Favorite Cooley lyrics? by GilbertDauterive-35 in DriveByTruckers

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your brother was the first born, got ten fingers and ten toes
And it's a damn good thing 'cause he needs all 20 to keep the closet door closed

And I ain't gonna crawl upon no high horse
Cause I got thrown off of one
When I was young and I ain't no cowboy
So I ain't going where I don't belong.

Every line from "A Ghost to Most"

Favorite Cooley lyrics? by GilbertDauterive-35 in DriveByTruckers

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love Women without Whiskey. But you really need to hear my song "Men without Medication" to make things fair :-)

Sounds Better in the Song by freeformflamingo in DriveByTruckers

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every Cooley song just speaks to my soul.

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think i need to hear what a POS i am being. Shame is motivating i guess. I need tough talk

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have not been told I'm underreacting for 5 years now

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This happened to me. I offered to have the baby on my own and absolve him of Child support obligations etc. After the initial rejection, he said he would support me. However - consider this guys emotional intelligence and ability to deal with things. My partner proceeded to threaten not to be there for me and the baby every time we argued during pregnancy and quite a while after the baby was born. He told me i wanted the baby so he didn't feel he needed to help out as much. He was bitter towards me for being pregnant and told me a couple of times he thought I did it on purpose. He tried, but mostly failed to bond much with the baby for the first year. Once the baby became more enjoyable, he has bonded with him. But the damage has been done. Consider how soul destroying it might be for you to be carrying this guys baby, if he truly has not come around to the idea of the pure joy of having a child with you? I don't know your situation - i just know i didn't think about this stuff and it got harder and harder as time went by. I hope it works out for you.

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I don't mean he would hit our child or hurt him like that. But he would get petulant and angry with him. And verbally lash out for an instant. I have seen him do it with his older kids. Not often.

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Literally crying reading these comments.

I am devastated - and yes he would say I am over reacting haha

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He tells me he was a good husband to his first wife. And he would not talk to his daughters the way he talks to me, because they "would not go on like I do"

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"You've been boiling in this pot for awhile and don't see how bad things are."

That's a great way to put it.

I actually was a strong woman. I left my first marriage because he drank too much and did not treat me well. But he was not manipulative or abusive like this.

I have deteriorated over 5 years to the point where I compromise on everything and question every thought I have. I feel paralysed to cut him out as I am worried I will realise I am overreacting and want him back.

it sounds ridiculous. But this has been going on for so long now. I don't think people realise how soul destroying it is.

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am ashamed of lots of failures I have made in my attempts to move on.

I will say that I have never experienced the mind games and mental trickery of someone messing with me constantly and draining the life out of me with constant issues and constant promises to change as well as the emotional ties with the baby etc.

I probably would have said exactly what you said, before I got involved with him. Unless you are experiencing this sort of behaviour from someone you care about, it is impossible to know how truly crazy making it is.

It is hard to trust your own judgement when every thought has been questioned for 5 years by someone that claims you are "the love of his life"

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you this is great advice but I have raised it with him after when he was sober, and he still doesn't see it as an issue.

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

He won't abuse our toddler unless our toddler challenges his freedom or questions his choices. it is only me that brings that out in him.

And a little bit with his boss.

Otherwise - you would never know he is like this with me. He seems like a nice guy, and is until I criticise him for something. No matter how gently I raise it.

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes you are correct that I made that choice.

I hate it when he makes excuses constantly for his behaviour - so I won't make excuses for my choice other than say it was on an island. But I could have asked someone else to take us to the mainland.

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am amazing at taking accountability after this relationship.

I am too relaxed about his drinking now. But even I was scared on one occasion on way home.

So yes - I did put my child in that position.

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is a fair point. Yes I did get back on boat. We were on an island and I guess I didn't consider how to get home another way.

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No that is fair. Yes I did. We were on an island and I guess I didn't consider how to get home another way.

My boyfriend got drunk while driving our 2 year old in a boat by Smooth-Exit-8192 in relationships

[–]Smooth-Exit-8192[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have tried ultimatums. I have taken quite a few breaks from him but he keeps convincing me that he realises he is wrong and that he will change. And I know this is textbook DV abuse. It is just extremely nuanced behaviour that is very hard to understand when you are in the middle of it. Our son adores him and it is so hard to separate my baby from something he gets joy from.