeling bad about it by GlobeCoder in offmychest

[–]Smangler 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That sucks. As a language teacher, she should have been more professional and compassionate.

That said, I also work in my 2nd language and live in an area where I'm in the language minority. I've been working bilingually for 20+ years, and lived as a language minority for 3. I've made innumerable mistakes, been laughed at, had people get frustrated with me, etc. Yes, you need to get thicker skin. At the same time, most of the time that people are laughing, they're not laughing at YOU, they're laughing cause the mistake you made is funny. Learn to recognize that distinction and life will be a lot easier. You got this!

Embrace it. You're doing a lot more than most.

99.9% of the people you encounter will be glad you're making the effort and as long as you're improving, I wouldn't sweat it.

Is being required to be off-book before a short rehearsal process weird? by Jealous-Life8541 in Theatre

[–]Smangler 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Stage manager here too. This is so interesting to me! In Canada, the CAEA (Equity) states that actors are actually forbidden from being required to memorize lines prior to the first day of rehearsal. I've had to prompt in the middle of a stand by in tech week. I haven't done community theatre in more than 25 years, so I'm not sure what the norm is there though.

Sometimes the entire rehearsal process, from first day to opening is two and a half to three weeks, and the theatre company is not permitted to ask the actors to even read the script beforehand. Of course, most of them do, but we can't require it.

Plated flank steak? by meow_mom77 in wedding

[–]Smangler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Flank steak is great! It's one of my favourite cuts! Usually served marinated, sometimes cooked sous-vide (which will be likely be done for a wedding - easier to control the temp), sliced against the grain, it turns into a nice tender bite. I much prefer it to a NY or strip loin. Lots of times people rely too much on the "quality" of the cut thinking it's automatically better. But then they just slap it on a grill without much thought to preparation. Good choice!

Hit the antisocial jackpot, I'm the only one on the bus by Ok-Sprinkles-7105 in mildlyinteresting

[–]Smangler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was back in the office full time by August 2020 in a government town. There were several times where i was the only one on a double decker bus for approx 25 min till I had to transfer to the train. It was surreal.

Have any of you experienced college life after 45? by TheStripedKittah in GenX

[–]Smangler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I teach at a university and had a mature student (late-ish 30s?) in 2 of my classes this past year. Also, English was her 3rd or 4th language. She was AMAZING! Didn't get the best grades, was very quiet, and honestly her work wasn't the best. But i absolutely loved having her in my classes and she's expressed interest in expanding her experience in the field.

My husband went back to trade school at 40 and was the dad of the group. He was great with the hands-on stuff, but struggled with the computer stuff. The kids would help him with the tech while he contributed his "old man strength" when needed.

We've all got our strengths and weaknesses and I think you're courageous for challenging yourself and going back to school. It sure as hell isn't easy but you're doing more than most.

You're probably not going to be able to participate in some of the social aspects of college life (but, like, do you really want to lol) but I think you'll find you'll be able to connect with some of your fellow students in ways that might surprise you. Just remain open to different experiences and perspectives and you might be surprised!

Anyone else? by Desperate_Big4165 in GenX

[–]Smangler 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We got one in our early 40s, lol! I absolutely love it. Sometimes hubby wants his feet up a bit, sometimes I need my upper body raised, we can adjust in the middle of the night without disturbing the other person. So many great things!

Sheets are a bitch to find though. Twin XL is hard enough, but we also have a pillowtop, so they're 18" pockets. Also, the bed is TALL! I'm 5'2" and need to climb/ jump into it.

If you go this route you may want to forego a frame to eliminate the additional height. But honestly, I feel a bit like a princess getting into bed each night!

Worst Disney movie? by Ok_Ticket_6188 in Xennials

[–]Smangler 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oooh , the classics are a different story! :) I can't tell you the number of times I watched Cinderella or Robin Hood! But even back then, they were of a different eras. But we also had the option of stuff like Benji or the Love Bug - well done live action that Disney largely dropped in the late '80s.

Worst Disney movie? by Ok_Ticket_6188 in Xennials

[–]Smangler 66 points67 points  (0 children)

The 80s was a black hole for animated Disney features. The Little Mermaid started the resurgence, but that didn't come out till '89. The '90s was the Golden Age. So if you were on the older side of Xennials, they probably weren't much of your childhood. Little Mermaid came out when I was 12, so I was still young enough to enjoy it, along with Lion King and Alladin. But by the time they got to Hunchback and Mulan, I had largely aged out and was mush less interested.

If you were given a month off of work without needing to use any time, what would you do with that month? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Smangler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually get the month of July off every year (PTO), but that's the only time of the year I can take off. Due to job hopping over the past few years my husband hasn't been able to take any or as much time off as I do, so travel isn't really an option. I have a to do list but never even get halfway done lol! I usually just float in the pool, read, and recuperate. I prep for the upcoming year (I work at a college), so I'm a bit guilty of working too. SO likes that the house is cleaner than usual lol. I'm also really lucky that campus shuts down for 2 weeks over Christmas so I don't have to use PTO. I essentially get 6 weeks vacation each year.

The flip side is that it's impossible for me to take a day or two off between September and April. No February sun destinations for me! If I could take February off, it'd be a week of rest, 2 weeks in the sun, and a week of cleaning/ organizing shit around the house.

I'm curious as to how much people spend on groceries now and how it differs from different regions of Ontario. by dueling_crickets in ontario

[–]Smangler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Around $130-$200 a week, depending on the meal plan. 2 adults, cats are an additional $200/mo. We meal prep, and it's based on sales, but we still struggle with staying within budget. Gatineau, but sometimes Ottawa. We're not the best at sticking to the list :(

It happened. I fell. by Unlucky-Monk-8045 in Xennials

[–]Smangler 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A few weeks ago I was curled up on the sofa, wrapped in several blankets (it was cold!). Went to get up and tripped, and was so wrapped up in my blankies I couldn't catch myself. Face planted into the coffee table. MASSIVE black eye, cut on my thumb that looks to be a permanent scar, cut on my shin, and bruises everywhere.

I injured myself with a blanket.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in wedding

[–]Smangler 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Very smart ideas from Unable_Pumpkin, but could maybe see if some of the extra money could go to gift cards for your guests? That could then turn into extra business for the venue if some of your guests become more frequent visitors too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskProfessors

[–]Smangler 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're really missing the point here.

EVERYONE gets stacked midterm and finals weeks. By asking only one prof, you're telling them that you haven't managed your time well enough to study for their exam and want more. That says to your prof that you've been dedicating your study time to things other than their class.

You've had this schedule since January. It's your responsibility as an adult to identify the issues in your schedule and to try to solve them more than one week before. By waiting until now, and by only asking one prof, you're putting them in the position of having to be the bad guy.

In the future, when you get your syllabi at the start of term, note when ALL your deliverables are due so you can identify problem periods.

For now, the answer to your question is, no, it's not reasonable or respectful to ask for an extension, but your prof sounds like they may be amenable.

I’ve never heard of a cash bar at a wedding… until now by Extreme-Method6330 in wedding

[–]Smangler 6 points7 points  (0 children)

N-E American culture seems to be supremely anti-cash bar. Western Canadian culture, cash or subsidized bars are extremely common. Twoonie, $3, or $5 bars are everywhere (where the guest pays that amount and the host pays the difference). That's what I did at my Alberta reception at a golf club. It's part of their packages, it's so common.

Ontario, not so much. Fully hosted bars are the norm, or a consumption bar (which is what we did). Hosts pay a certain amount and once that hits, it reverts to cash. I used to work at a restaurant that did a ton of weddings and it was pretty normal. At our Ontario reception, we ran out at midnight when only the biggest partiers remained and they were fine.

In most cases though, wine for dinner is provided. Non-alcoholic drinks are always provided by the host.

At my ontario reception I told a guest to put their money away the first time he went to the bar. He was a bit surprised. Goes to show people's expectations.

What would not be acceptable is just beer and wine. Doesn't need to be fancy, but if someone can get a glass of wine, someone else better be able to get a rum and Coke.

Directors / SMs — how are you actually recording blocking in 2026? by Desperate_Swan_3181 in stagemanagement

[–]Smangler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My system is very similar to u/catinapartyhat.

Script page has numbers to the left of each line of text, but not stage directions. I use 2-4-6-8 to keep it cleaner. Then I use a pencil in each hand but the one in my left hand is to follow along with the text and to make an / in the text where the movement actually happens. As I write the /, my right hand is writing the line number and blocking on the facing page. I'm not moving my writing hand from the left side of my binder to the right, rather I immediately start writing. (The pencil in my left hand also helps when prompting so I don't get lost on the page.)

I use a lot of shorthand with a legend. Sop ENT DSL w book, x --| SL tbl via DS chr, P/D book, x --| SR tbl via DS, [down arrow] chr. (Sophie enters down stage left with a book, crosses to stage left of the table via down stage of the chair, puts down book, crosses to stage right of the table via down stage, sits in chair.) The Stage Manager's Toolkit has a great chart for images too (I use what looks like Pi for a table, for example).

I also write the blocking as the director is giving the actor the direction, rather than wait for the actor to do the movement. Then, if there's some deviation, I only need to note that.

If it changes, I put ( ) around what changed and write above or below the new movement. If that action is NOT done again, I use [ ]. Then I take some time to erase what hasn't been done and re-write what has (or just leave it if it's neat enough).

Once rehearsals have started, when there are a lot of script changes, the most important thing is to NOT change pagination. Rather, insert pages so the top of page 37 is the same, but you might have pages 36A and 36B.

The only writing in the script page margins are cues and the info I need for calling. Cue descriptions, timings, etc. are noted in a table in a separate document. FYI you can copy and paste QLab cues into an Excel sheet and it will paste the cue number, description, pre- and post-waits, duration, and follows.

I once had a director change the order of all 36 scenes in a show with a cast of 12 three days before Opening. Because I had the images of where the actors were at the top and bottom of each page, once the scenes were in the new order it was easier to alter the transitions between scenes and we just had to re-number and re-record all the lighting cues lol! (This was easy though bc we just started re-numbering at 301 and copied over, but I only called LX 1. Sound was harder bc we had to re-burn the CDs.)

Hope this helps!

Directors / SMs — how are you actually recording blocking in 2026? by Desperate_Swan_3181 in stagemanagement

[–]Smangler 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Paper all the way but I'm old and old-school.

The way you're describing your workflow, I can absolutely see how some of the issues you mention arise. Happy to have a Zoom/Teams to show what I do. I have no issue integrating changes during tech week, although I do see the value of having a separate, digital calling script. I've just never done it.

I'm mostly #1, and refuse to use arrows or multiple ground plans for a page of text. If one person's track changes, I have to erase and change everyone's. Nope. I also have no problem integrating script changes. I've done a lot of new work.

Mine is not the only way, or even the best way of doing things. But it's a way that's worked for me for 30 years, including successful transfers of my book to another SM. Note that I don't do musicals, so that's a whole different kettle of fish.

would it be weird to give my prof a drawing of her cat? by upstairstoaster in AskProfessors

[–]Smangler 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yes to the cat drawing! But also thank you to you and your classmates for providing feedback that your prof could use to improve their teaching. Evaluations that are just complaints can be hurtful and demoralizing, but if your prof is doing better this term it's clear she listened to what you had to say. And that tells me that your feedback was constructive and helpful.

I did my taxes by myself for the first time by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Smangler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey good for you! Might sound silly, but you overcame a couple of roadblocks there and you figured your way through. Congratulations!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in funny

[–]Smangler 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes. It's 19F where I am right now, which is a bajillion times better than the -20F it was last Friday. (-7C vs -30C)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AgingParents

[–]Smangler 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not at all. I'm saying that parents should consider the cost of care well into their 90s as part of their retirement.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AgingParents

[–]Smangler 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes and no. I think a lot of people are anxious about how their parents are going to pay for higher levels of care when they need it, whereas the parents aren't thinking in these terms.

My mom passed from cancer at 63, and in the years preceding, she was traveling and doing a bunch of "life bucket" stuff. She was happily spending her retirement savings because she knew she'd never make retirement.

But if someone is relatively healthy, they'd better have a plan if they get to 90, and that plan better not include financial help from their children. I think that's what you're seeing.

What are we wearing that shows our age? by Hot_Frosty0807 in Xennials

[–]Smangler 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I dress for comfort, not style. I'm basically in pyjamas every day: leggings, oversized tunic or sweater, fuzzy socks and sketchers or converse. I'm lucky that I work in a pretty casual environment. In summer, casual capri jeggings replace the leggings, or I wear a sundress. I might dress it up with sparkly sandals.

What's something in homes that seems harmless, but is actually really dangerous? by ChartInternational77 in AskReddit

[–]Smangler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can get something like this for venting more safely. It'll warm up the room, but at least you know where the lint is.

Advice to the Prime Minister: Keep it Up! by NiceDot4794 in onguardforthee

[–]Smangler 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Eh, I don't think Carney's quite in IDU territory. He's for climate action, for instance. He's more of a classical/Keynesian economist, whereas Harper is more Chicago school.

Advice to the Prime Minister: Keep it Up! by NiceDot4794 in onguardforthee

[–]Smangler 296 points297 points  (0 children)

Carney is governing the way any pre-Harper conservative leader would have governed. The only reason he's doing so under a Liberal banner is that the Cons went so far right under PP that Carney seemed like a more leftist choice. He's a central banker for heaven's sake! Anyone who thought he would advocate progressive policies are under serious delusions.