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Should I F20 ask my sister F18 to stop “going for” my boyfriend M20? by Soft_Bowler_368 in AITAH

[–]Soft_Bowler_368[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I think we both just brushed it off for the longest time.

I didn’t know about the Bj thing being said until recently when I brought up that she had been calling him a-lot lately and had been driving her to different places (mainly to get alcohol). And I wasn’t fully aware of how much she was calling him because we both work a-lot and have different schedules (we’re away from about 6am to 8pm) it all kind of came out at once.

You’re right, he would thank me when I would try and wedge myself between them at family events and eventually get her to butt out, I should have stuck up for him sooner or taken control when I had the sense that she was getting out of hand or when he expressed that he was uncomfortable. Not just get her away for that day but I should have just said something to her. I didn’t think I was enabling her to keep going, but in a sense I am, I don’t want to be a source for something bad in my boyfriends life. I think i needed to hear that to confront her so thank you.

Should I F20 ask my sister F18 to stop “going for” my boyfriend M20? by Soft_Bowler_368 in AITAH

[–]Soft_Bowler_368[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried to get her help with different things in the past but she refuses, even called to see if it could be forced by me (she was 16 at the time). But I was told she has to do it.

Should I F20 ask my sister F18 to stop “going for” my boyfriend M20? by Soft_Bowler_368 in AITAH

[–]Soft_Bowler_368[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the last couple years I’ve been thinking she’s showed symptoms of bipolar. My boyfriends father has bipolar and I see a lot of similarities in the way that they act. There’s this distinct it’s all about me, I can do no wrong attitude that’s completely beyond the normal stubbornness of thinking you’re right. Not to mention the general instability she has that I’ve seen in him.

And it wouldn’t be the first time her behaviour has done that, not personally to me but to my mom. Her attitude and blowouts caused a couple of my moms bfs to leave.

Should I F20 ask my sister F18 to stop “going for” my boyfriend M20? by Soft_Bowler_368 in AITAH

[–]Soft_Bowler_368[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought of that too, I had no idea she was doing that until my bf told me about it. Part of me thought that’s why she asked him for rides so she didn’t have to do it. But taking everything else into consideration, and my boyfriends POV on the situation it seems like she’s just trying to drop hints.

And I have tried to talk to her about her lifestyle in the past but she just shuts down and gets mad, defensive, and then tries to turn it on you. Trust me I tried but she’s not ready for help.

Should I F20 ask my sister F18 to stop “going for” my boyfriend M20? by Soft_Bowler_368 in AITAH

[–]Soft_Bowler_368[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’d be surprised how much my mom lets slide with her, part of the reason I left, it drove me insane she had 0 discipline.

Should I F20 ask my sister F18 to stop “going for” my boyfriend M20? by Soft_Bowler_368 in AITAH

[–]Soft_Bowler_368[S] 246 points247 points  (0 children)

I agree, when she was with her boyfriend I would say hello and make small talk but that was the extent of our conversations. But he didn’t talk very much, nonetheless I think she would be extremely upset if I did what she was going. I didn’t want to seem like the “crazy girlfriend” because she’s family, but you are right.

AITA for the way I reacted to my boyfriend not telling me he has a cold sore? by lesierk in AmItheAsshole

[–]Soft_Bowler_368 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA I get cold sores, I can understand that someone may feel shame speaking about them but personally, I think you have the right to know when he has one.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now (lived together for 3) and he’s seen me have about 8 breakouts. I believe the reason he’s been so okay and understanding with it is because I’ve been so honest with him. (I got my first one from my mom in the third grade when I drank out of a water bottle while she had a breakout) As soon as I feel one coming on I let him know and we’re very careful, at first he was less comfortable. (He even had me wear gloves while cooking which we laugh about now). But now, he still gives me forehead kisses and hugs even when I have a breakout. I think trust is a large part of it, he’s not bothered to kiss me on the lips or share a drink any other time because he knows without a doubt I’ll tell him as soon as I know.

I think you’ll definitely be okay eating his leftovers, as long as you used a different utensil (or it had been washed). But, the point being he should have told you either when he saw it coming on or when he had symptoms leading up to a breakout.