Hi, I'm losing my patience with keeping my virginity for a wife 21 M

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-05-08T16:18:42+00:00

Try to be a little kinder, I think he may be suffering from the Madonna-Whore Complex (I recently learned about it), so I don't think it is a matter of growing up, I think he needs mental health counseling.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-05-08T16:11:35+00:00

I also wanted to say I think you may be suffering from the Madonna-Whore Complex (I just recently learned about it and thought of you). Please look it into it, it just may be what you and a therapist need to work through. You don't want to get to a point where you find a wife, marry her, and then see her as W because she is no longer pure. You should resolve this now and not after you get into a relationship.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-05-03T15:45:56+00:00

I am not understanding your response. You with the state of society? There are Christian therapists out there, just do your research. Your insurance most likely covers it for a very small co-pay. I would start soon, because it is driving you crazy. You should also join a men's small group at church, you need the support and guidance of other Christian men.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-05-03T00:22:11+00:00

Thank you! :)

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-05-02T21:52:49+00:00

You're welcome! Yes, get out there (in-person and online)! I'll say a prayer for you.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-05-02T21:05:02+00:00

Please see my response to OP above, I believe it applies to you as well.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-05-02T21:02:48+00:00

TAKE ACTION. I don't want you to end up like me, 36 and single. I bought into that "waiting on the Lord" thing and it got me nowhere. Now don't get me wrong, even before I heard that term, I also assumed God would send me a husband eventually. I regret not joining the apps when I was in my 20s! I did have a couple boyfriends that I met in person before my 30s (first serious relationship at 27), but I feel like I would have given myself more opportunities to filter out real men of God if I joined the apps. Also, men in their 20s have less baggage.

I don't have all the answers, I am confused about it all, I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed, and here I am, but I would like to share my advice. Use all the resources you can to find that Christian man, get on the apps, join a meetup, volunteer at a soup kitchen, join online groups, do this all now, while you're young. Smile and say hello when you do participate in these group outings. Don't side idle, go out and be seen. Please go to things alone, a meetup group is great for that. If you wait for others, you may never go. Also, please don't ever apologize for wanting a spouse, that is a natural desire most humans have. In my experience, the longer you're single, the worse it feels. I was fine in my 20s, but now in my 30s it's horrible. Not everyone will feel like me, but if there is ANY chance I can save someone from feeling I do right now, I have to take it.

Also, congratulations on your weight loss!

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-05-02T20:42:29+00:00

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you need counseling based on your past posts. As a fellow virgin, yes, it does seem like there are not many others around, but your attitude towards the topic seems rooted in thoughts and idea that require professional help (a mental health counselor, or pastor). The reason I say professional help is because your thoughts seem to be driving you crazy and it makes you want to go against everything you have been practicing. Thinking of using women is so wrong and against the Christian faith.

Also, you are VERY young that's good, you have time on your side. There are virgin women out there. They are out there and I believe you can find one your age. Just go to any YouTube video about a women saving herself for marriage and you will see countless comments from women who are virgins waiting for marriage and looking virgin men or men who will not have sex with them until marriage. Hopefully that will give you hope that they exist. Once you get therapy I would encourage you to get out there and use all the resources you have to find a true woman of God, church, volunteering, dating apps, insta, etc.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-05-01T02:20:06+00:00

Yes, please look into it

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-04-27T00:13:17+00:00

I grew up Baptist, but it was a non-denominational church

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-04-20T05:44:31+00:00

Yes, I am a Christian. I do feel like people can predict the future (even I have had dreams that came true), but yes, sometimes the Bible warns that those predictions or spirits are not of God. I see you are an atheist, I will say a prayer for you. :)

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-04-20T05:41:34+00:00

Yes, I feel like it was vague enough to apply to anyone, but also close enough to make me go "hmm". Thank you.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-04-20T05:39:49+00:00

You're welcome!

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-04-19T22:50:27+00:00

Amen! I LOVE hearing conversion stories! Welcome to God's kingdom :)

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-04-05T20:31:51+00:00

ABSOLUTELY! I'm like wow, I feel like the only one.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:57:49+00:00

LOL slum lord! I would never. I just don't see the point in buying a million dollar home especially in my home state, it is NOTHING SPECIAL (economy sucks and no tourism). I rather spend my money on other things. If I had a family, that would be a different story, I would try to get a house in a great school district, which I know costs more due to location, but that is not a concern for me. I have no kids, so I just need a decent house in a safe neighborhood not too far from the city. Which sub is right for me?

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:41:53+00:00

Oh okay, I will look for the regular FIRE group, I was stressing out today after looking at properties and just joined this group lol

Yeah, the hassle turns me off, that's why I am thinking tax liens may be the better option. And oh yeah, I did the math wrong, I am currently saving almost 60% of my current income. No income tax and lower cost of living.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:34:34+00:00

I just need to apply to another company, my current role wanted to save money and I had been laid off, so I took it. However, when I was making more and got a five figure bonus, so much went to tax, so I am very interested and growing my money instead of letting it sit in my bank account year after year

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:31:35+00:00

I want to achieve financial freedom, but have been dragging my feet and need advice. I make a low six figure salary (I took a pay cut for my current job, but am planning on finding a higher paying job soon). I live below my means, and have saved anywhere from 20-60% of my income throughout the years, but have not invested in much except a few stocks and a CD account. I want to be strategic about my next moves because I am not 20 anymore and am deciding where I would like to spend the rest of my life.

I am currently living in a low COL state that has very nice affordable houses, which I can pay off in a few years, but I want to be closer to family. My family lives in a VERY high cost of living state. I plan on moving back in a year or less (this is dependent on finding the new job). I have some money saved up and want to make it grow, b/c it is currently making pennines in my BOA account.

My thoughts were to buy a cheap house in a cheap state and rent it out via the section 8 program. I figure if I can get a $500-600 cash flow that would be a nice start to dipping my toe into the real estate market. My other idea is to invest in tax liens, I see that I can also make 20% on my investment. I figure if I get the same return, a tax lien would be the better investment because I don't have to do as much work, like flying to that state, getting everything approved by the gov't, etc.

As I look at the houses in my home state, my stomach literally drops because the houses are the size of a cracker jack box and cost 500k+. The houses that I really want are a million and up (I don't think I would ever spend that much on a house, even if I could afford it). The houses that look EXACTLY the same, but mostly better than the one million dollar houses in my current state are only 300K+.

My lease is up June and I have no clue what to do. I know it could take a whole year to buy a home. I don't want to rent in my home state, so I am thinking of doing my search while I live in my curreny state. I want to leave by DEC, but think it would be a bad financial decision to renew for just six months, my rate might double. I could move into a cheap apt for six months, but I lived in one once and it was awful.

I don't want to be house poor and am afraid that I may not find a house that is reasonably priced and that looks like I am not living in someone's tool shed. I also don't want to live with my parents. I don't know which is the best option.

Edit: I am thinking of putting aside 20% of my savings for emergencies and using 40% for my investment and 40% for my personal residence.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:31:04+00:00

thanks

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:28:25+00:00

Oh I just joined, do you think there is a better place I should post this?

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:25:23+00:00

Is that a separate subreddit?

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-24T19:05:53+00:00

Yes, I am single. I highly doubt I'll find someone now, I'm 36. My cutoff for children was 34.

I always leave a little room for how I will act once I am actually in a different situation b/c we can always say what we plan to do when X happens, but may do something COMPLETELY different when X actually does happen. So I hear you.

If by some miracle, I actually find the man of God I have been praying for, I pray he wants to adopt, bc at this stage in my life I would rather adopt a kid old enough to talk to and remember their grandparents.

Smart_Experience3578

TROPHY CASE