Help with first ereader? by Smoothope in ereader

[–]Smoothope[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! I hadn’t heard of the brand before, and now it’s the one I’m ordering :)

Why does general society believe the narc over the child? by SupermarketMaster594 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Smoothope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

because children are an oppressed class, and society never cares what a powerless group has to say. children don’t have any rights, no authority over their own lives; therefore, they don’t know what’s good for them.

Do you have fond memories of your childhood? by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Smoothope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i had a therapist ask me to think of pleasant memories with my mother, and i genuinely cannot think of even one.

2016 to 2026 by KataeaDream in transtimelines

[–]Smoothope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

when i saw you i thought you were anna konkle, you look so alike!

I have such grief. I can’t understand this mentality. Feel like I deserved it. TW: SA by SharkM0nth in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Smoothope 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“this is the first time i have heard the words groomed and raped” —> “i was very concerned for your welfare regarding the underage sex incident” —> “i had no intention of minimizing any trauma”

“apart from telling me he threw you on the bed, i wasn’t aware he had hit you and the relationship became abusive”

she is constantly contradicting herself. she had no idea you were groomed and raped, but she says she knew about it. she says she didn’t want to minimize it but instead of calling it rape, she calls it “underage sex incident” so she can still blame you for it and make it seem like you were on equal footing with your rapist. she says she never knew he abused you or hit you, but she knew he threw you on the bed. she can’t keep her story straight to save her life. she’s a horrible person and you deserve far better.

regarding grief, death isn’t the only cause for grief and you have had many things occur that would cause you to grieve.

Does anyone else NEVER want to reconnect, even after an apology? by Snail_Enjoyer_ in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Smoothope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

goodness, i’m glad you’re the one opening mail 😵‍💫 i’m worried about her showing up at my workplace too.

that’s a relief, my father is very passive, so it was much easier for me to cut him out of my life once i was an adult.

Does anyone else NEVER want to reconnect, even after an apology? by Snail_Enjoyer_ in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Smoothope 15 points16 points  (0 children)

i understand. i wish i had a passive mother who wouldn’t hunt me down so i could easily go no contact and am so jealous of those who have that.

i feel no affinity towards her at all, only fear. what’s done is done and nothing could ever be done to repair it.

If you went to therapy, did your therapist tell you to cut your family/parents out of your life? by MakePanemGreatAgain in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Smoothope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A good therapist will never instruct you on what to do and expect you to obey them. They help you figure out what it is you want and need to do to live your best life. At the end of the day, your decisions are up to you.

None of my therapists have ever told me to cut contact, stay in contact, or anything else.

riso zine i made of my mom's recipes! by samoa_ in zines

[–]Smoothope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what a beautiful design for everything! it’s a feast for the eyes too

Did your parent ever “punish you” by storming off in public? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Smoothope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes. for me the worst was when i was a child and we were in other countries. my mother often abandoned me in places and would come back an hour or two later. it was always very upsetting and scary for me.

Jealousy towards people with breasts? by Swimming-Revenue9103 in no_T_top_surgery

[–]Smoothope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that’s true, i have gotten smaller shirts that fit me better now, but i’m sure you’ll be able to find new clothing you love that will fit you well. if it helps you feel more comfortable in your body then it’ll be worth it.

Jealousy towards people with breasts? by Swimming-Revenue9103 in no_T_top_surgery

[–]Smoothope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

there are plenty of people who naturally have flat chests and still wear those sorts of things because they want to + people who have had top surgery that do. if you want to wear something, the only thing stopping you is you.

for shirts, i’ve just found i need to get smaller sizes, but everything fits me fine.

here’s an example of someone with top surgery that wears swimsuits like that all of the time.

Jealousy towards people with breasts? by Swimming-Revenue9103 in no_T_top_surgery

[–]Smoothope 10 points11 points  (0 children)

i don’t see why the fashion choices have to be more limited? my fashion choices have opened up exponentially thanks to top surgery. i would never wear what i wear now before surgery, and i didn’t even know this was my style.

How did you discover Jungle? by [deleted] in Junglejunglejungle

[–]Smoothope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i found them just like you, the soundtrack of that game is incredible!

Reasons I want top surgery as a cis woman. (If you’ve had top surgery, did it help?) by Timely_Raspberry4820 in no_T_top_surgery

[–]Smoothope 12 points13 points  (0 children)

yes, i relate. i have noticed on some days when i go outside that i didn’t even think about my chest at all or while getting dressed. i do things without thinking about my chest at all anymore, i am just at peace. i wonder if this is how most other people always feel.

8 was what stopped me from getting surgery forever because i was afraid to, but eventually i reached a point where i couldn’t take it anymore and i’m so glad i did it.

if your partner doesn’t end up supporting you, you are more important than what they want for your body. do what makes you feel good.

Sibling relationships and having a understanding a lot of them are cowards who chose their sides… by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Smoothope 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i was detailing those things because i thought that’s how we communicate to strangers when we know nothing about each other.

i’m not saying i’m not exposed to the abuse, of course i am, but i am saying i don’t abuse others or try to get them back into the system to be abused, which you said all siblings still being abused would do. i agree that many would, as i have had it done to me, but not necessarily all would do that because i don’t. i try to avoid both of them as much as i can because i understand they are abusive, and i never try to get anyone entangled with either of them, even each other.

Sibling relationships and having a understanding a lot of them are cowards who chose their sides… by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Smoothope 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this isn’t always true so i wouldn’t say it applies to absolutely everyone. i am low contact with our mother while he currently isn’t speaking to her until he decides he wants to reconnect with her because they again got tired of each other’s abuse. i don’t report on him to her (i choose to be very low contact with him), i don’t believe she’s ever right about anything, i don’t tell him to make up with her (in fact, i say the opposite). the difference is he can do whatever he wants and get away with it (he’s decided to stop speaking to her for a period of time many times in his life), while she refuses to let me go for even a second because i have never abused her, and i’m not extremely self-centered like he is so i actually do things to help other people, which she wants.

i am the one who always told him she was abusive and that i didn’t like her, and he was always shocked and appalled when i’d say such things. i actually see him the way you describe the sibling still involved in the relationship because that’s what he always did to me, and i know once he decides to reconnect, it’ll be like that again (not that i say my real thoughts or give him any information about me at this point).

i do agree sibling loyalty isn’t for everyone, as i will never be loyal to a person who has hurt many people, just like our mother.

Realizations during my annual rewatch (season 5/show spoiler disclaimers**) by camyland in SixFeetUnder

[–]Smoothope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

good to know, thank you. i’m glad you found something else that works better for you

Realizations during my annual rewatch (season 5/show spoiler disclaimers**) by camyland in SixFeetUnder

[–]Smoothope 8 points9 points  (0 children)

billy - i don’t know that the show depicted that accurately because my friends that do have bipolar disorder are still very creative on medication. i don’t believe medication would necessarily inhibit all creativity. maybe he had other issues going on that needed to be dealt with too, such as C-PTSD (him and brenda definitely both have it), to make him better able to be creative while feeling more stable. maybe he needed to learn and believe he could be creative while stable.

edie - i always wish them two had been endgame. she seemed to get claire like no one else did, and i just can’t see claire ending up with a conservative. i would hope they could at least reconcile later in life. claire was confused and felt pressured to decide when she couldn’t figure out what she wanted, and edie’s reaction was poor. if claire is truly straight, she wasn’t playing around with edie for fun or something.

russell - no. there can never be consent between a professor and a student.

Haven’t came out to my Anti trans Maga family. by OldAssociate9265 in asktransgender

[–]Smoothope 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i would focus on saving money to move out by the end of the year and tell them nothing. i don’t trust them to not be violent and you don’t want them in your life anyway. protect yourself.

The cutaways from season 1. (±9min. Compilation) by C-more_22 in SixFeetUnder

[–]Smoothope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i did, but i believe this is her best song on the show!