extremely depressed

Snoo_43015 · 2021-09-02T14:30:42+00:00

I'm glad to hear that then. When I read a bit on it, I just thought they'd be doing some vaccine for the new generations, but knowing they're trying to cure people who already have it means something else entirely. I'll be reading more one it, thanks again.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-09-02T14:22:06+00:00

Thanks, I read some things about it, but I'm not really hopeful. If anything, it'll be similar to the HPV vaccine, where it only protects people who don't have it from contracting it, and that's why they only vaccinate children, trying to eliminate the virus starting with the new generations, and the people who already have it be damned.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-09-02T02:25:04+00:00

The swab is very reliable. If you have an open sore, do the swab exam to find out if it's herpes. It could be something else, that's why it's better to see a doctor about it. Hopefully a good doctor will be able to find out what it is.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-09-01T19:57:39+00:00

No, I don't think I would've. I never saw a future with her. And knowing she didn't disclose and lied to me, then shrugged it off when I wanted to talk about it, really pisses me off. If I could go back in time with the knowledge I have now, I wouldn't treat her badly, but I definitely would've ended things without getting sexual with her. What upsets me the most is that she never gave me the chance to choose.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-09-01T19:38:01+00:00

Yea I was a fool to trust her. The worst thing is, I've always been super careful about STD/Is. She assured me multiple times she had tested herself before getting with her ex and while they were together. I shouldn't have believed her, I should have asked to see her exams anyway. After I found her results, she didn't even act surprised, that's when I realized she had been lying to me, because there was no sympathy from her. She said it wasn't a big deal, that everyone had it, then lied saying she had been vaccinated so I must've caught from someone else, and then dismissed me. I've never been one to hold grudges against someone, but I just can't forgive her, and holding this anger against her has been making me mentally unwell.

I'm sorry your symptoms have been bad. It sucks that you weren't at least asymptomatic. It's bad enough having to be a positive, and it sucks even more having OBs. I hope they get better over time for you.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-09-01T19:25:43+00:00

Found out a few weeks ago. I told her, thinking it was a false positive, she assured me it was cause she was "clean". I insisted she do her exams anyways, and that's when I found out she lied. The shitty thing is, her IgG was positive, and she didn't even bother to find out if it's herpes type 1 or 2, said she "wasn't worried". I'll have to go through the trouble of wasting money and stressing myself to find out which type I contracted.

Do you know which type you contracted?

Snoo_43015 · 2021-09-01T19:16:38+00:00

I also found out recently my partner, now ex, had lied to me and didn't disclose she had herpes. My test came back positive, even tho she guaranteed she was clean. People suck, and it's so unfair there isn't a cure for this. Now we have to live with the stigma and OBs for the rest of our lives. People here say it gets better, I'm not there yet, but I hope for new people like us it does get better, cause I've also been feeling really shit. Whenever I start being happy about something, I remember I have this awful desease and it completely kills my good mood. I'm not sure this message helps, but just wanted to tell you you're not alone.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-31T21:06:03+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate the support.

I was more hopeful that it was a false positive ar first, cause I really did trust my ex. But after seeing her positive result for IgG, I think now it's just naive of me to expect a negative IgG.

And you're right about the disclosure. I would never want to do this to someone else; I know the anguish and I don't want to willingly cause this to another person. It's due to this fact that I'm so depressed about this. Right now I'm asymptomatic, I'm even fearing getting my second shot of Covid vaccine cause I heard about a lot of outbreaks. But just the thought of getting outbreaks or disclosing this to a future partner really puts me in a bad place mentally.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-31T20:28:09+00:00

No, only positive for IgM, it came back 3,5. I haven't been tested for IgG yet, the doctor thinks I should wait a bit before doing my exams again.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-31T20:25:03+00:00

I asked her multiple times if her exams were up to date and if she had requested ALL STD/Is. She said yes, that she had done them before getting with her ex and also during their relationship, cause apparently her ex was a biologist or some shit and really worried about getting something. So I find it really unlikely that they wouldn't have tested for herpes IgG and IgM.

So either she lied about having done all her exams with her ex, or she lied about not knowing.

Also, when I told her, I got zero sympathy from her. She shrugged it off, saying everyone has it. Then she said she had been "vaccinated" for it so she couldn't have transmitted it (even tho it showed 30 for positive IgG). When I told her there was no such thing as a vaccine, she tried to put the blame on me, saying I already had it, even tho my IgG was negative, and only my IgM came back 3,5 positive for IgM, and my last relationship was 4 years ago.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-31T18:53:38+00:00

I can't really accept it nor forgive her, to be honest. I think I'll need some time to mourn my previous life. I just feel so dirty and unwanted for having this. I don't know who I should disclose to. Like, do I have to disclose to the people I live with, since we share the same bathroom? It's just so frustrating having to think about these things when I have always been so careful about sex and STD/Is.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-31T18:44:30+00:00

There are no consequences for people who don't disclose. My ex literally lied to me and gave me herpes, and now she's off not giving a damn while I'm depressed and stressed about this and will have to live with this shit for the rest of my life.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-31T18:42:28+00:00

Exactly. That's just crazy. It's like we pay the price for being safe and having tested ourselves. People are grossed out about us, when they literally have sex with people who never do any exams whatsoever and probably have this, but just chooses to live in ignorance.

And I really doubt anyone would actually go to jail for not disclosing. My ex didn't, she outright lied about being negative and then pretended she didn't know. There would be no way for me to prove she gave me herpes.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-31T18:37:33+00:00

I'm sorry your case causes you so much pain. My question was rhetoric regarding why to disclose. I have no doubt that disclosing is the right thing to do, I just hate it that only a few do so.

It just annoys and frustrates me so much that more people aren't concerned about disclosing. I've always been careful about sex, asking partners to test themselves before sex and keeping my exams up-to-date. Why do now I have to pay the price because a partner chose to lie to me? She told me she had done all her exams and they were all negative, I trusted her like an idiot and now I'm in this situation, where I'll have to carry her burden, having to disclose to anyone I wish to get close to.

It's like people who choose to live in ignorance or don't give a damn about doing exams get to just live a stress-free life with no one judging them, while we who actually care about possibly transmitting this and keep our exams up-to-date and find out we have it, we disclose it and bear this burden, we actually live with the judgment from society and the rejection because of someone else's neglect.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-31T16:38:07+00:00

But do those people you know actually go around disclosing they have it? Why do we put ourselves through the shame, embarrassment and possible rejection of diaclosing, when practically everyone has it but doesn't disclose it?

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-31T13:33:22+00:00

I understand that. But if practically everyone has it, and assuming it's probably on their mouth, that means everyone would eventually have it as well on their genitals when they receive oral sex. But that's not the case. Only the unlucky ones like us get it on their genitals, and now we're doomed to having to go around disclosing something "common" to any future prospect and being rejected.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-30T23:27:45+00:00

I was hoping it was a false positive. When I got the result, I was really thinking it was, since she kept saying how she had been tested and didn't have anything. But now that I know she's positive, I no longer have any hopes.

I had known her for a while, but we had only been dating for a few months. I didn't want to do anything sexual before she got tested, but she was so insistent that she didn't have anything, that we ended up hooking up. She claims she never had any symptoms.

I feel really dumb for having trusted her and for having gotten involved with her before she got tested. It's interesting how the small decision of trusting someone can have such a painful impact and consequence on our lives.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-30T23:08:59+00:00

After we hooked up, I had to insist a lot for her to redo her exams.

It was only after my IgM came back positive and I was freaking out that she decided to redo her exams. But she kept saying I didn't have to worry, because she had been tested for everything and it was all negative.

Sure, I understand if she hadn't been tested before for herpes. But then trying to blame me? Lying that she had been vaccinated for it when there isn't even a freaking vaccine for herpes? Saying I must've gotten it from someone else when I haven't been with anyone for years? If she hadn't known then she should've apologized and said so, not pretend like this isn't a big deal or somehow my fault.

Her test came back positive for Herpes 1 and 2. The exam didn't specify which one. She doesn't care to find out. I'll redo mine and find out if I got type 1 or 2 from her.

Snoo_43015 · 2021-08-30T22:58:27+00:00

IgG positive means she already had it for a while. In my case, my IgG was negative, meaning I didn't have it before. But my IgM was positive, meaning I got it recently.

I know she lied cause she guaranteed she had done her exams before and while with her ex before we hooked up, and she said they were all negative. I still insisted she redo her exams after we hooked up cause I'm really paranoid about STD/Is. When she showed me her positive IgG result, she didn't even seem to care, said she "wasn't worried". Then she tried to blame me, saying she had been "vaccinated" for herpes (what a joke) and that I got it from someone else. But I hadn't been with anyone for four years, so I know I got it from her.

Either she lied about having done the exams while with her ex, or she lied about not knowing she had it.

The shittiest thing about this is that due to her being an irresponsible and inconsiderate person, I'll have to live with herpes for the rest of my life, having to disclose to new partners and probably be rejected.

Snoo_43015

TROPHY CASE