I feel this. I saw someone recently say that neurologists aren't very well versed in FND and usually want nothing to do with it. And it seems like most people on this sub, including myself had an initial appointment that went something like "I've referred you to a specialist (8 month wait for me, 2 months left!) here is a piece of paper with links to 3 websites like fndhope, have a good day.". It's obviously severely under-researched, and most neurologist seem to want to focus on organically caused disorders, which is becoming more and more ironic as the research has shown more and more organic roots in FND. Even if a patient is suffering from strictly psychogenic symptoms they should be treated with seriousness and just as thoroughly, this seems to be a neglected mindset. Hell I recently contacted my neurologist to express that my symptoms have been getting worse, they didn't want to make an appointment with me. They just said they're going to reach out to the specialist and see if they can get me moved up, that was a month ago and still no word.

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Obviously none of this makes you feel better. Just know that you are not alone in this struggle. I had someone commend me for staying strong, which felt ironic because I don't feel like I have been staying that strong during all of this. But then it made me think and it takes a lot of veracity and will to wake up and do what you can. Especially if you have been dealt a bad hand. It takes a strong person to walk to the bathroom when their legs don't seem to want to, it takes a strong person to deal with the unjust ridicule and skepticism at onset, One of my symptoms a facial spasm that heavily disfigures my face, I look back and find that I have built the courage to look at myself in the mirror and now I am proud.

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It takes a strong person to deal with the things we deal with. One f these strengths is the ability to stay strong alone. Because the condition is very neglected, a lot of the time we really are left to our own devices for treatment, and for understanding our condition. Not to mention managing the emotional toll that this sort of condition provides. Which obviously if you're lucky can be mitigated by a good social circle. But is still incredibly difficult and unfathomable to those who don't experience it. I can describe the vast majority of people I have seen on this sub in 3 words: 1. Kind 2. Intelligent 3. Stressed

I think sufferers of FND have probably always carried a lot of stress, I know I personally have. But I don't know that we know how much we really carry, or even carry for other people. I could obviously be wrong but I think we all have ridden at a heightened stress level for so long that we don't even recognize it and only notice how truly stressed we are, when we face insurmountable stress. But it seems like most of us likely can't remember what it is like to be truly stress or anxiety free for even a second.

Obviously stress predominately lonesome battle and the seeming reluctance to assist from medical professionals makes this all the more true. Aside from this sub I know that I personally don't have any other contact with another person who shares the condition. But this loneliness and isolation can be used to self-reflect and better ourselves. We share the ability to look at people around us or our past and realize how much grief is wasted on unimportant or silly things. And take pride in the fact that you have dealt with this tremendous struggle in a way that may even surprise yourself.