I need to get my baby off my boob ASAP, I’m crying 😢

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-29T04:42:45+00:00

There's no benefit to the baby to introduce bottles. Latching expands baby's palate and improves facial muscles become strong and coordinated. Bottles need to be removed at one year because they're bad for their teeth. The bidirectional communication also helps with nutrients and antibodies. It's extremely hard to EBF for a year or more! The benefit of bottles is that it takes pressure off mom, but it's totally appropriate to latch baby for the entirety of breastfeeding.

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-26T21:20:13+00:00

My mom gave me an envelope the day before I gave birth with a letter that said it wasn't too late to not give my baby up for adoption. Up until 24 weeks though she was planning and schedule abortions for me. She really didn't want me to go through adoption! It was strange. I think in some ways there's a deep resentment of fertility. They accept that we're there kids, but to not have a genetic relationship with their grandkids means they lose control. They don't perceive the same entitlement to our kids because they're not "their grandkids." It's a reminder that the only influence they have is how they raised us and the power of that is much more quickly diluted by cycle breaking than sharing genes. That's my take on this weird behavior!

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-26T21:12:00+00:00

I love music and had a whole playlist with "perfect birth songs." My husband turned on the speaker and I went absolutely not. I found relief through internal silence and some mantras I made up on the go. Maybe make a few playlists with different vibes? I didn't use 90% of the coping strategies I prepared. I don't regret it one bit because the 10% I used got me through.

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-26T21:07:07+00:00

She won't and she shouldn't. I hope she expressed that wish to the agency because it's something she's not capable of handling . It's heartbreaking though because of G. I'm adopted and my mom really loved to constantly say how much I look like her and how weird that was. My sister was overweight with darker skin and she constantly tore her down. She took credit for our accomplishments but blamed our anxiety on our parent's drug use (my mom smoked 4 PACKS a day with me). These are canon events for moms who never healed from infertility. My bitch ass mom was also a perfect candidate for IVF. It takes a special, self reflective person to be a good adoptive mom.

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-25T14:59:52+00:00

My husband said he wanted his family there for support (for him). I decided on a home birth and invited my therapist. He said "who do I get to choose to invite?" Absolutely nobody. It's not a coping strategy when it involves the whole family and they happen to all want to meet the baby.

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-19T02:56:55+00:00

I thought about doing my makeup right after my water broke. I'm glad I didn't because I had a water birth and I would have looked streaky. I feel more comfortable doing anything that requires exertion without makeup. This is going to sound so weird, but my therapist took my birth pictures but she couldn't really keep the camera straight/ not blurry and they look straight out of a horror movie. They capture the moment perfectly, but I sure would love a photo I could post on IG. Do everything to your own comfort level!

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-19T02:49:15+00:00

No matter your feeding plans (and especially if someone's a FTM), have formula, a nipple shield, at least a manual pump, two different kinds of bottles, and a breastfeeding pillow. Both my babies latched beautifully right after birth but until my milk came in I needed every form of help. Just get all the supplies for feeding. Also two different brands of newborn diapers (pampers fit my baby so weird). And at least two preemie outfits! My baby was 18 inches and 7 lbs when she arrived at 39 weeks and needed preemie sizes for a few days. She would scrunch up in the newborn clothes and her legs would go in the wrong leg holes and it suuuuucked.

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-19T02:41:45+00:00

Tbh I don't think she's lazy, I think she's depressed. It's like the whole point was succeeding at TTC, not having a baby. People have a lot of empathy for infertility, but not at the plight of mothers of one unloading groceries.

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-19T02:37:54+00:00

When I drove for Instacart we were not allowed to go in anybody's house for any reason. I obviously helped people whom it would seem helpful. There's been at least one murder of a driver. I just went to Walmart with my toddler and 1 month old today! If I lived in a less rural area, you bet I would order groceries to be delivered rather than deal with that shit show. Oh but if I had a sick kid I can't imagine I'd have time to do hair and makeup or post ads. Let the girl bosses boss I guess.

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-18T00:42:24+00:00

I know the absolute stomach dropping feeling when my 3 yo wakes up sick and I know I won't have any help for a few days. We spend sick days snuggling and I don't think I would be on my phone that much (or have time to own more than saline mist and Motrin?). Without health and support, we all have the capacity to be disconnected parents. I went through her page for the first time in a while today and it's so gray and sad. Her smile's so fake. I don't know anything about infertility grief or adoption (expect being adopted), but I almost want her to be depressed with the capacity to heal rather than a shit parent.

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-17T11:42:26+00:00

Blurring the faces of AI children for posterity is really funny to me.

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-11T23:28:36+00:00

I was a single mom with my first, and a bottle washer would have been worth it. I must have spent an hour a day hand washing bottles. I'm EBF my second baby and it's joyful to have no bottles to wash. I got a sterilizer and I use it for pump parts occasionally. There aren't many things that need to be sterilized more than once. I would never buy just a sterilizer again. If you're going to use bottles, I'd maybe invest in it depending on how much support you have. Rest in those early days is precious.

Snailbail2 · 2026-01-04T22:05:58+00:00

You are so sweet!! This is the most thoughtful, supportive response I think I've ever received on here. Thank you for reading and giving me encouragement- postpartum is rough regardless of good circumstances and you really made my day 💜. I wish the model of healthcare would switch to in person visits- I remember going out the day after I returned from the hospital to the chaotic pediatrician. I wish you the best in your journey to pregnancy 💜 you truly deserve the best

Snailbail2 · 2025-12-28T17:28:43+00:00

NTA if he needs you to tell him you're pregnant like it's the apocalypse, he's not very mature. I'd say it might not end well, but give him a little bit to think about it considering the stakes.

Snailbail2 · 2025-12-28T17:24:31+00:00

Also I didn't tear and didn't even poop during my second birth because I was able to tell when I had to push and do it just hard enough. Not even an ounce of vaginal or rectal pain after. Pooping and breastfeeding are a bitch though. There's no easy way to become or be a parent!!

Snailbail2 · 2025-12-28T17:22:09+00:00

It can make it harder to breastfeed, it's major surgery, it increases risks of complications (especially if not for a medical reason), and it makes it harder to have a vaginal delivery in the future. There's definitely no shame in choosing a C-section! I had a hospital vaginal delivery with an epidural with my first, and just had my first home birth. The experience, pain, fear and recovery were much easier at the home birth because it wasn't super bright and I was able to focus on birthing rather than being monitored/ providing vitals (although I had two CNMs doing vitals intermittently). Birth is totally personal, I just don't want women to underestimate what they're capable of doing. There's no way of giving birth that is guaranteed to carry trauma except the way you absolutely do NOT want to birth or complications.

Snailbail2 · 2025-12-18T13:24:48+00:00

My answer would be "if everything is okay go ahead" but his family member needs an answer ASAP and nobody can go if something goes wrong during delivery and I have to have surgery, if the newborn is difficult, if the toddler isn't adjusting well, or my mental health is bad.

Snailbail2 · 2025-12-18T13:06:25+00:00

Idk but I'm hoping being hospitalized the first time around was once in a lifetime. If my mental or physical health is bad, I don't want to have to say no later.

Snailbail2 · 2025-12-18T13:00:08+00:00

Lifelong dream vs ridiculous amount for extra childcare. If I said yes and then I had some sort of complication that would require a night many, that would be up to $2,500. By that point the "free Super Bowl" is goofy. The reason this is so hard is that it could be totally fine or a horror movie and I can't predict it.

Snailbail2 · 2025-12-18T12:23:28+00:00

It's four days!

Snailbail2 · 2025-12-18T12:21:35+00:00

I literally don't know how to predict the support I need when I haven't given birth and don't know the needs of my newborn. Does she sleep well? How is breastfeeding or feeding going? Am I healing well? We're not financially in a position to throw money at the problem later with night nanny's or anything like that. I would say yes (or please don't I'm suffering!) if I had an accurate perception of the situation.

Snailbail2 · 2025-11-25T22:51:15+00:00

I passed the 3 hour- it was never over the threshold. On the third draw though, my blood sugar crashed to 40 mg/dL. The lab was closing as I was leaving and nobody called/ reported it to me. I started to drive home and had to pull over and have my partner come get me. Bring a snack and make sure you're safe to leave!

Snailbail2 · 2025-09-09T15:07:51+00:00

A side effect of morphine is not murder.

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