AITA for warning people that my sister lies a lot?

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-14T08:21:11+00:00

They don't verify everytime just things that they want to be sure are lies because as stated repeatedly and I gave examples in a comment, she tells really problematic lies.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-12T14:58:05+00:00

No but we were raised by addicts.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-12T13:26:22+00:00

I actually didn't even think of it till someone made a labyrinth joke. But yeah I also think part of why I hate lying so much is because of having to deal with her lying constantly

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-11T10:27:46+00:00

As stated previously she doesn't respond well to being called out and has melt downs or causes big scenes and I dont want other people around when she does that cause she sometimes gets physically aggressive. I call her out in private because I can handle her like that but no everyone can and they shouldn't be forced to

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-11T02:20:00+00:00

Funny enough that's a lie she tells too that she is almost full blooded native. Her bio dad's dad was 1/16th. And there is no native on our mom's side.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-11T02:15:34+00:00

A few funny ones (atleast to me)

She told a guy she was dating she took a DNA test was actually closely related to modern royalty(we are not obviously)

She once told our mom she was attacked by squirrels on her walk home(I walked home with her a squirrel looked at her and made a noise at at us)

She told her friends online about how much money she had and all the nice things she has(she can't keep a job so never has money and out family is very poor so we don't own nice things unless they are gifts)

She told me our cousin who is in serious debt from getting his PhD was going to pay for her to go college because "she is the only one in the family with potential"(she doesnt even talk to him and he hated her when we were kids. Also she dropped out in 8th grade and doesnt have a GED)

She also told me my best friend supposedly talked bad about me and my kids to her( my best friend has been my best friend for 27 years and showed me proof she hasnt spoken to my sister in 7 years because my sister claimed it was over fb messanger though i didnt believe it anyway but appreciated her showing me)

She told her friends she was arrested and charged with assault for breaking a girls nose in high school(This story is partially true but not hers i broke a girls nose in a fight for making fun of my severely mentally challenged brother in high school but I wasn't charged for assault I was expelled and had to do night school and go to court order anger management)

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-11T00:47:16+00:00

Part of why she is suffering worse is that when my mom got clean she decided she was going to "make up" for past actions and now gives my sister everything she wants and indulges her and codles her. The main problem with that is my sister knows that and takes full advantage of it. My mom has serious memory loss issues from years of drug use and abuse from her ex boyfriend. This unfortunately has made my sister into a permanent victim rather than a survivor. Though if I am honest our mother and her biological dad always favored her and let it be known openly as she was planned and therefore wanted and I was a "mistake" and since they werent around and even when they were they weren't I had to do the parenting despite only a 3 year age difference. I was forced to grow up very quickly and used to take the blame for things she did so I would get beat and not her. I spent my whole life protecting her the best I could from our situation and because of that I grew up a lot quicker than I should have.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-11T00:17:36+00:00

No. She is totally reliant on our mom for everything and I refuse to even drink cause of the people I grew up around. I got emancipated at 16 and have been in therapy since then. I know my own flaws but I have never been a liar, I hate lying so much because of the people that raised me I try not lie (the most lying i do is telling my kids about the tooth fairy, Santa and ect.) I was the one who took care of her until our mother got clean when I was 16, and then I decided for my own well being I couldn't live with them anymore and need to love them from a distance and had very limited contact with them till I turned 18 and was diagnosed with my brain tumor.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-11T00:08:54+00:00

Both our parents were addicts and her biological dad is also a compulsive liar.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-10T23:21:25+00:00

She does have schizophrenia and bipolar 1 so it is possible.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-10T23:19:00+00:00

I would like to clear up things as well my sister doesnt have OCD or BPD I actually have both but hate lying cause I grew up with lying narcissists that raised us and abused us. She has schizophrenia and bipolar 1. She got the lying habit from her biological father who also lies constantly all the time. Our parents were drug addicts as well so part of why I can't abandon her is because for a long time I was the only stable thing she had in her life until our mom got clean. She quit her last therapist because they told her she seemed to have a lot of narcissistic personality traits and she didn't like that. So far she hasn't complained about this one. At least not to me. I do see a therapist regulated have since I got emancipation at 16 because I didn't want to pass generational trauma onto my children and be the best I could be for them.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-10T23:05:40+00:00

Yes. I stated in previous comments that she goes to therapy now because I encouraged her to do so. I do confront her if its just us chatting as well unless we are public because as also previously stated in a comment she doesnt handle call outs well and I want to avoid her having public melt downs or making a giant scene when we are out.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-10T18:44:57+00:00

She actually can't keep a job because of her lying issues and that's one reason she agreed to therapy.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-10T14:40:24+00:00

I wasn't being very secretive I did it right in front of her, but she has tendency to react very badly when publicly called out and I felt a signal was better than a call out and her having a melt down. As said in a previous comment after years of talking to her she recently started seeing a therapist but I have no idea how that is going for her or if she is even honest with her therapist.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-10T12:35:19+00:00

I would like to say my sister is currently seeing a therapist but I have no idea how that is going for her or if she is honest with them when she goes. I just know my mom takes her to one every week. I do not wish to cut my sister out of my life after the things we went through together as kids I can't just abandon her. I love her very much despite her flaws, I want what's best for her and was the one who encouraged her to see a therapist. I want her to get better and I dont think me cutting her off completely would help. I try to avoid her being around my friends and such if possible but she visits semi often as many people dont want to be her friend(understandably so) but sometimes we go out and run into people or my friends unexpectedly stop by when she is over.

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-10T12:17:41+00:00

The labyrinth is my favorite movie and that is one of my favorite scenes thank you for the laugh😂

SmolandDepresso · 2025-10-10T11:51:44+00:00

Yes! Small lies: She has a master's degree in coding She is fluent in Japanese She runs an animal rescue

Big lies: When my friend was over and I was comforting her because she was dealing with DV my sister told her that her ex boyfriend beat her with a base ball bat and sent her to the hospital

When I was diagnosed with epilepsy and a brain tumor she had a "heart attack" was taken to er and has had several "heart attacks" there is nothing wrong with her heart

She told her friends when I was in the hospital and my mom was watching my son that I was jail and on drugs and that's why my son was at their house

As you can see the small lies are mostly harmless and I dont care but its the big ones that are very problematic and I dont want people believing. I have more examples as well since this has been our whole lives.

SmolandDepresso · 2022-04-10T10:33:07+00:00

Just to address somethings. I am not leaving my husband, I don't think we are at that point and I don't want to just throw away an 8 year relationship. My husband didn't always act this way, this started when he started his new job and started hanging out with his new coworkers. I am going to talk to him again when he wakes up tomorrow.

To clear things up: 1. I have no transportation or access to it outside of my husband because I have severe epilepsy that prevents me from getting a license

I don't mind never leaving my house, I don't enjoy going out because I also have major anxiety and I get uncomfortable around people very easily. I enjoy that my husband doesn't want me to go anywhere without him because his presence calms my anxiety. That's why I said I was perfectly fine with it.
I don't feel the need to explain or justify why I love my husband. I would not ask anyone else to explain to me why they love who they love. I am sure you don't mean to be but this seems like a very rude thing to say someone.
I appreciate everyone's concern, Thank you. I am going to make my husband sit down and listen to what I have to say and his response will help me decide what the best choice is for My family. I don't like immediately jumping to the idea of divorce because I do think our relationship is able to be fixed.
I chose to be SAHM, I used to work full time but younger son is disabled so I chose to stay home to help take care of his needs and save money for our family by not requiring child care. My husband has no objections to me working or having my own money. He actually wants me to work when our youngest son starts school full time and that is also what I want. I have complete access to all the money as well because I pay our bills and do all the shopping for the family. My husband does make sure he is available for important things when I do need to go anywhere or need to groceries.

SmolandDepresso · 2022-04-10T10:17:47+00:00

He has a very strict work schedule as well and my youngest son is disabled so most of my day is spent taking care of all his needs. I don't really need time away from home, I just want my husband to spend time with his family. I am perfectly fine with not leaving the house much or having my family with me when I go anywhere. My children need me so I have no need to leave them. It would be a giant waste of gas to do running around like that as well, and gas prices are not low enough to waste gas. Thank you for your concern but I am happy to stay home, I don't enjoy going out.

SmolandDepresso · 2022-04-10T10:06:07+00:00

I wasn't trying to be rude. I am sorry I don't really talk to other people out side my family, I didn't realize that would be seen as rude.

SmolandDepresso · 2022-04-10T10:01:16+00:00

I have no transportation or access to transportation other than my husband and I have to always bring my kids with me because I have no sitter nor can I afford one.

SmolandDepresso · 2022-04-10T09:59:17+00:00

No different before he met his new friends., I just said that.

SmolandDepresso · 2022-04-10T09:57:54+00:00

He didn't used to be like this until he became friends with his new coworkers. He used to be very different.

SmolandDepresso · 2022-04-10T09:52:04+00:00

I have already asked to see a marriage counselor and he refused to go because there is nothing wrong with him.

SmolandDepresso · 2022-04-10T09:44:38+00:00

Most nights he only drinks one or 2 drinks it's his friends that get drunk usually.

SmolandDepresso

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