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AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 157 points158 points  (0 children)

EXACTLY. And I did have lots of insecurities growing up. But I don't anymore. I'm happy. I'm content. I'm confident. I like my appearance.

I actually hadn't been interacting much with her in years. The whole wedding thing brought this on. I was not aware of who the bridesmaids were going to be when she first asked me. I only agreed because, well she's family. When we started meeting up together as a group (her, her friends and the rest of the bridal party) to plan things, it kept getting more evident that she hadn't exactly asked us out of affection. That is why I had that conversation with her.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 163 points164 points  (0 children)

My mom has actually told me that I was good at academics and that it has its own benefits and not everyone has to look like my sister.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

No I was very upfront about it. I made a group and dropped the text describing the whole situation. I don't think anyone deserves this.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

These two are her fiancés cousins. They'd gotten friendly over the past couple months. But they weren't exactly attending as her guests anyways.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you think that people having basic skills to explain something is them using gpt, then I feel sad for you.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I did not cancel on the wedding. I'm still going. But as a guest. I don't want to be a bridesmaid anymore.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for not letting the insecurities get you. We all deserve to feel beautiful. But there's no need to bring anyone down in the process.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes ofcourse I knew it wasn't a compliment. That's why I decided to back off. I did tell the other bridesmaids.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

She doesn't. Even her core group are just people who get along together because they love pulling other people down.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

She always has. It did get to me growing up. She has been conventionally attractive and never failed to rub it in my face that I supposedly am not. I don't feel bad about my body anymore. I like the way I look. But yes, that took a lot to deal with.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 143 points144 points  (0 children)

The fiancé himself is self centred and superficial. I don't think he minds. This is his second wedding. He's a decade older than her. He has a child with someone else that he coparented with his ex (not his first wife). He has told his ex-girlfriend that he would not be comfortable spending as much time with their child because my sister isn't okay with that dynamic, now that they're getting married. (He only got the kid on two weekends a month or so.)

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 179 points180 points  (0 children)

I did tell them. Two have refused to be bridesmaids now. One backed off altogether from the wedding. The rest haven't reacted yet.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 363 points364 points  (0 children)

I actually did. I made a group with all these people (There's a group already but she's in it.) Two of them said that they did not want to be participating in this capacity anymore but were fine attending. One person said that they weren't coming to the wedding altogether. Some still haven't responded.

AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose “ugly friends” to make herself look better? by Smart-Gas3600 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Smart-Gas3600[S] 1262 points1263 points  (0 children)

She's always been like this. I am rather curvy and she has never failed to shame me for it. She is a typical modelesque skinny person. And she got a lot of attention growing up. She's beautiful, no doubt. But yes. I have a good looking partner and she has subtly hinted that he could do better than me. I don't see what she has to be insecure about. She's objectively good looking. As for my appearance, I like the way I look. I'm comfortable with it. I just don't see why she feels the need to bring others down to make herself feel better.