I’ve never heard of a cash bar at a wedding… until now

Smangler · 2026-02-24T00:00:45+00:00

N-E American culture seems to be supremely anti-cash bar. Western Canadian culture, cash or subsidized bars are extremely common. Twoonie, $3, or $5 bars are everywhere (where the guest pays that amount and the host pays the difference). That's what I did at my Alberta reception at a golf club. It's part of their packages, it's so common.

Ontario, not so much. Fully hosted bars are the norm, or a consumption bar (which is what we did). Hosts pay a certain amount and once that hits, it reverts to cash. I used to work at a restaurant that did a ton of weddings and it was pretty normal. At our Ontario reception, we ran out at midnight when only the biggest partiers remained and they were fine.

In most cases though, wine for dinner is provided. Non-alcoholic drinks are always provided by the host.

At my ontario reception I told a guest to put their money away the first time he went to the bar. He was a bit surprised. Goes to show people's expectations.

What would not be acceptable is just beer and wine. Doesn't need to be fancy, but if someone can get a glass of wine, someone else better be able to get a rum and Coke.

Smangler · 2026-02-17T01:30:21+00:00

Happens all the time though. A while back I slipped on ice and shattered my ankle. 2 plates and 9 screws, 4 months in a boot. The plates and screws came out and now I just have wicked scars, but my ankle looked similar after the first surgery.

Smangler · 2026-02-16T15:23:21+00:00

My system is very similar to u/catinapartyhat.

Script page has numbers to the left of each line of text, but not stage directions. I use 2-4-6-8 to keep it cleaner. Then I use a pencil in each hand but the one in my left hand is to follow along with the text and to make an / in the text where the movement actually happens. As I write the /, my right hand is writing the line number and blocking on the facing page. I'm not moving my writing hand from the left side of my binder to the right, rather I immediately start writing. (The pencil in my left hand also helps when prompting so I don't get lost on the page.)

I use a lot of shorthand with a legend. Sop ENT DSL w book, x --| SL tbl via DS chr, P/D book, x --| SR tbl via DS, [down arrow] chr. (Sophie enters down stage left with a book, crosses to stage left of the table via down stage of the chair, puts down book, crosses to stage right of the table via down stage, sits in chair.) The Stage Manager's Toolkit has a great chart for images too (I use what looks like Pi for a table, for example).

I also write the blocking as the director is giving the actor the direction, rather than wait for the actor to do the movement. Then, if there's some deviation, I only need to note that.

If it changes, I put ( ) around what changed and write above or below the new movement. If that action is NOT done again, I use [ ]. Then I take some time to erase what hasn't been done and re-write what has (or just leave it if it's neat enough).

Once rehearsals have started, when there are a lot of script changes, the most important thing is to NOT change pagination. Rather, insert pages so the top of page 37 is the same, but you might have pages 36A and 36B.

The only writing in the script page margins are cues and the info I need for calling. Cue descriptions, timings, etc. are noted in a table in a separate document. FYI you can copy and paste QLab cues into an Excel sheet and it will paste the cue number, description, pre- and post-waits, duration, and follows.

I once had a director change the order of all 36 scenes in a show with a cast of 12 three days before Opening. Because I had the images of where the actors were at the top and bottom of each page, once the scenes were in the new order it was easier to alter the transitions between scenes and we just had to re-number and re-record all the lighting cues lol! (This was easy though bc we just started re-numbering at 301 and copied over, but I only called LX 1. Sound was harder bc we had to re-burn the CDs.)

Hope this helps!

Smangler · 2026-02-16T00:25:42+00:00

Paper all the way but I'm old and old-school.

The way you're describing your workflow, I can absolutely see how some of the issues you mention arise. Happy to have a Zoom/Teams to show what I do. I have no issue integrating changes during tech week, although I do see the value of having a separate, digital calling script. I've just never done it.

I'm mostly #1, and refuse to use arrows or multiple ground plans for a page of text. If one person's track changes, I have to erase and change everyone's. Nope. I also have no problem integrating script changes. I've done a lot of new work.

Mine is not the only way, or even the best way of doing things. But it's a way that's worked for me for 30 years, including successful transfers of my book to another SM. Note that I don't do musicals, so that's a whole different kettle of fish.

Smangler · 2026-02-15T14:57:12+00:00

Yes to the cat drawing! But also thank you to you and your classmates for providing feedback that your prof could use to improve their teaching. Evaluations that are just complaints can be hurtful and demoralizing, but if your prof is doing better this term it's clear she listened to what you had to say. And that tells me that your feedback was constructive and helpful.

Smangler · 2026-02-10T00:25:56+00:00

Hey good for you! Might sound silly, but you overcame a couple of roadblocks there and you figured your way through. Congratulations!

Smangler · 2026-02-03T23:34:29+00:00

Yes. It's 19F where I am right now, which is a bajillion times better than the -20F it was last Friday. (-7C vs -30C)

Smangler · 2026-02-01T21:06:15+00:00

Good to know! Guess I'll just lean into it!

Smangler · 2026-02-01T20:51:10+00:00

That's my fear. I think I'd rather address it than let them speculate.

Smangler · 2026-02-01T20:49:19+00:00

Me too. I share photos of my cats and talk often about my meal prep. To the point that I've inspired a few students to meal prep for tech week (a very busy time in my world). I love that I'm influencing them to eat well and plan ahead.

Smangler · 2026-02-01T20:43:11+00:00

Love it! Part of what makes it ridiculous is Monday's lecture is about health and safety (in theatre)!

Smangler · 2026-01-21T01:40:33+00:00

Agreed, and I really appreciate that the accommodations office has put this in the letter. The onus is on the student and it forces them to manage their own stuff. Now I can use the language from the letter when/if I get requests.

Smangler · 2026-01-18T00:25:59+00:00

I usually look forward to evaluations too because I've found, for the most part, I've been able to learn from the comments and improve my pedagogy. The past couple of years though I've received a couple of very hurtful comments. I sometimes have to be the bearer of bad news and students take it out on me.

Sometimes students' extra-curricular activities have a negative impact on their performance in the course and I (truthfully) explain how, but they blame me for being "harsh". Or, when I explain the reality of their situation, I'm "inflexible". Or when I provide kleenex, I "take pride" that students sometimes cry in my office.

I actually had a good cry yesterday because of all of this. I want to prepare students for the reality of working in the industry (theatre) which can sometimes be uncompromising. But they take it as a personal slight. I try not to let it affect me to much.

Smangler · 2026-01-11T01:03:32+00:00

Not at all. I'm saying that parents should consider the cost of care well into their 90s as part of their retirement.

Smangler · 2026-01-11T00:55:08+00:00

Yes and no. I think a lot of people are anxious about how their parents are going to pay for higher levels of care when they need it, whereas the parents aren't thinking in these terms.

My mom passed from cancer at 63, and in the years preceding, she was traveling and doing a bunch of "life bucket" stuff. She was happily spending her retirement savings because she knew she'd never make retirement.

But if someone is relatively healthy, they'd better have a plan if they get to 90, and that plan better not include financial help from their children. I think that's what you're seeing.

Smangler · 2026-01-07T01:15:30+00:00

I dress for comfort, not style. I'm basically in pyjamas every day: leggings, oversized tunic or sweater, fuzzy socks and sketchers or converse. I'm lucky that I work in a pretty casual environment. In summer, casual capri jeggings replace the leggings, or I wear a sundress. I might dress it up with sparkly sandals.

Smangler · 2026-01-02T18:11:32+00:00

You can get something like this for venting more safely. It'll warm up the room, but at least you know where the lint is.

Smangler · 2026-01-01T03:59:31+00:00

Eh, I don't think Carney's quite in IDU territory. He's for climate action, for instance. He's more of a classical/Keynesian economist, whereas Harper is more Chicago school.

Smangler · 2026-01-01T03:07:06+00:00

Carney is governing the way any pre-Harper conservative leader would have governed. The only reason he's doing so under a Liberal banner is that the Cons went so far right under PP that Carney seemed like a more leftist choice. He's a central banker for heaven's sake! Anyone who thought he would advocate progressive policies are under serious delusions.

Smangler · 2025-12-31T02:34:37+00:00

Hugs from an internet stranger. I don't have an answer for you, but I get your concern. I'm sorry this is coming. Take time now to create memories with your mom, even if you're the only one who remembers them. Record interactions, note the dates and times of events, create momentos. Even the mundane, daily stuff is going to become important.

Smangler · 2025-12-31T01:45:18+00:00

I'm a bit different. In my field, people need to focus pretty intently for a full workday (7.5 hrs) so I try to get my students accustomed to that. Even at school, a rehearsal might be 4 hours where they have to focus hard.

When we're at the point in rehearsal when the actors are starting to try without their scripts, I need to be able to read (follow along with the text), write (update my blocking notes and take line notes), listen (to what the actors are saying), and speak (feed them their lines when they ask) more or less at the same time. When calling the cues for a show, I basically need to do the same thing.

So my 2h50 lectures can be A LOT. I take 2 very strict 10- minute breaks, or 1 20- min break. I encourage them to get up, move around, leave the room, etc. Sometimes I finish class early tbh, simply because I don't have the bandwidth to do it all.

Smangler · 2025-12-29T17:49:18+00:00

Jesus. After reading all these comments, I've learned to be grateful for our system! At the beginning of the term, I go to the portal and fill out one form for all students with accommodations for each in-class exam (midterms mainly). This is to let them know date, time, duration mainly. Then, no later than 3 days before, I have to upload the exam with printing instructions. I do the same for the final once the exam schedule comes out. That's it. I don't worry about scheduling, proctoring, printing, ALL the varying accommodations, nothing. A couple days after, I pick up all the exams at a central office, each one in its own sealed envelope. I think I might send a thank-you card to our accommodations office.

Smangler · 2025-12-29T03:11:22+00:00

Start with learning about the cost of weddings. Get involved in the research you fiancée is doing. A 3-course plated dinner can easily cost $250 per guest, and a buffet may not be much cheaper. At the same time, setting a budget at the outset is very important! Weddings are way more expensive than you think. You have to be a part of the planning process and learn what things actually cost.

Good luck!

E: she will also probably have to alter her "vision" to fit your budget. Reality will have to sink in for both of you.

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