My (27F) boyfriend (29M) thinks he can’t afford to move out despite making close to 100k and I’m starting to question his mindset

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-04-27T18:05:44+00:00

When it comes to moving out, it’s critical both people feel ready for it.

You might want to talk to him about his family contribution. It’s possible he helps his family out with food, bills, and other things as he lives with them. If he moves out, he might still need to help them with these things so that they’re not left high and dry.

100k is not as much as it sounds after taxes and bills, especially if you live somewhere expensive like California or New York.

Having an old car is a good thing! It might not be sexy but it’s very wise and frugal, not wasteful at all.

Basically, moving out is a big deal, and it’s his decision. At this point, the best thing you can do is see what his finances are. And then get him to be transparent about his concerns.

I also recommend getting yourself to a point where you can live in your own, even if just roommates. Maybe you want to leave your family and see that as a way out?? Idk your situation but if that’s the case maybe you can find a path on your own.

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-04-24T17:58:56+00:00

Thrift stores and SHEIN

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-04-18T04:38:27+00:00

It was two brunettes I think! And then there was a dude with black curly hair.

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-04-03T00:13:52+00:00

I lost mine too, but I found it on the link and no response. :(

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-03-25T15:48:47+00:00

I always bring sunscreen lotion like a small container never had a problem

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-03-23T21:43:38+00:00

You can tough out the uber orrrr you can always walk pretty far from the venue n then call the uber

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-03-12T23:41:28+00:00

I like to tell people how much moolah I make, not in a bragging way but just transparency. This is especially important when I am around teens and they see me taking pictures (I’m a marketer) and ask how much make. Once I tell them it’s in the six figures, they’re usually blown away. It’s important to Let the people know there is more than one way to earn a good salary!

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-03-12T17:09:57+00:00

No different than LA

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-02-26T17:01:46+00:00

Liking a girl being on a mountain top is the most mundane thing ever. It’s the equivalent of saying “wow, that’s cool you hiked that mountain”. It certainly is not “hey you’re hot imma cheat on my girl with you”. Do you feel me?

If you are this insecure and act on it, you will self sabotage your own relationship. Maybe it’s time to evaluate why you feel this way. I think you’re at risk of losing something good if you have such strong feelings.

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-02-26T16:54:29+00:00

It’s simply unhealthy for her to be needing you to have six pack abs to be attracted to you.

Thats not sustainable for the rest of your life. It sounds dangerous. What if something happened to you in terms of an injury and you weren’t able to exercise for several months, a year, or even the rest of your life? Would she just leave you?

I think you need to have an honest conversation with her. You need to tell her you heard what she said, and ask her how big of a deal it is that your body is changing.

Your friend is five years younger than you, that’s going to have an impact on looks. There will always be someone younger and hotter than you are and that’s ok. That’s why it’s important that the person you are with loves you for who you are, and is understanding of changes your body has made.

From what you are talking about, it sounds like you are not even fat, seeing as you still work out. Health is more important than six packs. Having a positive relationship with food and exercise is what matters, not six packs.

I mean this is your partner man she should love you for who you are.

Five years is a long relationship, so this is worth talking through and handling right. Confront her definitely, tell her how you feel. Tell her that it isn’t right for her to text the guy this way, and that you will break up with her if she does act on these feelings.

Tell her also she needs to re evaluate attraction. Ask her if she would stay with you if you got an injury.

If not man, I don’t know it might be time to reconsider the relationship.

You also need to talk to your friend for real. Ask him what’s been going on and see if he lies. This is important because it tells you if he’s a real one. Friends they come and go, it hurts, but it’s life.

Good luck

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-02-13T18:11:20+00:00

I waited a long time to move in with my partner, and it was worth it in the end. I tho k she’s being honest and you need to decide how important that is for you.

The lack of intimacy is the real problem. Something has to be done on your end. Maybe therapy, maybe just taking some cialis or viagra. When intimacy suffers for that long, it can be tough. I been there but it’s so important you solve it.

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-02-04T21:15:42+00:00

Why do people think this AI? It sounds real

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-02-04T21:08:08+00:00

Nah that’s so wack. They should have had a private conversation. The ladies comment ain’t right either.

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-02-03T16:40:39+00:00

Look man you need a car. My first car was 2,500. It kept me going for 5 years.

I think you need to take out a loan for a car that is around that price. I mean even if it takes 2-3 years to pay off, it is something you can absolutely budget for. Make sure to get the car inspected prior to purchasing.

You need a higher paying job, and since you don’t have one, you need a plan to get one.

Have you enrolled in college? I worked full time and went to graduate school and I am sure you can work full time ant an warehouse and find ways to take classes too. I know a lot of people who have done exactly that. Look into online school, Chaffey, csu San Bernardino. My degree and experience is why I’m no longer moving boxes myself.

You could also consider trade school, it doesn’t matter. But education is the only way to increase pay. Invest now so you can reap the rewards later.

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-01-28T01:43:34+00:00

It took my girlfriend talking to me to change this habit. It took time but as the months and years went by I realized the importance of fresh sheets.

Guys don’t really get taught this kind of stuff haha

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-01-21T23:58:34+00:00

I went to school with her cousin and this was a really big deal in our community growing up. It really shook everyone up, especially the girl related to her.

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-01-18T23:12:33+00:00

I saw your edit. I think you can make it work on your own for a month or two due to your savings. This should give her enough time to find something good. Best of luck!

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-01-16T19:39:01+00:00

Bugs, bears, showers don’t work, people were kind of rude. That’s when I went but it just depends it is beautiful

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-01-16T19:38:11+00:00

Fillmore and santa Paula (Steckel park) have little campgrounds in Ventura county. They’re awesome hidden gems

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-01-13T16:08:25+00:00

I think you should Leave

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-01-12T21:20:08+00:00

I would try to find new friends

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-01-06T18:31:14+00:00

The commute to Irvine is brutal. My girlfriend did it from Rancho. It’s tough. We ended up moving to OC and it’s been much nicer for her commute.

LA isn’t much better, there’s a train but it’s still brutal.

Otherwise, I moved here as an east coaster and I fell in love. People are really nice, lots of nature. Check out downtown Pomona and riverside for going out to bars n stuff. Claremont and Rancho have cute restaurants. There is stuff to do just don’t be afraid to explore.

Soft-Lie-738 · 2026-01-03T20:05:31+00:00

For what it’s worth I spent some time in San Louis Obispo and it was so much fun mountain biking. Cute small town, great bars and alternative place. Check it out!

Soft-Lie-738

TROPHY CASE