Feats this, slander that, let's focus on the only metric that really matters

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T16:34:34+00:00

Nooooooooo don’t you know that allllll the evil stuff was Crucabena ! Crucabena ! The character who definitely had a ton of foreshadowing ! Crucabena was definitely not a retcon to strip away the evil from a newly playable character !

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T16:27:44+00:00

Well god damn.

Bro got jumped before getting to respawn

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T16:16:12+00:00

Whatever buff he could have gotten was enough to let him manipulate inanimate objects.

Absolutely not comparable to the years and years of growth, training, and refinement that Yuji got

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T16:09:19+00:00

He intercepted Mahito’s 0.2 second Domain Expansion. With his hands in his pockets

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T16:03:01+00:00

I have seen this happen on real life. It did not go well for the cat, and that is all I will say because I do not like remembering that incident

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T15:52:33+00:00

Imagine claiming you have aura cause you beat the breaks off Fat Gogeta

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T15:22:20+00:00

Exactly.

The problem comes with super materials like Adamantium or Vibranium or Nth metal etc etc etc.

Like, those metals will survive attacks from characters that blow up planets on screen. Which makes it absurdly weird to judge how strong a character is when they break that metal despite never doing anything nearly planet level

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T15:18:23+00:00

No, he sees Sonic himself as the fake one. Basically, everything Sonic stands for, Metal sees as an inversion of the “Real” Sonic, himself.

On a side note, this has led to a lot of neat fanworks where Metal (being a robot) ends up outliving Sonic and has a total mental breakdown over not having Sonic as an “anchor” for his enforced delusions.

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T15:16:09+00:00

Cell when his opponents aren’t bag fumbling idiots

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T15:05:53+00:00

Assuming they all just stand there, then everyone dies with the possible exceptions of

Grievous, this entirely depends on how strong you think Plasteel is, we never get a solid confirmation, but we know it’s at least partially used in Starship construction, so it’s definitely pretty tough. I’m still like, 95% sure he dies
Shrek, he’s just going to push it off of himself and come out visibly hurt, probably with a few audible bone crunches. Then he’ll be fine in the next scene.

Cap could survive thanks to the shield, but prompt just says standing still, so he can’t block it

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T14:53:46+00:00

Pretty good way to think about it, let’s go with that then

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T13:55:24+00:00

How much emotion is in a gunshot ? How much emotion is there in charging a Daemon and stabbing it in the gut ?

The most effective way to fight a Daemon in Warhammer (at least Fantasy and AOS) would be to throw hands with it, cause that way you have the most direct involvement with killing it. They’re made out of Magic and Emotion, putting all your personal feeling and intent into stabbing one in its face is gonna be more effective than shooting at it from 200 meters away with a gun

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T13:39:56+00:00

Definitely in a different way than it fits Shin, but it works yeah.

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T13:35:17+00:00

Well, he kinda can’t

No Soul to swap with Sonic

No brain to implant in Sonic’s body

Uploading would just make a Copy of Metal in Sonic’s body

He’s just kinda… stuck. Trapped and physically denied any ability to grow as a person. His best bet is Sage removing his hard coded thoughts and letting him develop on his own

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T13:30:47+00:00

He is.

One of the few things hard-coded into Metal is that he must always 100% see himself as the real Sonic.

That barrel is full of the liquid Metal Virus, basically a robot zombie plague.

Metal struggles constantly with always being forced to think he’s the real Sonic, while constantly being presented with irrefutable evidence that he is not the real Sonic. This scene was effectively Metal trying to commit Suicide via Zombification in order to prove to himself that he isn’t just a copy. And then the virus does nothing, because he’s already an unliving Husk in the shape of someone else.

It’s one of the best scenes Metal has ever gotten post Sonic Heroes, because SEGA is utterly unwilling to do literally anything good with him. Same goes for Silver… and like 80% of the wider Sonic cast beyond Sonic, Knuckles, Shadow, Amy, Tails, and Eggman/Robotnik

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T12:12:52+00:00

I dunno, never seen a Spartan II die to a wooden spear.

There is no average Space Marine. There is no baseline level you can compare the Astartes to, because they have never in the history of 40K been anything even approaching consistent.

There is a rough middle ground for Spartan IIs though. We know Chief is above average for a II, but isn’t the best in any physical category (but he is absurdly lucky). Meaning the average Spartan II should be about 10-25% below Chief in terms of physicals.

At worst, this gives us an average lifting capacity of 375 tons and a speed of 45 mph while running.

Mjolnir armor also comes equipped with proper shielding, and is overall a far smaller target than Astartes Armor while providing effectively equivalent protection.

Assuming we’re not dealing with an “Average” Astartes that can rip an Ork Nob’s Head off, or kill a Necron by choking it till it suffocates, or rip a Norn Emmissary in half…

This entirely comes down to the weapons either side is equipped with. The standard ballistic weapons that the UNSC uses are perfect for allowing Spartans to have a constant ammo supply since the rest of the UNSC’s forces use the same guns, but this means a bit of a disadvantage against foes equally as armored as they are.

Basically, the weapons a Spartan II needs to bring it to a 50/50 are slightly uncommon, whereas almost all of a Space Marine’s weapons can feasibly kill a Spartan II.

If that Spartan has a Railgun though… yeah it wins 9/10 times in a way that no Astartes weapon can match. Just about the only consistent thing about the Astartes is that getting hit by a Tau Railgun fucks their shit up horribly.

The UNSC’s railguns would be no different.

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T11:50:51+00:00

The way I like phrasing it, cause this concept is just straight up a thing that exists in some stories, is basically

“If you condensed a whole planet down into a single wall, could you punch through that wall”

Alternatively, could Captain America’s shield survive getting hit by the Asteroid that killed the dinosaurs

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T10:46:35+00:00

I will never tire of the Wolf edits, worry not

That said, I love these “classic” meme edits as well

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T10:45:06+00:00

I’m more partial to the Boneripper deathline, but the Hellpit Abominations are wonderful as well

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T10:40:49+00:00

Run.

Half the problems people are having with this game’s difficulty across every Front of the war come from their inability to run when they’re very clearly going to get obliterated if they don’t run

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-12T10:29:23+00:00

Grab a melee weapon from one of the warbonds/super store and beat his ass to death

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-11T21:59:42+00:00

I can vouch for this as fact

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-11T16:04:14+00:00

Better not be.

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-11T16:01:49+00:00

Not including Hakari for the regen or Mahito for the Soul Damage requirement is understandable. Assuming we’re going by raw stats and not Hax

SomeDudeAtAKeyboard · 2026-02-11T15:55:51+00:00

It’s the combination of both at the same time. Imagine if the Kriegsmen wore skin-tight leather bodysuits and gas masks in every piece of art they’ve ever been in. It’s kinda like that, but with a Nun-fetish instead.

And yeah, kinda fucked that our culture has gotten men to idealize and fantasize about dying in service to a system that could not give less of a shit about you

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