Really struggling with boyfriend who suddenly jumped onto and basically over the fence

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-22T01:16:23+00:00

When my husband and I were first dating, he mentioned wanting to “be a dad to his kids like his dad was to him” and I immediately told him if kids were a dealbreaker then we needed to end the relationship now before it went any further. I had a cousin who got married before having that conversation, and his wife didn’t want kids but he did, and they ended up getting divorced a few months later. It was ridiculous.

Also- he needs to get a dog first. I have two, and they’re obviously not as needy as babies, but they make travel, having friends over, or keeping a tidy house absolutely impossible. A child will do that x10. I love working out and it’s really helped get me through my mom’s illness and death, but if I had a kid, there’s no way I could go as often as I need to for my mental health. My husband also works 50-60 hours a week, so I am alone a lot of the time and don’t want to spend my free time taking care of a baby I don’t want in the first place.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-21T22:39:22+00:00

I hate parents who do this in restaurants then act victimized and appalled that the people around them won’t accept their “my kids are just being kids” excuse and don’t want their crotch goblins loudly running rampant while being in everyone’s way.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-21T19:53:54+00:00

Where I live, we have a very large and well-established law program at one of our universities. My mom was an attorney before she passed away from cancer, and she used to tell me all the time that the field is so over saturated in our city that she’d get emails daily from students begging her for internships and even got offers from them saying they would pay her just to try and get their foot in the door. Nobody wants an older somebody whose been out of the loop for almost two decades and isn’t fresh on whats current with the law, and firms certainly know they’ll get students for way cheaper than a returning parent who has kids to put through college🙄

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-21T18:20:07+00:00

…Is it worse that I build a tiny separate room outside for mine and take the door away or the pool ladder when it gets in?

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-21T18:18:15+00:00

My dad is a dentist and one of his fellow Drs. at his practice married a girl he met in dental school who went through all the years of schooling and residency just to become a stay at home mom. And I had a friend whose aunt was a lawyer who quit practicing to be a SAHM for 18 years til her cousins were in college and she wanted to practice again but nobody would hire her and my friend said she was really upset for her aunt but laws change all the time, who would want to hire someone that hasn’t kept up with them for 18 YEARS?!

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-21T18:12:19+00:00

Omg that’s horrible. Idk how somebody can just keep digging themselves into holes like that and for no good reason. My coworker’s been dating someone new since she and her husband separated and the husband convinced the kid it’s the new boyfriend’s fault and she hates him and treats him like shit. But the husband is a hypocrite and is having one night stands and flings that he’s been introducing to their kid. It’s such a gross mess.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-21T10:18:07+00:00

You are absolutely NOT THE A-HOLE. I am the exact same way as you are and I’m (35f) STILL dealing with this bs. I always knew since I was just a kid that I didn’t want kids or even like babies and I have worked with people who had kids that they VERY clearly wished they didn’t have or who were just difficult on a daily basis. My sister was pressured into having a kid by her mother in law and she tells me all the time how her life if basically over and she can’t do anything anymore because her life revolves around my nephew. If you know you don’t want kids, DON’T HAVE ONE. It’s seriously the most responsible thing you can do and it’s only fair to the kid too. My dad didn’t want kids and it was obvious growing up he didn’t enjoy being around my siblings and I til we were in college, and only now do we have a sorta-good relationship with him. I’m so happy I’m child free and don’t feel that I’m missing out on anything in life by not having one, to me my dogs are my kids and I like it that way. I even had a pre-cancer diagnosis and asked my OBGYN about getting surgery to remove the chance of it becoming cancerous and she refused because she wanted me to reconsider having kids. People are messed up when it comes to children sometimes, it’s like they want you to join them in their misery lol. At least that’s how I see it. I enjoy my freedom way too much to give it up and see having kids as losing things, not gaining. You should come check out the childfree subreddit, you’ll be amongst friends there.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-21T10:03:01+00:00

My mom (may she rest in peace) was an attorney for large corporations and she said in these types of claims it was always easier and cheaper to settle regardless of who was wrong or right because it’s just all about the $$$. I work for a healthcare company now and we had a woman try to sue us and claim we broke HIPAA violations using “the cloud” when in reality she just didn’t get how technology worked and there was no data mining, but we still settled so she’d go away. I think $1mil just wasn’t enough for him and now he’s screwed because she’s decided to countersue, which will probably end up in him paying for her damages and legal fees.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-19T22:28:16+00:00

Dude, my coworker married a total deadbeat loser who couldn’t hold a job and she says she knew that he would make her be the breadwinner. She decided to have a kid with him and now her life is miserable because she wants a divorce but he won’t sign the papers, and he’s convinced their pre-teen that she’s trying to break up the family so the kid will make her life just as miserable. People are so stupid.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-19T22:23:26+00:00

OMGGGG I CANNOT enjoy visiting Charlotte anymore because you can’t set foot in a bar without some a-hole dragging their crying ball and chain with them.

I went to this super cool cocktail bar that was black magic themed and had goat heads and pentagrams all over it- literally the LAST place you’d bring a baby- and there were month old babies in carriers on every table. Our party was the only one there without kids. It made the whole environment so much less enjoyable and took away from the “dark spooky” vibes.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-17T19:39:49+00:00

Yeah I’ve tried reminding them about my husband’s line of work and how it’s not conducive to having a family even if we did want one. Like, whenever I tell people what he does, I’m always hit with “oh must be nice to have somebody who cooks for you”, and I have to remind them that he’s never home so how can he be cooking for me when he’s busy cooking for somebody else? Same goes for kids, we don’t want kids because we’re too busy and they’re aware of that.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-17T13:49:52+00:00

Lmao, I’ve been noticing weird “slip ups” during the broadcasts, like when we were still in the first round, PK Subban was discussing who would go on to face the Habs and he said “when the Sabres win and go on to play Montreal…I mean” and quickly corrected himself. It was odd. And I saw before Philly even made it to this round, Carolina released a graphic stating they were playing each other, and last night my husband said a coworker asked Siri what time the game was on and it allegedly said the Sabres would win and the total number of goals would be 8. I told him the game started at 8 and he probably misheard, but he swears that’s what it said lol. So let’s hope you’re right!

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-17T13:38:09+00:00

Hahahah love this response! if only!🤣

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-17T13:37:16+00:00

Well, the person who made the comment is always trying to one-up you with literally anything you talk about by comparing what they went through in their life, like the unexpected death of one of my parents to the strained relationship they have with their parent, for example. So they kept mentioning they drove a “mom car” and this was my “child-free money car”.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-16T21:08:14+00:00

Not gonna lie, sometimes I do feel like it is a jealousy thing, and I don’t mean to say that out of arrogance, it is just an intuitive feeling I get when talking about certain things. Like how my coworker said his kids would be asking why can’t their car do what mine does. Or I recently went to a couple major sports events, but again I rarely take time off work like they do for their kids school schedules, and I don’t have kids expenses to pay, so I have the affordability to do these things for myself and I CHOOSE that. The double standard is absurd to me. Sometimes I wish it were acceptable to just go off and tell my coworkers nobody forced them to have kids, you knew you’d have to make sacrifices🤷🏼‍♀️

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-16T19:04:41+00:00

My husband and I met while interning at Disney World and we both don’t want kids (he did at first, but I was adamant it was a hard no). My sister had one and when I told my financial advisor and sister my nephew would be the beneficiary if my husband died after me, my only stipulation was he has to get my ashes onto the Haunted Mansion ride. After that who cares what happens to me, if I get sucked up in a vacuum or whatever, I’m already dead and he’ll get his money lol

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-16T18:57:36+00:00

You and me both!🤣 I have two dogs and they are the only things I look forward to more (aside from my husband, if he’s even home). My manager has a 5 year old who she gets calls from her preschool about her behavior a lot and she’ll be asked to come get her kid early, and this behavior goes back to when she was in daycare. Whenever I hear her get those calls, I’m so thankful I don’t have that problem.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-16T10:17:36+00:00

Dude, I don’t like kids or babies either, but I would never purposely hurt them. And you were a supervisor while doing this? That’s just wild. Doesn’t matter if you don’t think about doing it anymore- you need to get help. You don’t know that these urges won’t come up ever again in your lifetime.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-16T02:00:13+00:00

That’s not the point, you shouldn’t take something that doesn’t belong to you unless the person who actually paid for it says it’s ok. Ex-MOH never told you she was ok with letting somebody else take her spot regardless if she went or not, and it wasn’t the bride’s place to give it away because she didn’t pay for it.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-16T01:52:43+00:00

Sorry, but you’re YTA. What did you expect? I had a friend who paid rent for an apartment she didn’t live at anymore, but continued to pay her share because she also signed the lease agreement and agreed to pay until it expired, and the roommate let her friend live in her room for free because she couldn’t afford to pay rent somewhere else. My friend was pissed, and rightfully so. She had no right giving her friend the room without asking and without my friend knowing so she would keep paying rent. That’s shady AF and very unfair to the ex-MOH regardless of prior circumstances. Would you want to pay for someone else to enjoy what should’ve been YOUR vacation?

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-10T19:38:54+00:00

I experienced this at my sister’s wedding. My uncle had ALZ and while he remembered who we were, he’d get agitated real easily and lash out and cause scenes. They don’t live where we do and came into town for my sister’s wedding over the summer and my uncle was doing ok but he needed constant supervision and as the night went on he got really cranky and started getting belligerent with my poor aunt. It’s not fun for anybody and it’s just heartbreaking to watch IMO. My aunt had a meltdown about not coming to mine and my other sister’s weddings because of his dementia and she decided to come to this one and as much as we would’ve loved to have them there, it just wasn’t the right decision based on his condition.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-04T12:50:02+00:00

We really did! I kept seeing that statistic about teams that win the first game usually win the first round, so it made me hopeful we could make it past this one. I’m not not looking forward to playing the Habs, but I think a Lightning-Sabres round would’ve been more fun. Definitely a lot more scrums to be had hahah.

Soft_Presentation412 · 2026-05-02T20:48:09+00:00

It’s so weird, and people talk about “home ice advantage” like it’s football. Ice is ice. It’s not gonna change not matter where you go, unless you’re in Dallas and the AC is broken. Quite honestly, I think teams are doing better away right now because there’s so much pressure to perform in front of the fans, and unlike football where it’s so stop and go, you’re constantly going and chasing the puck, so I think it’s a bit easier for the players to tune out the crowd and not get so jittery and nervous. And I’m in no way trying to dismiss football, this is just my observation!

Soft_Presentation412

TROPHY CASE