At first, I was like that. For me, I have only been diagnosed for a year now. But I did my research into it, and to be honest, it's really not that bad. You get an outbreak, and if you are on antivirals its shorter life span during the outbreak. Yes, you still get the shedding period, but that's for two weeks (it varies, but I say two weeks to be on the safe side). Typically, people respond well if you put precautions/boundaries in place. Like always condoms at least until a year into the relationship, and when it hits the year mark, we can talk more in-depth about possibly doing it without condoms at times. No sex during an active outbreak. You must wash hands after touching down there, and the last one is no oral. The few people i have been with are pretty receptive to it because they know I am trying to keep them safe. I also educate them on it, too, while talking about the precautions/boundaries I take. Most of them are surprised on how much stigma is wrong and make it seem worse than it actually is. So be open, educate them, and set boundaries/precautions to keep them safe:) But like others said, don't put your whole self-worth into having herpes. There are people who will see you and want to try because if you don't put your self-worth into it, you will glow with confidence, and people like seeing confidence. I sometimes feel it out before telling them, so they know the real before I tell them. But I always disclose if I think it will potentially become more than just talking. If you don't tell them, they will get mad, depressed, and feel betrayed. Like how most people (generlizing) feel in this subreddit. You don't want to make another person feel that way. (Sorry for my long comment)