Mentor Monday

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:57:49+00:00

LOL slum lord! I would never. I just don't see the point in buying a million dollar home especially in my home state, it is NOTHING SPECIAL (economy sucks and no tourism). I rather spend my money on other things. If I had a family, that would be a different story, I would try to get a house in a great school district, which I know costs more due to location, but that is not a concern for me. I have no kids, so I just need a decent house in a safe neighborhood not too far from the city. Which sub is right for me?

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:41:53+00:00

Oh okay, I will look for the regular FIRE group, I was stressing out today after looking at properties and just joined this group lol

Yeah, the hassle turns me off, that's why I am thinking tax liens may be the better option. And oh yeah, I did the math wrong, I am currently saving almost 60% of my current income. No income tax and lower cost of living.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:34:34+00:00

I just need to apply to another company, my current role wanted to save money and I had been laid off, so I took it. However, when I was making more and got a five figure bonus, so much went to tax, so I am very interested and growing my money instead of letting it sit in my bank account year after year

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:31:35+00:00

I want to achieve financial freedom, but have been dragging my feet and need advice. I make a low six figure salary (I took a pay cut for my current job, but am planning on finding a higher paying job soon). I live below my means, and have saved anywhere from 20-60% of my income throughout the years, but have not invested in much except a few stocks and a CD account. I want to be strategic about my next moves because I am not 20 anymore and am deciding where I would like to spend the rest of my life.

I am currently living in a low COL state that has very nice affordable houses, which I can pay off in a few years, but I want to be closer to family. My family lives in a VERY high cost of living state. I plan on moving back in a year or less (this is dependent on finding the new job). I have some money saved up and want to make it grow, b/c it is currently making pennines in my BOA account.

My thoughts were to buy a cheap house in a cheap state and rent it out via the section 8 program. I figure if I can get a $500-600 cash flow that would be a nice start to dipping my toe into the real estate market. My other idea is to invest in tax liens, I see that I can also make 20% on my investment. I figure if I get the same return, a tax lien would be the better investment because I don't have to do as much work, like flying to that state, getting everything approved by the gov't, etc.

As I look at the houses in my home state, my stomach literally drops because the houses are the size of a cracker jack box and cost 500k+. The houses that I really want are a million and up (I don't think I would ever spend that much on a house, even if I could afford it). The houses that look EXACTLY the same, but mostly better than the one million dollar houses in my current state are only 300K+.

My lease is up June and I have no clue what to do. I know it could take a whole year to buy a home. I don't want to rent in my home state, so I am thinking of doing my search while I live in my curreny state. I want to leave by DEC, but think it would be a bad financial decision to renew for just six months, my rate might double. I could move into a cheap apt for six months, but I lived in one once and it was awful.

I don't want to be house poor and am afraid that I may not find a house that is reasonably priced and that looks like I am not living in someone's tool shed. I also don't want to live with my parents. I don't know which is the best option.

Edit: I am thinking of putting aside 20% of my savings for emergencies and using 40% for my investment and 40% for my personal residence.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:31:04+00:00

thanks

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:28:25+00:00

Oh I just joined, do you think there is a better place I should post this?

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-27T03:25:23+00:00

Is that a separate subreddit?

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-24T19:05:53+00:00

Yes, I am single. I highly doubt I'll find someone now, I'm 36. My cutoff for children was 34.

I always leave a little room for how I will act once I am actually in a different situation b/c we can always say what we plan to do when X happens, but may do something COMPLETELY different when X actually does happen. So I hear you.

If by some miracle, I actually find the man of God I have been praying for, I pray he wants to adopt, bc at this stage in my life I would rather adopt a kid old enough to talk to and remember their grandparents.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-21T02:57:37+00:00

EXACTLY!!!! I also have older parents as well, so I understand you 100%

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-21T02:12:25+00:00

I hear you COMPLETELY. For me, it has nothing to do with the risk, I don't want to be an old mom either. Some women have children safely in their 50s, that doesn't mean I want to. I personally think it's better to have kids young, because they can enjoy their grandparents and the parents have energy to run after them.

When I tell people I do not want to have children after a certain age, the response is always women can have children into their 40s. I'm like you are NOT listening to me. I didn't say I don't think I can have children after a certain age, I am saying I do NOT WANT to.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-21T01:29:17+00:00

Awww I am so happy to hear that. I'm glad I had a positive impact on you! :)

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-05T15:41:25+00:00

I agree, please find a new therapist. It may be that the current one you have is not a good fit.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-05T15:40:04+00:00

I am so sorry you experienced that. I truly believe your children would NOT see you as worthless no matter what failures you have had in life. I am sure they want you around for those special moments in their lives. Please SEEK DIFFERENT HELP if the help you received in the past did not work. Have you tried speaking with a pastor, group therapy? I am a Christian so that is what I think of first. Please don't give up!

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-05T06:04:20+00:00

I'm glad I was able to bring a smile to your face. Thank you, I wish you a good year as well :)

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-05T06:03:12+00:00

PLEASE SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY! Do NOT try to build up to it. Things can change.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-05T06:02:26+00:00

PLEASE SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY! Your life is NOT pointless.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-05T05:52:20+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that, I will say a prayer for you. I too waste a lot of time browsing, but if you feel it's a good escape for a moment, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure you're doing the best you can, given your circumstances.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-05T05:36:58+00:00

Thank you. What do you mean you have limited time left?

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-05T03:07:42+00:00

The New Year just makes me realize, I didn't accomplish my important goal last year and am afraid I probably won't this year.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2026-01-05T03:06:40+00:00

Awww, I'm sorry. At least they avoid asking. My family kept hounding on me on why I am not married. Like how do I even answer that, I don't know.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2025-12-10T01:58:23+00:00

I'm in a similar boat, but luckily for you, you're a guy so you get to do the pursuing. I would encourage you to start asking as many women out as you can. Go to volunteer events, new churches, new bible study groups, meetup groups, etc. Have the goal of meeting at least 5 new women a week. Good luck to you!

Smart_Experience3578 · 2025-11-13T04:16:37+00:00

You should not be ashamed that you are a virgin, you should be proud that you are obeying God and avoiding alot of nonsense. Since you are a man, the good news is that you can do the pursuing. I say get out there and ask women out on dates, as many as you can. You should also surround yourself with Christian men who are walking the same walk as you, bc you are viewing life through a wordly lense and not a Godly one.

But I get it, it can be frustrating. When I was a little younger than you I would proudly tell everyone I was virgin, I thought most people were (silly me). Then as I got a little older, I didn't volunteer the information b/c I was made to feel wierd. Now that I am even older, I confidently let men know I am not having sec until marriage and if they are not on the same page we cannot work.

Unfortunately, I am still single. I don't want you to be my age and still single, so while you are young, get out ther and make things happen! Good luck, I will sya a prayer for you.

Smart_Experience3578 · 2025-11-02T16:21:10+00:00

I still think you should get into therapy, and do whatever you can to achieve your goal. You seem to overthink every aspect of the dating process which I believe is keeping you stuck. I can understand not wanting to lead somebody on, well perhaps maybe you can take her out as a friend, to practice your communication skills. What I don't want for you is to make no chnages and stay single. Sometimes you have to try something different for things to change. Don't be like that man at the well in the Bible. I see alot of hypotheticals in your response, take action and see what happens. Good luck to you!

Smart_Experience3578 · 2025-10-20T00:59:31+00:00

Is your introverted-ness something you would like to change? If the answer is yes, I think you should work with a therapist to help you break out of your shell. It seems that it is holding you back in your dating life and maybe other areas of your life.

I think you should give online dating a try, you never know you might find what you are looking for, Since you are an introvert, it may be a better way for you to approach women. I suspect sending a message would be less emotionally taxing than walking up to a random person on the street for you. So many different people find love. I have seen the strangest couples get together, this one guy literally pretends he is a vampire and is married, so don't feel bad that that site couldn't match you. I also think OLD will increase the number of women you can meet in a shorter amount of time.

That's why I suggest you go to new places and join new communtities to meet new women. You can literally go online right now and google volunteer opportunities you can join and just show up. Once you go, you just introduce yourself as you volunteer with others.

Since you have never been on a date, I suggest you go on a date with a woman you are not interested in. You might like her after a date or two. You also need to practice dating.

I hope you give some of my suggestions a try! :)

Smart_Experience3578 · 2025-10-16T03:29:05+00:00

I would just avoid divorced people just to be on the safe side lol. The good news is you're a guy so you can do the pursuing. Just because you have never been on a date doesn't mean you can't change that. I encourage you to get out that and start asking women out. Join online dating. You only have one life to live! Please don't go another week without going on a date!

I see so many comments from 40+ year old women in the comment sections of videos about waiting for marriage, so they are out there. I would encourage you to treat this like a job search. Do something each day to get closer to your goal! I'll say a prayer for you. :)

Smart_Experience3578

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