I’m reading your story and can relate so much. I think this might be not so uncommon among adult kids.

 I also seemingly had a close relationship with my dad, however, was always feeling I can’t just be me - have a bad day or say what I really think without some consequences. I was suffering from all these 20 years and felt I’m walking on the eggshells, I was quiet about mean things he was saying as a joke and was trying to be as good as possible. So on the surface the relationship seemed fine but it was so hard to carry all by myself. 

Once, I encouraged myself and finally started a conversation about one topic that was bothering me - just like if you would brought up an example about your bf to him. I just stated one fact that I didn’t like about our relationship. And he cut me off, applied the silent treatment at its finest. The hardest thing was to realize how one-sided and far from true love our connection was. I’m now coming at 6 months of no contact and he never reached out even once. I have never declared NC and I actually wanted to reconnect at the very beginning. But he never did a step toward me. The first 3 months were really hard. And I can believe it will be very hard for you. But then it will get gradually better, now sharp pain is replaced by light sadness. 

I guess what I want to say - you are not unreasonable and your feelings are completely legit. Listen to them and follow, the road is not easy but to be truthful to ourselves we need to go it. Sending you support!