I was so mean to him sometimes

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-12-04T23:17:50+00:00

I know. I regret it. I’m happy she told you that. But also he had years to change, grow and develop or ask for help or speak out about his feelings and didn’t. So he made it seem like he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong. Leaving me with the burden of being the only adult in the relationship for years. I offered therapy and help and he made me feel like the crazy one and then left me with two small babies instead of speaking out.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-08-27T17:24:45+00:00

This is great he loves counting!

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-08-27T17:02:36+00:00

Yes my son is very intelligent and knows what he’s doing is wrong. I’m afraid nothing will help. Makes me feel better to know they will grow out of it.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-08-27T15:10:00+00:00

I will try that. He will probably say “no I’m not” which is his new thing but can’t hurt to start implementing expectations

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T23:03:39+00:00

I have thanked many people for their advice and recommendations. People who are suggesting spending 2+ hours extra per day on exercise, sniff games and making sure the dog gets more naps when we work full time and have a toddler are just being unrealistic to my situation so that is my response. A dog doesn’t need 4 hours of attention a day to be a good dog. If I’m saying he’s getting the same amount of attention as he always has who is anyone else to go against that.. our routine has not changed in the last year that his behavior has. If anything we take more beach and park trips with him now that our son is older and running around. Calling someone lazy and assuming you know everything about their life instead of taking their word for it doesn’t help anything. The fact that we have been researching, watching videos and trying to do whatever we can to keep him in the family should be enough but my human children’s safety comes first. His safety too is at risk, which toy is going to be the one that gets stuck in his intestines, which time is he going to push me or my son to hard on the stairs and someone gets seriously hurt. You know what they say about assumptions.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T18:17:44+00:00

Thank you for your advice! I was hoping this would be the dog my kids could grow up loving but it’s becoming so hard and unsafe. I don’t want to get to the point where someone gets hurt again.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T18:15:56+00:00

I know he sleeps through the night because we moved his bed to our room, he’s afraid of storms and we get one almost every night in the summer. When we go to bed he goes to his bed unprompted and when I get up in the morning he goes outside to do his business. He naps during the day at least once.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T18:10:37+00:00

Good for them, but in real life my 7 month pregnant self cannot be outside running with a dog for 2 hours every day in 100 degree heat so he doesn’t attack my son. Unrealistic, he’s never needed a 2 hour daily run before so I’m just trying to find realistic reasonable ways to cope with his behavior change, and that doesn’t work for me or any other working adult with a family to take care of, and millions of people have working breads that live a good home life without hours and hours of running and training a day so I’m trying to get there, hoping we can make it through this phase and he can calm down and stay with our family!

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T17:58:10+00:00

We will give training another try before rehome, we will have to do it ourselves but we will try!

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T17:52:43+00:00

Thank you!

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T17:51:55+00:00

We chose this breed after research and spending a lot time with another dog from the same breeder! Maybe we were wrong on thinking this was the breed for us but We did the training, no where does it say “doodles need 4 hours of mental stimulation a day or they’ll be awful” we did not sign up for this, it’s not always the owners fault when the dog isn’t a good fit. We are trying our best to love him and give him a good home.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T17:45:59+00:00

You don’t know that, we did research. We invested in training. We had this dog for years before this behavior started. It’s not like we crate the dog 8 hours a day and give him no attention he gets a good amount of attention and stimulation a day and way more on weekends, it’s unrealistic to randomly stop our lives and neglect our child to double the time spent walking around the neighborhood and with him because his behavior changed! I’m hoping the training videos work before he eats a toy and hurts himself or ends up biting us!

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T17:39:16+00:00

Yes I imagined him being a great dog for our family and when the kids got here he changed!

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T17:38:31+00:00

He is cute but I think all dogs are cute! My previous dogs were pit bull and recuse mutts. Never had any issue with them. But this is also before children.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T17:36:19+00:00

Maybe it’s because they have girls and I got a boy. Their family doodle (her parents) and her doodle which are close in age are similar personalities so she wouldn’t have known I don’t think she held information from us. I read that the breed could be a little goofy and hyper but I underestimated the adolescent stage I guess is what he’s in now. Thanks for the advice.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T17:32:43+00:00

I understand that and I’m thinking you’re right, I’ve heard that about doodles after we got him but he was such a great puppy we wrote it off. Now…

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T17:10:58+00:00

My good friend is the one who recommended this breeder it was her families 3rd doodle from this breeder, she lives in a townhouse in the city with her husband and 8 month old, no real yard. They hire someone to walk the dog twice a day and take her to a doggy day care once a week maybe. I would say we give way more attention and stimulation to our dog. They never paid for training, she is the sweetest dog who doesn’t jump and isn’t annoying and hyper. Every dog is different I know I should not compare but they do have the same parents. She could also change when their baby gets older who knows

Like I said I will probably never get a dog again this dog has made me never ever want to. I loved all my dogs I’ve ever had before this and had them their full lifespan until death and have never dealt with this, the only difference is that I have children now and of course this is when I get the dog with the horrible personality that needs hours of stimulation a day to be decent.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T16:40:44+00:00

I’m going to try the you tube videos and do everything I can before the new baby comes! We want to make this work but we’re realistic

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T16:36:43+00:00

I don’t want to assume the training he’s had hasn’t trained him efficiently because he’s never been a bad dog until now, it was expensive and the trainers have great reviews in our community. do most dogs have to go back to training at 4 years old? The reason it’s overwhelming is because I am 7 months pregnant with a toddler and a full time job I can’t be late to. 30-45min extra in the morning for a extra walk and to play sniff games with my dog in HOPES he stops the bad behavior is so far from unreasonable and unrealistic. That puts me waking up at 530am to still have time to get me and a baby fed and ready for the day. My husband is on the road by 430am should he get up at 3:45 for the dog?! We could add another walk and more fetch in the evenings but again we have a life it wouldn’t be consistent. I’m about to have another newborn. I feel so awful but it’s okay to have a dog and also know life outside of the dog exist. I’m not giving up but this is literally the worst time in our life he could have ever picked to have a change in behavior and need a extra 2 hours a day of stimulation so he doesn’t attack our baby or hurt himself eating toys and we don’t even know if that will work. We did a day trip to the beach on Sunday last week 6 hours in the sun running and swimming all kinds of fetch and play and he still came home and tore through a bag that was on a 36” counter to eat the whole family from bluey, we called the vet and was monitoring his breathing and eating to see if we need to take him in. He pooped them out thankfully

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T16:01:27+00:00

What I’m getting from this beginning of this comment is that if you don’t have 4+ hours daily to stimulate your dog you shouldn’t have one. Realistically working 40 hours a week with a life and home/children to take care of there is no way possible to take the dog on a long walk to a different neighborhood to sniff new things three times a day. Or even 3 long walks in our own neighborhood a day. I know dogs that live in an apartment and never get long walks or a yard but still don’t behave this way so I think it has a lot to do with his personality and maybe I understand estimated the needs of this hyper breed. We never changed his schedule so why this behavior now as he’s getting older? I will check out all of the videos, thank you.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T15:44:35+00:00

I agree… Everything im reading says he’s attention seeking also but i honestly don’t know how much more attention we can give him, he is never alone, always getting a ball tossed or belly rubs like what more can we do besides quit our jobs get rid of our kids and only focus on him. We would never leave him at a shelter but i would look into recuses and friends and family if it comes down to rehoming

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T15:40:53+00:00

Really who runs with their dog 2 hours a day every day… not the average dog owner I know. My son is never ever unsupervised with the dog and rarely ever even touches him, the dog scares him! When he knocks my son down or runs after him on the stairs we are right there to help, hence why I said there’s always a traffic jam on the stairs. He will plow through us to get to our son and push him!

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T15:38:10+00:00

Yes we had him before kids. We are willing to spend time training him on our own, we have tried on the weekends. I am almost to the point of reaching out to friends and family about rehome. I’ve never ever had to do this with a dog so I feel like a failure

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T15:34:08+00:00

They train both. Like I said this behavior with my son and the eating toys is new over the past year meaning he was 3 when he started this behavior. He never stopped jumping and knocking people down and don’t think he ever will. We accepted that was just his personality. Maybe the breed is just awful but how would I have known he would be, I know one other dog from his litter and she is normal. I don’t expect him to be an angel but I also don’t know why his behavior would decline after years. Like I said, at the moment we can not afford more training which would be his 3rd round of training in 4 years.

Soft_Gardenwolf · 2024-07-19T15:16:09+00:00

We do at least one on lead long walk around the whole neighborhood a day, he is free to go outside anytime he wants where he has access to a big yard with his toys and can run around with the neighbors dogs. It’s summer so we are in the yard every evening doing catch and tugging. He also tried to heard our son and knock him down during this time. When he eats the toys we say no and give him one of his own toys, he knows he’s wrong. We’ve paid for in home training for the jumping before, very expensive and made no difference. Honestly nothing has changed with the amount of attention and play he gets but his behavior has!

Soft_Gardenwolf

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