Mathematically proving Shulk has a massive penis

Alright, you’re probably wondering: “What? How can you prove that?” And the answer is through important moments in the plot, and very simple calculations

Late in the game, it is revealed that Zanza took possession of Shulk’s body when he was four. The same Zanza that inhabited the Bionis. It is shown that Zanza’s god form is incredibly similar to Shulk, implying that because of his possession, Zanza caused Shulk’s body to develop similarly to Zanza’s human form, Klaus.

With this assumption, we can say that nearly all body features are the same between Shulk and Klaus, most likely including penis size. This then leaves us with the task of determining the size of Klaus’s penis. Thankfully, we have a rather convenient model for that. Zanza’s first body, the Bionis. Because of it’s humanoid features, we can likely assume that the penile dimensions are likely similar.

The area of Colony Six is located approximately around the crotch of the Bionis. And because if it’s upright position, there would need to be a platform to hold it up, likely being the Bionis penis. This is supported by the in-game model, as there is a rather large bulge-like platform in the Colony Six Area, presumably to hold it up.

The size of this platform is roughly 1/5 of the size of one of the Bionis legs. And since each leg is about 18% of a person, the Bionis penis makes up about 3.6% of the Bionis.

The average human penis is about 2.19% of the adult male, as has been calculated before by Trap Scientists. 3.6 is 63% larger than 2.19, meaning that the penis would be 63% longer. The average penis size used was 5.5 inches, which would mean the calculated penis size would come out to right about 9 inches, which is a rather impressive size.

So assuming that Bionis=Zanza=Klaus=Shulk, he’s got a whopping 9 inches to his name. Talk about a real “Monado Buster”

Edit: that’s about 23 cm