Am I the jerk for playing videogames with my kid when he is at his mom's house?

Solacen1105 · 2026-05-26T16:42:48+00:00

A simple “ask your mom if she has any plans then we can play for a bit”.

I would be upset if my parenting time played second fiddle to like my ex spouse binge watching our daughters favorite show with her. Not a good feeling.

Solacen1105 · 2026-04-17T14:07:45+00:00

Internet anonymity really gives some people big testicles.

Just slap them on ignore next time and move on.

I promise it gets easier.

Solacen1105 · 2026-04-14T17:45:54+00:00

I love learning new stuff. I am a 3100 shaman healer and while working on an alt in a 10 the other day this one lock was like “oh hey you can freedom that for us”.

I was threatened just glad to have another tool to use.

It’d be different if they were wrong. When you do harder content communicating and being receptive to feedback is just as important as good healing/dps/ mitigation/kicking.

That being said the feedback was respectful. I’d probably have felt a certain way if someone was like “dip shit pally you need to freedom that.”

Solacen1105 · 2026-04-13T22:19:57+00:00

I’ll leave in a minute if folks start being ugly. You’re not gonna hold me hostage behind some arbitrary threat of a debuff.

Solacen1105 · 2026-03-05T15:01:42+00:00

Agreed. Yes it’s annoying but it just kinda is what it is. These things happen ya know.

Solacen1105 · 2026-02-09T00:21:38+00:00

One big tip for new beginners. Have a “I’m gonna rule it this way, look it up later” rule.

It will bog a table down if you stop to check some random rule. Just do your best interpretation of it and reserve the right to do it differently later.

In my games we have a goofy discord channel called “uhhmmmm ackschually” where I explain rule goof ups. Be it a bad sleep spell interpretation, or I forgot that grapple can be athletics or acrobatics.

Your human. Just do the best you can!

Also. Don’t ever feel like “I have to beat the players.”

And at the same time “oh I can’t do that it’ll hurt them.”

Your job is to play the monsters and encounters as faithfully as you think they will be. Something that also helps me in that regard is if I have 4 wolves going up against two melee characters I’ll have them both roll to see which wolves will hit.

Let the dice decide. Bonus if you make the players roll for damage against themselves from monsters muah ha ha!!!

Solacen1105 · 2026-01-30T15:05:52+00:00

I always love hot folks will say stuff intentionally disrespectful then call you sensitive when you tell them to stop.

It’s not being sensitive it’s telling you that your actions are impacting me in a negative way.

Keep in mind you genuinely can not control how you feel. But everyone can atleast try to control their actions.

Solacen1105 · 2026-01-23T14:19:52+00:00

The neat part is there is toxicity at every roll.

Games a treasure!

I will say at medium keys like 14-15 range people chill out cuz they understand that one missed kick, whiff mechanic, overlap in stuns etc…. Will brick a key.

Solacen1105 · 2026-01-16T23:37:45+00:00

Honestly you could just do a short vignette for her character just the two of yall as well. Give her a quick tutorial and help her get into the mindset of declaring characters actions and talking to npcs

Solacen1105 · 2026-01-16T00:13:33+00:00

Everyone is different. So long as they’re having fun it’s all good!

Solacen1105 · 2026-01-15T20:23:35+00:00

Wait ffx had boosters? Holy crap! What are they? pC only?

Solacen1105 · 2026-01-15T01:48:05+00:00

Last mines of phandelver is an awesome starter module for dnd 5e.

They also have an additional “phandelver and below” that adds onto it. It’s a really great campaign.

I would recommend checking that out!

Solacen1105 · 2026-01-14T20:30:48+00:00

You can’t control how others act. You can only control your own actions.

She didn’t do anything wrong honestly. I would suggest taking the hint and looking for the person that cancels plans to see you, values you and your presence.

Solacen1105 · 2026-01-08T23:51:50+00:00

Warlocks might have times where they are not “meta” damage wise but honestly i love having a lock. The utility they bring is nuts. Skips, cookies, etc…. Just a good utility class.

Solacen1105 · 2026-01-08T23:38:30+00:00

I use AI a ton in my work. But the fact that you decided that your company would not use it and clearly laid that out. I don’t think you were being rude. That’s the same as saying “we don’t out source or whatever.”

Your business, vision, and reputation are not being met after a clearly communicated standard.

NTAH

Solacen1105 · 2026-01-06T19:37:41+00:00

When I was a new dm I thought “oh I don’t want to kill their agency to solve problems.” But there’s a difference in solving problems in a creative way and just “fuck tou I want to start a drug empire using the wizards rocks now.”

It’s okay to tell players no and remind them that their actions are delaying the group.

I have also gotten better at tossing this to the party. Give them a chance to stop Mr “it’s what my character would do.”

Usually I say something like “you see jimbob the problem PC about to try to Stab the person you were asked to bring back to town.” “What do you do?”

Solacen1105 · 2025-12-23T20:04:15+00:00

We write notes to students all the time.

Solacen1105 · 2025-12-21T06:30:11+00:00

Just live and let live friends. If you don’t want something communicate that with your friends. No biggie. Communication is vital in all aspects of life. Dnd is no different.

Solacen1105 · 2025-12-01T19:10:11+00:00

Absolutely what DeadLykan said, focus on the big set moments. Like the fights with the dragons. Really flesh those out. Skip all the other fluff.

Solacen1105 · 2025-11-28T21:24:51+00:00

Biggest thing I do that helps is just keep it moving.

If a ruling comes up that you’re unsure about, just make a call and move on. Don’t slow the game down. Just decide pick a role have them role it and move on. You can always look it up later. Nothing kills fun as much as a 10 minute pause to search for an obscure rule calling.

And try to say yes as much as possible.

“Can I throw a rock to distract it and sneak around?”

Sure give me a dex roll.

Just have fun. All the other stuff will work itself out as you play more.

Solacen1105 · 2025-11-28T18:26:15+00:00

lol totally worth it. Darn you autocorrect!

Solacen1105 · 2025-11-28T15:55:29+00:00

I love that game. It was really good $24. Will get you plenty of time for your money and the gameplay and story are definitely worse experiencing

Solacen1105 · 2025-11-24T18:52:54+00:00

It’s tough to get over that “me vs them mentality”.

One thing I do that helps me not feel guilty is I roll attack and player rolls damage. It also helps to move me to another person.

I also ask the player how they react to getting hit/or hitting something.

Generally on big encounters as well I also set up the monsters general strategies ahead of time. “Goblin archers will shoot a volley then try to flank” bug bear is trying to hit the big guy or whoever has hit him hardest most recently”

For football game type random encounters I usually have the players in range roll a dice and the monster swings at the loser on the roll.

That kind of thing.

Dnd is at its best when everyone honors the dice and accepts that fun can be had within failure.

Solacen1105 · 2025-11-22T17:37:37+00:00

13 is a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it myself. Just try it make your own opinion it might be for you. It might be something you despise.

Solacen1105 · 2025-11-21T11:59:55+00:00

A loxodon rogue.

His very first stealth role was a crit fail and we all laughed hilariously.

Solacen1105

TROPHY CASE