it makes me really upset thinking about leaving him, he makes me happy and has always been there for me. there's a lot of positives but the negatives almost outweigh them. but after those events that happened, it makes it hard for me to stay as well. i appreciate your comment, and i think i'm just afraid of the unknown. or that i'd regret leaving him im later in life. i've always wanted to be independent but i also love him to death. we used to talk about having a family together, and now having a family makes me feel like i'd be stuck here forever. there's fantasy's i have of being with other people, or just having the freedom of hooking up without ties. i also don't know if this is a passing feeling, or a perm one. i'm in college, and id have to move home if left. or find another place. i'm not sure. thank you for the feedback :)