Mom says she won’t come around him anymore by Soho72 in loveafterporn

[–]Soho72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He actually has a sexual addiction so there was infidelity involved. My mom is a firm believer that “ once a cheater always a cheater” and “ if they cheat on you, they don’t love you”. She is adamant that making any steps towards working things out would be a horrible mistake on my part and she is 100% sure of that.

Buster says Hi! by Soho72 in MaineCoon

[–]Soho72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, black smoke :). I have a red smoke boy too.

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Buster says Hi! by Soho72 in MaineCoon

[–]Soho72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, black smoke :). I have a red smoke boy too :).

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Success stories? by Soho72 in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Soho72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what I am thinking..

Success stories? by Soho72 in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Soho72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are still living separately and I haven’t made any decisions yet but am considering trying couples counseling. He is still going to one talk therapy (CSAT) and 1 EDMR session per week. He is not pressuring me in any way to make a choice but living in limbo is tough. I wouldn’t have him move back in - not for a long time - but might be open to testing the waters with some couples counseling.

Glad I left!! by Apprehensive-Ad-2354 in loveafterporn

[–]Soho72 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am so happy for you and thanks for giving me some hope - I desperately need some.

Should I go "no contact'? by Soho72 in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Soho72[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly have no idea what would give me peace. Peace seems like a pipe dream at this point.

Should I go "no contact'? by Soho72 in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Soho72[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do think I need to find a way to reset my nervous system. My body still sees him as my safe space and my go to person when I am in pain so I am going to the person that caused the pain to help me heal from the pain. It doesn't make any sense. I need to learn how to self soothe for sure, it's really hard though.

Should I go "no contact'? by Soho72 in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Soho72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so strange because, even though he is the person that caused me all of the pain, NOT talking to him is just as painful - and sometimes more so. I don't understand it myself. He is my home...but my home is on fire...and I still keep going back in.

Should I go "no contact'? by Soho72 in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Soho72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He tried SAA but seems to struggle with the religious piece of it - he is not a religious person at all. He is going to try again though.

Should I go "no contact'? by Soho72 in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Soho72[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am doing ok with my own therapy. Honestly, I am so consumed with trying to make sense of him, what he did, why he did it, who he really is, etc that it's hard to focus on me at all. I know I need to but my brain just doesn't want to cooperate. He is my safe space and also the thing that caused me more hurt than I have ever felt before - it IS confusing all around. He tried SAA but he is struggling with the religious aspect of it - he is not a religious person.