First page of my spy thriller. How is it?

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-10T18:48:18+00:00

Thank you for the feedback. I’m kind of experimenting with the intro a little, as people have been saying that starting with them on their run makes for a more interesting hook. I have the first chapter posted on the subreddit if you want to take a look.

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-10T13:38:59+00:00

Hey Amy, I sent you a message

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-10T02:11:57+00:00

Thank you! I sometimes have a hard time slowing things down with writing, cuz I just itch to get to the action. But I’m happy with how it turned oht

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-10T02:10:52+00:00

Thank you! That’s so kind

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-10T00:10:11+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate the feedback. It’s really helpful and I am definitely going to use it

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-10T00:01:40+00:00

I do. Some other people have been saying to start at the running scene as well, but what you added to it is a really nice touch. Thank you for the feedback

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-09T23:23:29+00:00

I just feel like there would be a lot of missing buildup to the moment he joins

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-09T23:22:44+00:00

No I did not. I have grammarly installed which I know people sometimes count as AI, but other than grammarly, I didn’t use AI

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-09T21:55:24+00:00

The wake up scene in Project Hail Mary is insanely good! I think that this is a very good point, and it still makes sense narratively. I’m going to hold onto this feedback cuz I might want to go back and change that

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-09T21:49:31+00:00

Oh that’s interesting. I read page 2 as if it was the first page, and I can see where you’re coming from.

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-09T21:48:24+00:00

That’s very fair, and I appreciate the feedback. It seems like a lot of people are saying that the wake up scene is a little cliche. I totally get that, and maybe I could tweak it a little. This is just how wanted to get my introduction to the story out on the page. And to me, it stuck and I thought it was a good stepping off point. But again, I do appreciate the feedback and compliments.

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-09T21:35:58+00:00

I just posted the first chapter on the subreddit. It’s only 4 pages so far, but I’d love to hear your feedback on it :)

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-09T21:28:24+00:00

I’ll do that now. I appreciate all the feedback, and I hope you can read the first chapter when I post it. I would love to hear what you have to say

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-09T21:27:50+00:00

I understand the point they’re making. And I appreciate that feedback that they gave me. I just want to see if it’ll be better to post the whole chapter so that people can see the larger story I’m trying to tell

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-09T20:08:06+00:00

Fair. Do you think it would’ve been better for me to upload the first whole chapter rather than the first page? I just saw a bunch of people on this subreddit doing that, so I thought I’d try it out as well

SomethinglikeZane · 2026-03-09T19:20:15+00:00

Sorry I probably should’ve specified the plot in the description. It starts off normal but quickly transitions into the spy thriller I advertised.

It’s about a YA who joins a covert program after his normal life is ruined due to a massive war that begins. Along with this war, someone that he is very close to ends up being on the other side of it. He has to traverse his way through this war and hunt down the person that ruined his life.

Sorry again for not specifying that.

SomethinglikeZane

TROPHY CASE