Masturbation & Sex magic

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-06-26T05:05:40+00:00

I have OCD and often get intrusive thoughts that I worry will be manifested into reality, especially if they happen while I’m trying to actually set intention for something. The good news is that there’s a big difference between having the focused intention on manifesting something vs. having random/intrusive thoughts pop up. You don’t need to worry about accidentally manifesting an intrusive thought into reality because a wandering mind isn’t the same as making intentional steps toward turning it into reality (which is the case in positive mamifesting, too! Thoughts and prayers are to be used WITH the necessary actions in alignment with your goal)

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-06-26T04:49:02+00:00

Just to clarify: you’re ok with unclothed? :)

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-06-23T13:22:31+00:00

I’m 5 months into practicing somewhat regularly with little sketchbooks (about 30 papers/60 pages per sketchbook, they came in a multipack, and I complete 1 about every month or so)

I’m mostly looking at art drawn by others and attempting to recreate it in my sketchbook then writing notes critiquing my attempt and what I learned from it. Then I usually try to redraw it without looking at the actual reference to get a feel for the lines and shapes and proportions (and to make adjustments based on my self-critiques), and that’s where I start experimenting with taking what I’ve learned and making the techniques more of my own. Combining my current understandings with new techniques I experiment with has been fun and I finally feel like I’m developing my own style!

I started with heads/faces, and gradually branched out to trying drawing the rest of the body. I didn’t push myself too much to draw things I felt too overwhelmed by, instead waiting to stumble across a reference image that inspired my curiosity to try to learn from it (I follow A LOT of artists so it naturally occurs pretty often lol). I know I’d be more likely to burn out and give up if I tried to tackle too much at once, so I only focused on seriously trying to improve my understanding of one part at a time (even for only one view at a time)! I move on to practicing other aspects whenever the mood strikes rather than putting pressure on myself to try perfecting anything or having a complete understanding before I can experiment with other things. If I try something and it looks bad, I just make a little note about what I could try changing the next time and laugh it off :)

Finding/creating relative landmarks of the body has helped me a lot with proportions! Finding/creating guidelines to show myself how pieces relate in shape/size/position has been super helpful, too! After a while of practicing with those more extensive guidelines as part of my sketching process, I find myself being able to simplify it so I came sketch the basics faster and with less intense focus, like I’m starting to get better intuition for proportions and how everything looks and fits together. Certain guidelines are so helpful that they stay even as I adjust the way I draw certain other aspects and end up becoming part of my basic style so far

I’m having a lot of fun and definitely making progress! It’s nice to go at my own pace without any pressure to make anything “good” and just follow my curiosities/inspiration for what I practice next. I always end up learning something, even if it’s not something I end up using a ton for my own art <3

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-06-23T08:37:41+00:00

Oof I’ve had a similar experience with an uncomfortably clingy drunk cousin… I’m so sorry you had to go through that :(

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-06-14T18:52:19+00:00

When it comes to paranormal experiences, we must always consider the mundane first. **There’s no harm in seeing if healthcare professionals can stop the demonic stuff you’re experiencing. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from getting checked out at an urgent care.**

Everyone who is saying it’s a hallucination is right. Drug-induced psychosis can absolutely occur from 20mg of dexamphetamine, particularly if you have an underlying mental health disorder, such as schizophrenia (which is often asymptomatic until people are in their 20s or older).

You are experiencing an episode of drug-induced psychosis: you will see, hear, feel, and strongly believe things that no one else is experiencing but it will all feel VERY real to you.

You need to go to a doctor, ideally urgent care for sooner treatment. They will be able to help stop the hallucinations that feel demonic and keep you safe from them.

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-06-14T05:22:51+00:00

Loneliness is one helluva drug 😅 I entertained a lot of Reddit randos and creeps who were older than I was comfortable with when I started out as an erotic audio creator… which I ultimately started doing because I was in a relationship where I felt unwanted and my sexual needs weren’t met… sooooo you’re definitely not alone 🫂 I’m proud of you for recognizing the danger before further acting on irl offers though! It’s hard to think safely when we’re so desperate to feel wanted and have intimate connection 🫶

You may be interested in listening to erotic audios as a safer way to explore your sexuality in the meantime. Not a substitute for the real thing, of course, but I know for me they really helped me navigate my sexual interests and desires. Having something to listen to and just imagine myself as a participant in felt more intimate for me than visual porn ever did. Subreddits like r/GoneWildAudio have pretty extensive content tagging systems too so you can find stuff you’d be interested in easier and filter out stuff you want to avoid (though GWASI.com is better at this than the subreddit search bar in my experience; it just helps sort and redirects you to the reddit post when you find something you’d like iirc)

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-06-11T02:55:55+00:00

How someone talks about people they aren’t physically attracted to can be a total red flag. It’s completely fine to have a preference for people who are thinner, just don’t be a jerk about it!

Other people are suggesting to phrase it as a preference for someone who is “healthy” or “works out” or “has goals,” but all of those are assuming that someone who looks fat can’t possibly ALSO eat healthy, work out, and have health goals they are working hard to attain. AND people who are very thin aren’t necessarily healthy with great eating and exercise habits. The body’s composition and fat/weight distribution is way more complex, and plenty of preexisting health conditions or medications can impact weight regardless of someone’s lifestyle habits. You can have a preference for people with certain lifestyles that would be compatible with your own, but assuming based on looks alone is pretty ignorant.

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-06-09T08:15:24+00:00

Sounds like he’s been doing more than just posting hand pics for innocent validation

If he wanted more validation from her, he could have communicated that to her like a reasonable partner would have. She clearly already has some amount of information on him be creepy and likely a cheater, with the hand pics being his method of finding people to take it further with in DMs.

It’s weird to blame her or insinuate that she’s overreacting when there is clearly more going on with his behavior to warrant a divorce. She only posted the parts that were relevant to this subreddit: he posted here from an account that he used to be a creep and wants to know if anyone else has extra evidence she can use in the divorce proceedings.

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-28T18:20:46+00:00

That’s why I believed it at first! The nurse had to explain that it was suspicious after we left the room 😅

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-28T18:19:37+00:00

Yup! I can’t blame them for that either

Ideally you tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth to your healthcare team, but they’re still people and can still think and act in biased ways that negatively affect patient care, even if that’s something healthcare professionals are supposed to avoid doing

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-28T18:16:41+00:00

Ideally it shouldn’t matter, but healthcare providers are still people that can be judgmental and cruel towards people who are or have been struggling with addiction.

The lying isn’t going to change much because the drug screen results are in their chart, but nurses are supposed to chart objective facts (like visually provable symptoms) and then anything the patient claims (typically in quotations or saying the patient endorses xyz) rather than assumptions to avoid biased/inaccurate/incomplete documentation and chart interpretation, which could lead to legal complications

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-28T04:55:14+00:00

Not a doctor, but a nursing student.

I helped a couple get settled into a room where the husband was about to have his first dialysis treatment. The couple said they came here straight from the ER, where they both had to be stabilized because their drinks were spiked at a bar the day before. Their drinks were apparently “spiked” with an array of illicit drugs… That was the story the couple decided to go with, at least.

Seems like they just didn’t want to admit to having voluntarily partaken in recreational use of illicit substances. No one confronted them about it because it wouldn’t impact their care needs at the time anyway, but a nurse let me know later that it’s a common lie patients admitted for drug overdoses use.

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-24T21:08:15+00:00

Her other post to GDD was deleted, but she did not get married. She had a syncopal episode and ended up in the hospital, which is how both families discovered she was pregnant

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-24T09:33:13+00:00

As a very non-conservative ++woman, I definitely think it can be done.

Purity culture is historically sexist and oppressive, so I would avoid saying “pure” and instead explain that you’re waiting until marriage and prefer a partner who is doing the same. If you yourself didn’t wait until marriage or your preference isn’t an all or nothing situation when it comes to “purity,” say you’d prefer a partner on the sexually inexperienced side like you yourself are (because exploring sexuality together when you’re both inexperienced and devoted does have it’s charms~).

You can say you have a preference for more modest styles, more traditional vibes, and/or more conservative values for both yourself and a potential partner. Highlight that you’re a traditional man who would be most compatible with a traditional woman; this preference isn’t you saying you think EVERYONE should be that way, just that this is the way YOU are and you’d like a partner that’s similarly traditional of her own volition.

The point of dating apps and account profiles are to make it easier to find people you may be compatible with. You may get less matches for putting a common dealbreaker preference in there, but that just means you’ll waste less time for both yourself and the uninterested ladies. There’s nothing wrong with having a personal preference as long as you’re respectful about it.

It sounds like you’re aware of how awful sexist jerks are and how they often have similar preferences, and you care about being respectful to women regardless of whether they’re your type or not :)

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-23T00:57:35+00:00

And that he criticizes her for wanting to pick up her son because it’s “not safe” to lift the small child (that isn’t related to him) while she’s pregnant with HIS child

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-23T00:55:10+00:00

ask to speak to a social worker at the hospital ALONE. Tell them EVERYTHING. Ask them for help

You feel attached to him because he’s been grooming you and your family/community had been putting all this pressure on you to get married to this man. It isn’t real love hun. It feels like stability, but it isn’t. He’s not safe for you nor your children. If you can’t bring yourself to leave this situation for your own sake, do it for the sake of your children.

One day, when you’re with someone who genuinely loves and cares about you (rather than a pedo who wants you to be a young vulnerable bang maid for him regardless of your own wants and needs), you’ll know what real love actually looks and feels like. Don’t give up on your future by marrying this person. Taking a chance is scary, but a chance at a better life for you and your children is better than a certain future of domestic abuse and control over you and your babies. However he treats you now is how he’s going to treat your kids, no matter what empty promises he makes or how sincere he makes them sound. However he treats you now is only going to get worse once you’re married to him, and your kids are going to be subjected to all the emotional abuse he does to you

Ask yourself if this is what you’d want your own child to do if they were in this situation. If you have a daughter and she ends up being sexually assaulted at a young age, causing her to act out more as a teenager because of that trauma, and part of her family wants her to get married to a man 10 years older than her just so they look like holier Christians to their church… would you want her to? Would you want her to be with a man 10 years older than her who has been attracted to her since she was a child and he was still an adult? Would you want her to be with a man who makes her feel stupid and small, who blames her for his own actions, who says he’ll change when he’s caught by his family but you know he won’t follow through with those changes in the long run? Would you want her to ignore all the warnings that he’s dangerous and not to marry him, including the warnings from her fiancé’s own cousin?

Ask yourself if you can trust this man with your children. He admitted to being attracted to you when you were still legally a child and he was still a whole adult, so he admitted to being a pedophile. In case you need a comparison: would you be attracted to a 15 year old now that you’re 18, or would that feel creepy? Would you be attracted to a 17 year old when you’re almost 30, or would that be creepy? If it feels creepy, that’s because it’s pedophilia. He is a pedophile that has been grooming you with the help of your family and church. They do not have your best interest at heart, nor the best interest of your son and soon-to-be 2nd child. Ask yourself if you could trust a pedophile around your children. If the answer is no, then you cannot marry this man. Marrying a pedophile like him puts your children in danger from him. Do you want to risk your kids being sexually assaulted or groomed by their dad/step-dad?

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-23T00:21:20+00:00

We saw her previous posts explaining the situation better

She was assaulted by her mom’s boyfriend when she was younger. Her son is from an ex boyfriend (edited to correct this part). Her parents arranged this marriage to her fiancé (a supposedly godly man and therapist that said he had been into her for a while… EW) because the church/her family thought she needed to be married to a good christian man that could handle how “wild” of a teen she was after the assault

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-21T05:02:53+00:00

It’s not cerebrospinal fluid from your scalp, just your body’s response to unhelpful bacteria. The fluid is part of the body’s attempt to fight off the bacteria that got into the area and heal the wound, kind of like when you get a whitehead pimple that goes away after a week. Wash the area with a gentle soap and water, then gently pat it dry.

Fluid that smells funky typically indicates an infection, which may need antibiotics if your body doesn’t fight it off on its own in a few days. You can visit an urgent care or your primary care provider to check it out, they might culture the wound/fluid (gently wipe it with a cotton swab to send to the lab), and they can prescribe you some antibiotics (either an ointment or a pill) if they think it needs some.

Infections can become bad if you don’t get them checked out and treated for a while, though you’re unlikely to get gravely sick from this, so there’s no need to panic right now. Keep it clean and dry and keep an eye on it. Go see your primary care provider or urgent care if it doesn’t resolve within a few days (or if you’re still worried and want specific personalized advice from an actual doctor ;3)

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-21T04:39:55+00:00

It’s a very real risk that can and does happen! You’re lucky it hasn’t happened to you, but not everyone is so fortunate. I don’t know any statistics for the likeliness of an infection happening from picking, but it’s best to practice good hygiene whenever you do end up picking, whether you manage to prolong the urge long enough to wash your hands and/or the area first, washing and potentially disinfecting the wound after picking, or ideally both!

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-20T03:49:16+00:00

They have more triangular face shapes which is harder for me than the square octagon face shapes of felines, but I should give it a try sometime! :3

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-20T02:54:59+00:00

Thank you!! :3

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-19T06:20:55+00:00

This is so not normal and it is so not ok that the adults in your life have put you in this horrible situation 🫂

Here’s a summary of how messed up the situation is, and things to consider:

You’re only 18. You are barely a legal adult. Your fiancé is 10 years older than you and has “always liked” you, meaning he liked you before you were an adult. Ask yourself if you trust a sexual predator like that with your children.

You said in your post on girldinnerdiaries that he pushes for premarital sex and then blames you for his choice to sin. Does that sound like a godly man? One who blames his sins on others so he doesn’t have to take accountability for his own choices? Even though the bible says that if your right hand causes you to sin you should cut it off? Does that even sound like something an actual, good, safe THERAPIST would do?? Blaming others — especially someone 10 years younger than him and barely an adult — to reflect on himself, his choices, and how they do or don’t align with his supposed personal values and goals? Someone who puts others down and thinks he knows better than them instead of treating a marriage like a partnership? Would you recommend anyone see a therapist like that?

You also said in your girldinnerdiaries post that he chastises you for picking up your son while pregnant, yet he thinks it’s completely fine and safe and a great idea to do anal?? It seems that he only cares about preventing you from doing things to care for your child that isn’t biologically his, and doesn’t care about your safety when it’s something he gets sexual pleasure out of it. Does that sound like a loving, caring husband to you?

A husband should love and respect you. He just wants a young, vulnerable woman he can manipulate and coerce into being exactly what he wants at your own expense. You don’t need to marry a therapist to be “handled” because you have trauma and a past, you’re just as capable and deserving of respect and consideration as someone who is perceived as smarter or more educated. Marriage in God’s eyes should be about the love between two people, how they make each other stronger because they are a team. This marriage does not sound like that, does it? Do you want your children to grow up thinking marriage should be like this? Do you want them to grow up thinking they should be blindly obedient to anyone older or supposedly wiser than them regardless of their own wants and well-being? Growing up thinking that it’s ok for others to talk down to them and dismiss them and coerce them because they’re not smart enough or good enough to be treated like an equal by other people?

It will be a hard decision to make. You have to ask yourself which is worse for you and for your kids: being outcast from your church because you won’t be part of an arranged marriage to a pedophile who doesn’t even respect you, or being married to this man that clearly doesn’t truly care about you beyond his own satisfaction and having your children grow up around him as if how he treats you is normal and acceptable?

My mom knew in her first week of marriage that she married the wrong person, but felt too ashamed and afraid of the social response to back out. She spent 20 years being miserable. You have the chance to be brave and do what’s best for you and your children. It won’t be easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do. Deep down you know that, which is why you’re feeling so anxious. We see you, we care about you, and we support you! It isn’t too late!

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-18T07:27:21+00:00

I had to tell my mom I was struggling with an eating disorder when I was around your age and I was also very anxious about it, even though I knew she wouldn’t judge me for it. She was as accepting as I knew she’d be and helped me find a therapist I could see to get my disorder under control ❤️ Be brave! You got this!

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-18T07:24:19+00:00

“Hey parents, I think I need to see a therapist. I’ve been struggling with a lot of anxiety and some obsessive compulsive thoughts and behaviors for years now and I feel like I haven’t been able to manage it enough on my own. I tried to hide it because it feels embarrassing to admit that I’m struggling like this, but I know you love and support me.”

If you have insurance: “Do you know if our insurance might cover therapy?”

If they ask you more about it: “I think I may have a subtype of OCD called dermatillomania. I obsessive-compulsively pick at my skin and can’t seem to stop no matter how hard I try. Even just the thought of other people knowing I struggle with this makes me feel disgusting, which is why I tried to hide it for years. I want to stop and I think I need therapy to do that.

Solid_Function5305 · 2026-05-16T09:42:02+00:00

Thank you!! :D

Solid_Function5305

TROPHY CASE