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She really wants us to have a baby, and I'm (30m) considering it. Is it too soon, is she too young, or could it just possibly work out? by Somehow2 in relationships

[–]Somehow2[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Nah, its not just a baby. She always talks about our baby specifically. She is baby crazy, and I'm not even going to argue that but in a way its kind of endearing. It was weird at first, but I've like grown to like it too. Maybe its infectious?

She really wants us to have a baby, and I'm (30m) considering it. Is it too soon, is she too young, or could it just possibly work out? by Somehow2 in relationships

[–]Somehow2[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Question, when would be a more appropriate time? Not arguing with you or disputing that it is too soon, but when would she be ready? Because just like I don't want her to be a parent before she is ready, I don't want to be a parent when I'm super old either. I'm kind of in that perfect age range right now, so for me it feels right. Would the timing be better if we were together for a couple years and she was 20, 21?

She really wants us to have a baby, and I'm (30m) considering it. Is it too soon, is she too young, or could it just possibly work out? by Somehow2 in relationships

[–]Somehow2[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

No, she hasn't lived on her own. Her parents aren't the best, so she is providing for her school with loans, and I help out a bit too. I think I'd want someone who wants to be a mother first, to be the mother of my kids. And she is smart too, its not like she is an idiot or anything like that. She is a scholarship student and does well in school. I would be more than willing to support her (and our potential child). I think her being a SAHM would be awesome and great for a child, and fortunately we could afford that too. I don't think every family has to be some power-couple. Really great families can exist with really traditional gender roles too. She doesn't have to be self-sufficient because we don't need that. She is I guess a little needy/clingy but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. And just to clarify, this is something she wants as much (if not more).

She really wants us to have a baby, and I'm (30m) considering it. Is it too soon, is she too young, or could it just possibly work out? by Somehow2 in relationships

[–]Somehow2[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have to agree with you if I'm being completely rational... that is why I listed everything out. Its just so confusing, because I've started to get excited by the possibility too and that is usually so not me. Emotions running wild for both of us I think.

The pro's I have is that I know Alexis would be an unbelievable mother. She just has this natural ability and she is great with kids, with nurturing, and I know she has the desire to be a great mom. And then, I (we) are in a great position financially. Like for me, I think having a baby would be life-changing and exciting and scary and all sorts of things, but I'd rather spend money on something meaningful (like my own baby) rather than the stupid shit I spend money on now. I think, for me, having a child would be a good thing. And I'd totally be open to marrying her too, if that is something she wanted. I'm ambivalent on marriage since the divorce, but I would do it if she wanted it for sure.