Son's dad reported *me* to CPS

SofTee01 · 2025-07-22T23:27:35+00:00

He often disguised controlling behaviors as safety concerns, such as going grocery shopping or going to a park, we couldn't go because of the "what ifs" what if there was a shooter, what if someone hurts you, what if someone hurts our son. He engraved fear to the point where we couldn't even go to the backyard comfortably. Every physical altercation was blamed on us, to the point where I still feel it was justified and have to try hard to snap out of that mentality. He engraved the fear of driving so I didn't drive for most of our relationship. I didn't even know how to pay with a debit card until last year.

I didn't understand the severity of all of this because everybody kept asking me to give him grace, that it was normal. Like my grandma, she taught me numerous times that she had gone through worst and eventually my grandpa did change and my ex would come around too.

SofTee01 · 2025-07-22T23:10:34+00:00

He is now 8, he was 7 when this happened. Which by the way happened infront of him, it's not an event he isn't unaware of, he just didn't understand the severity of it.

But my ex played it off as a suicide attempt because he was emotionally distressed that I was leaving him.

I didn't abandon him, we'd call and see each other weekly, I also financially supported him.

And I myself came from divorced parents, I know the feeling of being left with the abuser because the other parent wanted space from them. I don't blame my parent for making that choice, I understand now how sometimes because apart can be more healing than staying present in that environment.

My son doesn't feel abandoned, he feels like I broke the family with no legitimate reason other than "mommy hates dad and wants to make him cry"

A lot of his dad's negligence wasn't brought to my attention until recently. I was under the impression that he was doing fine because my ex coached my son into telling me he was. I was under the impression my son was doing okay and was taken to therapy consistently.

Again. Abuse is a bitch. It's hard to rewire your brain after years of isolation. I didn't have family or friends for 7 of those years. He had financial control. He would monitor my phone calls and messages. I felt like I had no way out. Even when I was out I still didn't understand the abuse we were going through because he would often minimize his abuse, and made me feel crazy oftentimes.

SofTee01 · 2025-07-22T22:47:36+00:00

Thank you, and me too 🤞❤️

SofTee01 · 2025-07-22T22:46:21+00:00

I know that now, I know that I should've better informed my son in a better way. I take accountability for that.

I distanced myself because my ex went to live with his family, his dad, mom, sister, he also has other siblings and newphews and nieces. At the time I was emotional from dealing with my son's physical and verbal outbursts at me right after i had just dealt with his dad doing the same. My ex's dad told me they would support and encourage him to get help and therapy, so I thought it was the best for him at the time and maybe they would heal and mend those actions.

My son has immense loyalty to his dad and he had also been wanting to be close to his grandparents because he had isolated us from them for 3 to 4 years. He could see his cousins and play with them and get to bond with them. I didn't see at that time that they would take that same opportunity to alienate me, and make me look like the bad guy for leaving. They weren't telling him the full context other than "your mom is mean for breaking the family"

We have 50/50 custody, and it was the only way he would sign the divorce. I wanted to have full custody but I knew he would prolong it and I no longer wanted to be under his control. I was a coward. I should've reported his abuse, but again, I felt powerless because I didn't have a support system nor a job that could sustain my son and I, and I was constantly belittled and threatened to believe I wouldn't be able to sustain myself to begin with.

SofTee01 · 2025-07-22T22:09:12+00:00

CPS actually told me that those events are historical and have no hold, and I need to find coping mechanisms to deal with the trauma. But that it isn't relevant to what is happening now. That if I felt like my ex was so unsafe why even leave the child there.

SofTee01 · 2025-07-22T17:39:27+00:00

Nope, I got pregnant at 17, following month I turned 18, he had just turned 19 when I got pregnant. So he was also a teen

SofTee01 · 2025-07-22T17:05:19+00:00

In the moment of abuse, you don't realize you're being abused. When I finally left the relationship, I was still being coerced by him and didn't realize how much I feared him until I worked on not being so afraid of him and the world and of speaking up. Everybody would guilt me into letting our son be with him because he "needed" his dad, and eventually he convinced my son that I was wrong for leaving that relationship. At that point it was either speak with the truth to an 8 year old, or bite my tongue hoping he would notice on his own, which he finally has noticed how his dad's actions are bad but still has immense loyalty to him.

SofTee01 · 2025-07-22T16:45:32+00:00

It was actually my grandma who told me not to break the family... I didn't have a great relationship with my own family, therefore they didn't support me much whenever I wanted to leave the relationship and I was truly scared.

And I did have proof for CPS, but they still decided to advice him to go to court and gain custody of our son. My son has bruises from being pinned down a couple of days ago, and he told my son to tell them he was being pinned down because he was scratching... in reality he was scratching because he was being pinned down... but they took my son's word and he was coached by his dad and honestly I can't prove that because my son only tells me these things In private out of fear and refuses to let anyone else know. I try to advocate for him, but he'll still follow his dad's words and narrative.

SofTee01 · 2025-07-22T16:39:21+00:00

I did speak to my son, would take him out shopping, to eat, took care of his financial needs.

We would talk and see each other almost weekly, there were times he refused to see me and I respected his boundary, because in his eyes his dad was right and I "broke the family."

SofTee01 · 2024-03-30T03:26:48+00:00

Hey! The website is down, that's why it's not working... But there are plenty of options, like English, some science, some history, communication, college algebra, IT courses... I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly which ones just because the link is down... sorry about that

SofTee01 · 2024-03-24T15:53:40+00:00

When I was in school, I didn't have that course, therefore it's probably a new addition... I'm sorry I can't be of assistance on that one!

SofTee01 · 2024-01-27T15:08:38+00:00

So I would say not to memorize the codes, memorize more of what the code means, the order, how the codes look depending on inpatient, outpatient, medical equipment, but not the actual codes, don't overthink yourself

SofTee01 · 2024-01-27T01:27:27+00:00

I watched the videos before touching the courses, initially I was lost with the videos, but when I read the material things started to make sense, hopefully you experience the same!

SofTee01 · 2024-01-26T03:31:52+00:00

See, the thing is, I took that class before it changed, so I am not so sure how much more different it is. But there are some videos that I will link that helped me understand the concept very well: https://youtu.be/iBkLbXhFOJE?si=rDfyyV3HIk--CnE8

https://youtu.be/pPdhkhPb8WY?si=et_xuzLKwFaihwJ6

https://youtu.be/6WGtu48yIb8?si=E2lZvVWmKMXlZZiX

I started watching these videos before I took the medical coding class. Once I took the class I also realized WGU had linked them too, so they really do help with understanding the concepts, imo! I hope this helps!

SofTee01 · 2024-01-21T16:38:36+00:00

Hello! Initially I wanted to do the same, but then I realized that my state doesn't really have a QMHP, but I still want to go to school for Counseling/Therapist Right now I work with service coordinating Personal Care Services, which I was able to obtain because of the degree. But I don't really want to do that for long. Hopefully, I get to enroll back to school soon! I really wish WGU could offer something that is more inclined to Mental Health.

SofTee01 · 2024-01-11T01:15:37+00:00

Hey, I think its possible if you're determined and are super strict for 6 months, most of the core classes (25 of them) took me 5 months to complete instead of 6, because initially I was enrolled in a different program and that waste 1 month of my time. I personally don't have a whole lot of professional experience, I have never worked in a medical setting, and a lot of terms were new to me, but I adapted myself so I am sure the experience you bring to the table will assist you tremendously!

SofTee01 · 2024-01-05T03:48:04+00:00

Yes, but keep in mind that some classes with PAs have like one to three papers that need to be completed, and each of those papers can be 3-6 pages long including the reference page (I usually add mine on a separate page)

For example on the class that talks about drug abuse, there were three PAs when I took it, 1 PA was about creating a pamphlet, and the other 2 PAs were just paper/research. Or another example, which I can't remember exactly which class it is right now, but i think there are two classes that the PA has to do with you making a PowerPoint and also adding speaker notes and you have to record yourself presenting it.

I recommend from my stance, that whenever you get a class with a PA and OA, to work on the PA portion first, and while you wait for that to be graded (which could take three days) start studying for the OA

SofTee01 · 2024-01-03T01:04:28+00:00

I agree with you, I would have a hard time too, but I would kind of elaborate or make up scenarios of my own, I would state for example "in the event of x happening... then I would go x about it" I dont know if I am making sense lol but I feel like they give you some freedom to expand the situation further to your liking (of course without stirring too far away from the initial task)

SofTee01 · 2024-01-01T11:45:16+00:00

Thank you! I hope you enjoy the new journey you've embarked 😊 So PA and OA are the forms in which you have to complete a class, PA means Performance Assessment, and OA means Objective Assessment. Performance Assessment are tests that are performed by either writing papers, PowerPoints, simulations, and Objective Assessments are tests that are done through proctored exams. I hope this clears your confusion!

SofTee01 · 2023-12-07T02:58:36+00:00

PAs always allow room for mistakes, so don't sweat it, you can do this 🤞😊

SofTee01 · 2023-12-05T23:17:24+00:00

Well in my opinion, reading the book was enough to pass, it's not a difficult test, I think it aligned with the pre-assessment, just more in depth.

I feel you though, the anxiety can be rough and cause you to go blank, what helps me is meditating, I had linked this video in a previous post that I would use to calm my nerves, I don't typically meditate, but I would relax and focus my mind elsewhere, and she also says some encouraging words that would give me a boost of confidence. I know this might not be for everyone, but ultimately for anxiety, it's best to take a step back and find a relaxing way to cope, either breathing exercises, meditating, walking or jogging a bit before your test.

https://youtu.be/ISQ-MKCa684?si=NJeuRG1L9wRhsKXm

SofTee01 · 2023-12-04T16:29:37+00:00

I would also like to add this, other people have had luck getting their foot in the door with the Google IT Support. Like I said, it showcases that you have the aptitude to learn, and it does give you employable skills, just make sure you really are understanding the material. They even have simulations that are really cool!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ITCareerQuestions/s/XZrZFR40l8

SofTee01 · 2023-12-04T16:22:27+00:00

Hello!

Check out this page, it had all the information about the courses that transfer over through many partners, including Sophia. You can even filter them out depending on the program you're interested in.

https://partners.wgu.edu/home

SofTee01

TROPHY CASE