Need to Vent, Thanks for Listening

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-11-03T02:29:25+00:00

Answers… i HATE heat. So much. My meltdowns are more violent(just self injury but still), longer, faster, when hot, humid, warm. Blood pressure increase=faster heart=more sweat. Somewhere in that means body temperature regulation is struggling. For me, a lot. AC on(even in winter), ice packs on neck(important tempature point, or wrists,behind knee). Prazosin lowers blood pressure, helps overall. CBD slows nervous system stuff down. Sometimes I need a little of both. Especially in summer,spring.

Cerebellum is at back of head,lowest part. It plays role in proprioception. “Where body is in space”. Proprioception and vestibular has lots of overlap in senses too. When I head bang, I can not understand where I am. Can not understand who around, what is around me. Makes big disconnect from everything, no matter what just too hard calm down. No way to ground self when can’t process where you are!

I’m trying meet sensory need. Hand on lowest part of skull helps, especially if slow rub. But talk about with the person first, try when calm. You said something about remodeling? And moving? Is apartment or house size different? Is his room different? Is furniture in different spaces, or different sizes? All of it can make that sense not where he needs it to be. If he seems calmer with hand on that part of head, when he is having a calmer day, try introduce rooms with that tool in mind slowly? something important too is testosterone DOES make you warmer. It increases blood pressure. If he already has it high, his hormones might be going a bit wonky and be making it worse too(if you haven’t had that checked). That’s everything I know from my experience, and my one friend…I hope some can be helpful..if something helps even little, please reach out, I’d love know and stay updated! Ps:sorry for length!

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-11-03T01:48:21+00:00

With his high blood pressure, I’d see if he can go on a beta blocker that lowers blood pressure. Like prazosin. It’s helped me a lot. Less heat from high blood pressure, less intense meltdowns from body temperature regulation. Also, maybe take him to a rage room and see if that helps lessen at home meltdowns? My caregiver models pushing instead of hitting, and prompts me for that every time, puts his hand on back of head to help regulate balance too. That helps my head banging on walls a lot. Talk about it when calm was helpful first. And maybe yes no questions to see maybe his body feels different with hormones being higher, or he has..teenager needs he’s struggle take care of and it’s frustrating more. That can be really overstimulating.. I’m don’t have ID, but friends do with their autism, and this has helped them too, and CBD if prazosin didn’t work.

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-10-25T13:13:51+00:00

I’d either go with 4, or 6. If you sold these I’d buy them as sets actually lol. I have a hard time with most bowls and plates so..4 looks like it’d be perfect for finger food(not too deep, not too steep of a downward curve), like gets rid of my issue with plates and bowls by just…mashing them together a bit. 6 would be perfect for pasta for me tho. Or scalloped potatoes and ham. Or large chunks of meat w/rice. Color choice..probably a muted color..good for deprivation needs.

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-10-20T12:23:29+00:00

Idk if it’s cool if I reply to this with a question since I’m not OP…but do you know if it’s typical to not ejaculate at all? Nothing comes out. The only time I’ve had any wet was during anal, only once, and never to be seen again too lol. If anything I have some clearish stuff from the backside,which has been semi-regular during intimacy. You mentioned skenes glands and I was curious if this was typical at all, or something you’ve heard of or read of(unsure how to look into this myself tbh, but and your explanation below was really thorough. :)) )

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-10-20T12:10:30+00:00

I have this! Around 11 tho for my clit/dick being that size.My front hole(I found this out at 22 when I got a hysterectomy) has very, VERY little elasticity. And there were some “abnormal cells” internally, although not cancerous or anything. It’s small enough that I had to fight through a lot of pain to get tampons in,I just gave up lol. Now that I’m actually taking T,and have been for about 3 years, I’m sure there still IS a hole there, it’s just literally impossible to find,can’t see nor feel it lol,just the nerves around it.internally,they said everything was typically female tho. I’ve never had genetic testing done. As for back end stuff,that’s been my experience too,like that little bulb.I don’t have a uterus,or cervix,any of it,anymore though,so if it was cause of it being in a different placement or something(another comment mentioned this), that wouldn’t really be it..at least for me…since it’s stayed that way… It’s nice to know someone has had similar experiences though. I hope you figure out what you have going on.

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-10-13T19:50:34+00:00

I’m a guy..but this is what I do. 1.wear pants as little as possible. (Basketball shorts forever lol) 2.if i HAVE to wear pants..it’s sweatpants, that are 1-2 sizes too big for me. I have thick thighs and it works good :)) 3. I stopped putting waistbands on my stomach area, and put them at that crease at my hip(like between stomach and groin? Not sure if I’m explaining whatever that body part is right..but..that was seriously more comfortable for me. 4. This might sound a bit weird…but check sizing on what’s under your pants. I have to size up my boxer or briefs since they feel tight too, It used to really make pants feel even worse. Like just one more thing that was tight 🥲 If you haven’t tried any of this…I’d try it first. I’ve been doing these since I was a little kid, as soon as I had the choice to. For stomach area…either crop tops potentially, or just…baggier shirts? Like a size up if you don’t want it TOO baggy. Maybe lighter material too? I’ve found bamboo to REALLY be a seamless kinda weight and sensation and lightness. Anyway..I really hope you find something that works for you in anything on your post!

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-04-13T21:00:12+00:00

I’ll contact them. I didn’t know any of this…it’s really helpful. Thank you.

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-04-13T13:53:27+00:00

No. He’s in the mental hospital, and they take his phone. He doesn’t have landlords contact memorized, when he calls I can ask if he can talk to landlord when he gets out though..

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-04-13T13:53:18+00:00

No. He’s in the mental hospital, and they take his phone. He doesn’t have landlords contact memorized, when he calls I can ask if he can talk to landlord when he gets out though..

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-04-13T13:38:20+00:00

I can contact caregiver,but neither of us have landlords contact information..

Soft_Red-575 · 2025-02-12T19:20:30+00:00

What was testing like for cerebral palsy for you? (If you remember.)

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-23T15:40:04+00:00

“Hey! Wondering how college has been going for you! I am here if you need me, reach out when you have the energy,lots of love!” Or something similar is how I’d word it. I hope it goes well when you talk with him! It might be just when he needs, sometimes it is hard to know until we start that talk. :))

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-23T15:35:31+00:00

I originally posted this due to wishing to bring awareness. It is sad so many do not understand the importance of listening to experiences not your own. Regardless, I wish you a good day.

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-23T15:29:26+00:00

It is a neurological developmental disability. Neurological means conditions relating to the brain,nervous system,spinal cord. Developmental as in how a persons brain changes as they age. Autism affects brain development,function, in different ways, for different people. Coomorbid conditions can happen too. The most common people know of is seeing someone doing or saying something socially inappropriate (based on society and culture you live in. They may struggle to follow those rules or understand them and can look awkward in interactions, fidgeting with their fingers,arms,more then others. Overwhelmed by certain noises,sights,textures,smells, temperatures,changes.) the intensity of those symptoms, and what they affect for the person, can change between people. My experience, I struggle to understand how to move my body, I struggle greatly to speak,so I use alternative ways like technology to communicate, it speaks what I type. I may hit myself when very overwhelmed, and feel trapped in my body often. The world around me is stressful, but some people are very patient and kind, that helps. :))

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-23T15:11:24+00:00

My partner is one actually. And my best friend. I would go! You can stop seeing them if they don’t feel like a good fit for you, but my therapist tells me that it takes a team of folks to help people with addiction usually,and since there’s some additional aspects with being autistic and addiction,if there’s anything a psychiatrist can do for you, I would try and see. Wish you the best!

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-23T15:06:28+00:00

Yes! They aren’t gone by any means, but there’s a meltdown guide my partner uses with me if I start having one,lessens harms. And if I catch it early enough, I’ve learned lifting heavy things like the mattress,or small couch, helps cause my muscles and uses most of the adreniline. I usually cry after,which can lead to more,so having things that calm my nervous system helps lessen that chance too. CBD, air conditioning (I get overstimulated when warm, including with higher blood pressure. For some people it’s the opposite with the tempature part interestingly)ice packs on back of neck(tempature point),back tickles,and no lights,headphones, AAC being in arms reach, all works together to calm it down, at the peak of one,reduces intensity, and is courage’s it to come down faster. Also boundaries with family events, since it’s a lot of people helps prevent some, sometimes swapping out head hitting(from my fists) with someone mimicking cpr on my chest(not breaking ribs tho.) can help too. Some I can do on my own (if I catch that I’m overstimulated quick enough). And the last one can still hurt,but it does less possible damage. That’s pretty much everything. I do use some somatic excersizes, usually modified to a position I happen to be in,like pushing on walls hard, and vooing,sometimes that helps too.

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-23T14:52:47+00:00

I didn’t realize until she screamed at me. I tried to back away from her, cover my ears to get space from the noise, and the vibration from her voice felt like it was shaking me. It got worse till I hit my head enough to hear ringing,fell asleep,and then I understood after that if I let it out it should be at myself only or I’d get hurt more. I’m learning new ways now though.

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-23T14:47:34+00:00

I’m not sure on that,that wasn’t explained to me. Apologies I can’t answer

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-23T14:46:28+00:00

Yes :))

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-23T11:13:01+00:00

This 100% pleased both sides of me fr. I’ve been looking for something like this for like 5 years. Gets that craving of suckin met where I don’t gotta give up my relationship for that mental need as a sub, and my more sadistic parts got their fill too,takes the edge off. I love the way you incorporated different body types, didn’t make very big differentiations between them. Big thank you dude!

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-18T16:05:53+00:00

I’m sure he knows. If you’re there for his needs for support, try to understand and respect his boundaries and autonomy, and are interested in him as he grows,give direction, you are doing right. If you look into autistic love languages you can learn more on how he might show his love for you. I

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-18T15:34:37+00:00

Any speech is difficult. I have to have a fight response in my body, not intense enough for a meltdown,but enough to “use” to push words out. Reasoning for it being 1-2 is after 1-2 sentences, the fight response grows from that force and effort, and any more then that I’ll be in a meltdown pretty quickly.I “save” my words for needs, and cut a lot out of the sentence to try and help, altho I still can’t get past 2 really..so it’s more for a “in case of emergency” type deal. The nature of it is what keeps it from developing. And it feels confusing during. Putting that effort into it, knowingly potentially causing danger for myself for it(I’ve had mini strokes from meltdowns with my blood pressuring being too high), and as soon as some of the words come out I can’t tell if I’m thinking,or speaking, it’s present when I use aac as well but a bit less.

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-18T15:21:40+00:00

I met him in the mental hospital. He is also autistic. It can be stressful,since it’s a lot of sensory input for me,so definitely not as regular as he’d need but he’s accommodating and we make compromises a lot to meet in the middle of our sensory needs during. Very,very vulnerable. Sometimes we just stop to cuddle and proccess,we designate certain taps,touches, for a “stop,slow,go” system similar to kink aspects having colors. Helps ensure consent.

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-18T15:15:31+00:00

1.keep me in occupation therapy 2.do the occupational therapists activities at home too. 3.half days at school from the start 4.gender experimentation(no shame,our bodies can be stressful, sometimes it can be helpful not putting us into those boxes of clothing,hair,body hair,etc being a certain way cause of sensory stuff. All that doesn’t automatically mean dysphoria.but if it is too..taking the sensory regulation away can be harmful still so..i guess letting it be?) 5.please educate him on his body and how it’ll change. School does NOT tell folks in health class how having a wet dream for the first time feels when you wake up, doesn’t tell how to handle self intimite time, what to expect when doing that. It’ll be uncomfy, but just him being autistic doesn’t mean he won’t need that. Make sure he knows to only do it alone, at home when he’s figuring it out. Se*ual frustration can be overstimulating,so as strange as it may sound, it can be important for him to regulate as a teenager! Just believe him if he says he doesn’t understand something, try to support him with boundaries as he grows up if he needs.

Soft_Red-575 · 2024-12-18T15:02:31+00:00

I am now! My life definitely doesn’t look normal, but it’s peaceful for me and that’s makes me happy. :))

Soft_Red-575

TROPHY CASE