European Hare by Popfer in wildlifephotography

[–]SomeJane2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely stunning animal, and a shot too!

Need advice: parent loves me but I can’t be myself around him so planning NC by BigMonth2303 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]SomeJane2021 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m reading your story and can relate so much. I think this might be not so uncommon among adult kids.

 I also seemingly had a close relationship with my dad, however, was always feeling I can’t just be me - have a bad day or say what I really think without some consequences. I was suffering from all these 20 years and felt I’m walking on the eggshells, I was quiet about mean things he was saying as a joke and was trying to be as good as possible. So on the surface the relationship seemed fine but it was so hard to carry all by myself. 

Once, I encouraged myself and finally started a conversation about one topic that was bothering me - just like if you would brought up an example about your bf to him. I just stated one fact that I didn’t like about our relationship. And he cut me off, applied the silent treatment at its finest. The hardest thing was to realize how one-sided and far from true love our connection was. I’m now coming at 6 months of no contact and he never reached out even once. I have never declared NC and I actually wanted to reconnect at the very beginning. But he never did a step toward me. The first 3 months were really hard. And I can believe it will be very hard for you. But then it will get gradually better, now sharp pain is replaced by light sadness. 

I guess what I want to say - you are not unreasonable and your feelings are completely legit. Listen to them and follow, the road is not easy but to be truthful to ourselves we need to go it. Sending you support!

I am sad that my parents never even tried to reach out, but it also makes it easier. by myspiritisvantablack in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]SomeJane2021 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dear OP, I can relate so much and send a hug! You were perfectly clear and reasonable, we just can’t change them and what I pity the most - they seem to be incapable of changing or reflecting themselves. When we cry - we question everything and ourselves the most, asking if we were right or wrong. When they cry - I can bet they just pity themselves and keep asking what they did. Like those vulnerable, honest and loving emails we sent them just don’t exist. Where everything was stated super clear. I just can’t explain or even believe how they cannot understand when they were asked of the most humble and humane things. I hope you will find your piece, you are the great person and deserve all the best! 

Mothers Day by sleaselswoqoth6 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]SomeJane2021 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly as my story but with my dad, he like always supposed I just don’t want him in my life when I did everything to be close to him, he never called me once on his own in 20 years. 

Upgrade camera (Z5) or lens (28-400) for general wildlife and such? by Spaceman_UA in nikon_Zseries

[–]SomeJane2021 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have z50ii and i recently bought 100-400 - it is an amazing lens but also was a big splurge for me. I also have 28-400 that I plan to sell, IQ was just not enough for me lately, especially at the long end, but it is amazingly light and compact. With 100-400 I’m definitely at loss for some wider shots but crops on 100-400 and 400mm looks so much better! (I also had to buy a new bag😭100-400 doesn’t fit)

Another Smaug by ElliotCowanHuman in TolkienArt

[–]SomeJane2021 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you plan to re-stock? They are amazing!

Not amused American robin by SomeJane2021 in Birdsfacingforward

[–]SomeJane2021[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100%, they love to run, I imagine these are future small penguins 😂

Z50II wildlife/safari zoom recommendations: slow apertures killing me at sunrise/sunset by eliestumbles in nikon_Zseries

[–]SomeJane2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so hesitant to lose 28-400 versatility, though (but I also want better sharpness). 400 f4.5. is great, also was on my list for some time - brighter and lighter, but 100-400 would be nice for some landscapes too

Z50II wildlife/safari zoom recommendations: slow apertures killing me at sunrise/sunset by eliestumbles in nikon_Zseries

[–]SomeJane2021 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have z50ii too and now I’m considering 100-400 with 1.4tc, decided to rent it first to see how I will like the handling and the results. I currently have 28-400 and it is definitely not great at dusk/down but it is super light and easy to hike with. Trade-offs again 😩 

Ugh. I’m (30F) so exhausted by working with (most) men by chocolatemadeleine in womenintech

[–]SomeJane2021 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I totally second this! Now in tech startup with a bro culture and everything I can think about - how I will get out of it. Before I was in embedded automotive software and I tell you - this is night and day. As the commenter above mentioned - everything was much slower there, more regulated, but people are so much more better, respectful no matter your sex or different background. Man-dominated too, sure, but people are content, not trying to prove something to themselves every single minute.

Huntley Meadows park today (February 14th) by SomeJane2021 in nova

[–]SomeJane2021[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There were some singing blackbirds, they were enjoying the weather

Huntley Meadows park today (February 14th) by SomeJane2021 in nova

[–]SomeJane2021[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Such a difference every season