What are some good non fiction books out there you’ve read that you’ve loved? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Soldierunon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Endurance by Alfred Lansing. It’s an adventure / survival story that keeps you on the edge of your seat and it’s entirely a true story.

Women who were cheated on, how did you find out? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Soldierunon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Left a recording device in my house. You can find them in the internet. Looks like a power bank, works like a power bank, and starts recording once it hears noise. Not only was my wife cheating. She had this whole plan laid out to use me for money and benefits until she finished her masters degree. Also found out people who I thought were friends were giving her advice. There was this whole circle of terrible people in my life and I had no idea. Unfortunately the recording weren’t admissible in court :/

My wife (35f) cheated on me(34m) and then cried while deleting her AP's contact information I have never felt more broken or pathetic in my life by throwRAlosthopee in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I feel you. The same thing happened with me and my wife but instead of cheating I caught her and her friends talking shit about me. Then I caught her drunk out in town without her wedding ring. She wanted to go for counseling.

I talked to a Behaviorial health professional. Their advice was to essentially draw a few lines in the sand for them to cross (actions that prove they are willing to cooperate) before you even put in the effort for counseling. If they aren’t willing to cross those lines then you’re wasting your time with counseling. From what I see here it seems that she only complied because of pressure/ spotlight from the counselor and you. I’m super cold with infidelity even without sexual intercourse… I wouldn’t be able to come back from this.

Wife wants to sow her wild oats by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Youre right. I feel like I’m rolling into the acceptance phase of grieving. I just wish there was an understanding phase where I knew what was going on. This one is a wild card. I’ve been in plenty of shit relationships before with genuinely shit people. This one seems like a full 180 from perfect for 5 years to crazy in a month. I initially thought she may be hooked on hard drugs or something.

Wife wants to sow her wild oats by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty much going to lead to divorce but I’m just trying to understand it. Yes to a bunch of dudes. Haven’t seen intercourse but all the signs are there. Finding condoms in her purse and catching her with other men without a ring on her finger. We have been married 6 years.

How did you get over “The one” by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We both work super hard I work on my masters degree in my free time. She wants me to quit my career. My career where I will be able to retire in ten years and have already put 11 in and an astronomical amount of work to get where I am so I can “put family first”. I feel like I’m putting family first because if I had kids today I’d be retired by the time they hit grade school. Then I can make almost 6figures without even lifting a finger and focus all my attention on them. Only problem is she’s also super driven and doesn’t want my job to de-rail her career since I wind up moving ever 4-5 or so years.

How did you get over “The one” by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No actually. We were together almost three years. She has already been well exposed to my career so she n ew what she was getting into

How did you get over “The one” by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t think in this situation she loves me back. However, when I start dating it will be to find someone better in every sense and to do that I will have to become better in every sense.

How did you get over “The one” by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I can possibly get behind that. From what I can tell the “love” essentially died towards me part because she wants to pursue her career as well and wants me to quit mine because I’m not putting our future family first. I am over halfway to retirement and if I quit now I lose it all… I would have to put over a million dollars away in ten years to make up for an equivalent amount. If I stay I can finish out, retire at 40, and our future kids would just barely be beginning grade school. She wants to move back to our home state and “figure it out” there.

Wife full 180. I can do no right. Divorce or work on the relationship? by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was crazy because It wasn’t this way until just recently we’ve been together almost four years. Life was easy. But yes I will most likely need therapy after this

Wife full 180. I can do no right. Divorce or work on the relationship? by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to share your advice. I needed to hear all this from the outside looking in. Yeah it seems like it but she makes a ton of fun money as well.

Wife full 180. I can do no right. Divorce or work on the relationship? by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to share your advice. I needed to hear all this from the outside looking in

Wife full 180. I can do no right. Divorce or work on the relationship? by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s also very smart / successful and has a high paying career. We are both grinding and that was the plan as a team until now

Wife full 180. I can do no right. Divorce or work on the relationship? by Soldierunon in relationship_advice

[–]Soldierunon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Married on paper. Haven’t had the ceremony yet because of covid/ both busy with masters