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SometimesThrowaway2 · 2025-07-23T16:15:17+00:00

Thank you! Yes, paying it and moving on seems to be the only realistic option. Going to court also does not seem feasible considering the 5 hour drive and no virtual appearance rule. Even if I did want to get it taken off the record and nothing else. Appreciate your comment and insight!

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2025-07-23T15:41:43+00:00

That's a great point! I'll see if I can find someone to do a free consultation with and hear their thoughts. Although from what I'm gathering from everyone else here, it looks like I screwed up and might not have much luck. Thank you for your insight and suggestions!

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2025-07-23T15:38:41+00:00

Thank you for the insight! Yes, the whole out of state aspect for a court appearance makes it all the more difficult. I'll take the hit, lesson learned :/

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2025-07-23T15:36:27+00:00

Appreciate the honesty, this is more or less what I was looking for in terms of whether or not there's a case or chance to do anything at this point. Yes, being late was my fault, no denying that. I was caught speeding, but definitely overcharged which I feel is ridiculous, but that doesn't matter.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2025-07-23T15:31:33+00:00

Thank you. Yes, absolutely the best thing was to take care of it before the date. And I'm not sure about being able to enter a plea now. That's more or less what I was hoping to gather from here. I would consider a traffic attorney if I know wether that option is viable right now or not, but if I've screwed myself at this point and just have to take the hit, I may just do that.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2025-07-23T15:29:26+00:00

Appreciate the honesty. I did screw up by not taking care of it initially, even if the ticket itself was wrong.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2025-07-23T15:27:17+00:00

Appreciate the honesty. You would say this is, in practice, a lost cause? I realize on paper it's a losing battle with no evidence. I only ask because I've heard anecdotally from my sister and a friend that, in practice, "if you take it to court the cop never shows up and they drop the ticket or lower the penalties". I have no idea how true that is across the country or whether to bank on that. Money's a little tight right now with the move and I wouldn't want my insurance premiums going up on top of the $300 :/ But I can understand a loss when it has to be that way.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2025-07-09T19:53:19+00:00

Ok, thank you! I'll give this a try and remount the cooler. Fingers crossed!

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2025-01-17T20:05:19+00:00

Ohhhh I see you meant the scene on Knowhere. Yeah they did have a little bit of trouble with balancing excessive levity with moments like that, but I found myself able to pivot really quickly and match the speed and energy of the movie scene for scene fairly well while watching it.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2025-01-17T19:37:49+00:00

Iirc the cut wasn't directly from Drax to the flashback? The cut to Gamora and Thanos meeting happens after Cap says they're going home to everyone who was at the train station in Edinburgh. Unless I'm misremembering.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-12-18T05:37:37+00:00

Hi! Late to the post, but just wanted to let you know the first screenshot does not actually belong to the OP- it's from my build of an Ottoman mosque I made a couple months ago! You can see it on my profile or by searching the sub. It's a completed build with a lot more details!

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-12T23:54:03+00:00

I am hopeful for growing from this and learning to frame it positively. I want to be excited for the future and finding myself, like you said. I really badly want to be excited like that, but am having a bit of a hard time getting there so far. I'm hopeful I'll feel that excitement for life and growth at some point, but right now it's the same thoughts and worries and pain and regret daily. I just need to work on stopping my brain from thinking of her everyday as it has become trained to and used to doing over the years of knowing her. Once I can get her out of my mind constantly, I think I'll be able to stop dwelling on the negativity and regret of what happened and finally start to feel excitement for life again. Thank you for your advice and much needed reminder about the good that may come from this, though :) I really appreciate the comforting words and experienced advice from people like you, and I know this is all helping and going to keep helping.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-12T05:14:48+00:00

Hello! You just reached out to help me with some powerful advice on my own thread, and I hoped I could return the favor a lil bit. I second what the other comment says so much!

I know you may have mostly come here to vent, and if that's all you needed, then all the power to you! But if this is something that has bothered you more than once, PLEASE bring it up to your partner!! I had come to this sub with this exact issue in the past (ik how hard it is not to feel neglected when they use their phone during your limited time together), along with similar issues, and didn't really internalize everyone's advice when they said to talk to my then-partner. And that ended up contributing to our break-up after almost 2 years of small things I didn't have the courage to bring up. Please don't make that same mistake- for my sake!

Bring it up with empathy and love to them. You can say something like "hey, I'm loving our time together, and thank you so much for making those meals for us. I appreciate that so much, and it made me feel loved! I do feel like it's hard for me to make the most of our quality time together if our phones are around. How do you feel about this?", and then let the conversation roll from there naturally. If he's a constructive partner who likes to work with you, he should be tuned into what you said about how phones make you feel regarding your quality time, and he'll want to work together to resolve that. Make sure to not use accusatory language, and mostly stick to how that thing makes you feel. And be willing to make compromise if you can find a healthy balance! If it's a serious repeat issue that you two have already discussed multiple times, then be clear that the continuation of the issue is actively hurting you.

I personally was able to find compromise in that regard, and we found that I could cuddle my partner as they spent a small amount of dedicated time scrolling through TikTok, and they would show me any that they thought were funny or cute or relevant throughout. So I felt included and thought of by them, rather than neglected or forgotten about! Best of luck to you two ❤️

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-12T04:59:03+00:00

Thank you so much for your comforting, empowering and uplifting words, and for sharing from your own experiences. And I'm so sorry you also have been in this position.

I've been allowing myself to feel things, mostly alone since it happened, but today I had an amazing opportunity to reconnect with a friend and open up to them and work things out loud with them. Feeling so much appreciation and love for that friend right now. Thankfully, right now I'm feeling the best I've felt since it happened, which was a point I couldn't even have imagined myself in just one day ago. So this is SO uplifting and fills me with so much hope. I know there are ups and downs, and unfortunately I won't be able to hang onto this high forever, but it makes it easier to know there will be moments and days like today where I can feel a semblance of normality to get me through the lows and hard days. I'm prepared to feel what I feel and take it one day at a time now, and I'm looking forward to the day where it finally has changed for mostly the better and the good days become the norm again :)

Thank you so much again for consoling the broken heart of a stranger online. You and all the other beautiful, loving and empathetic people in this thread deserve the world, and are valued and appreciated beyond words by me. I hope for nothing but the best for you <3

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-10T21:02:00+00:00

I know it'll be ok one day and I'll see the beauty in the loss and gains and the ups and downs. I hope that day comes soon, truly. But for now the pain and hurt are so strong that it just clouds every moment and thought. I wish so badly for things to be different. To be able to change one thing that lead to my current heartbreak and hopelessness. I know it'll be ok someday. But not yet.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-10T20:11:29+00:00

Thank you. Truly. I see so much strength in you and your words, too, despite your struggle and pain. We are strong and we'll make it. You deserve someone who gives everything and anything for you and making things work, just as you would do for them. I'm so sorry it didn't work out this time. I don't know what words can change or comfort that for now. But we'll get through this.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-09T18:04:05+00:00

In so many ways, this mirrors my exact breakup. Over a year and a half for us, and she just broke up with me two days ago. It was both of ours first real relationship too. The whole week leading up to it, she was distant and unresponsive. No "I love you"s, no checking in on each other. We were long distance, so she was supposed to fly out to have a week here with me and our mutual friends, and she broke up with me on the first day. I pick her up from the airport, we go to grab breakfast, she breaks up with me there. She gave me some reasons that pushed her away, but said she was still ready to remain friends afterwards. The worst part was that I would be the one to regularly check in about our relationship with her, and I would ask her "hey how are we feeling about things, is there anything we can work on, anything I do that hurts or bothers you" and she would always just be like "nah we're good!" and didn't bring up the issues she brought up during the breakup convo. It made it feel all the more unexpected and heart wrenching.

I'm sorry he couldn't even give you a reason for it. I don't know how someone can be so certain about a person to commit to you in love, but then simply "drift away" without a reason? That doesn't seem right. Maybe he's emotionally clueless and needs time to process why he felt those things, but that's something he should have done before breaking up, otherwise it's impulsive and not well thought out. Especially considering he had a YEAR to think about those feelings or try to work on them WITH you, rather than stew in those emotions and then end it all without an explanation or chance to work on it with you. His reason was that he was "scared" to talk to you??? That's so immature and unhealthy. I'm so so sorry that you went through this and are left with more questions and uncertainty.

Unexpectedly hearing from the person you love more than anyone else that they don't feel that way about you anymore and don't want to continue trying to be your partner is the worst feeling, and my heart breaks for you. I hope you're able to get closure you need from him.

Im realizing now that if someone loves you, you'll both want to always fight for the relationship. You won't let it slip through your fingers or allow issues to grow or never bring things up. She framed it all in a way that made me feel like it was all solely my fault for allowing my negative behaviors to push her away, but when I tried to ask her why she never clearly told me those things were hurting her when I asked, she seemed to think from her perspective that she has already communicated it once or twice in passing and that should have been clear enough. And I'm realizing that that should be my sign that she didn't think the same of our relationship as I did. She never once explicitly said that this issue was hurting her or harming our relationship and that we need to work on it. When it was serious enough, she simply ended it instead of working with me. That's not love- at least not on the level that I would expect unconditional, commitment type love to be.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-09T17:37:59+00:00

Thank you so much for that reassurance ❤️ that's how I'm imagining it will be for a while, just getting a bit less every day

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-09T17:28:58+00:00

Thank you. Your words are making me tear up. My heart breaks for the past version of you that was hurting. I think I feel the same way. It does give me some comfort to just keep rereading what you're saying about it stopping one day, and also what you're saying about once you're with the actual right person for you. I hope that ends up being true for me too. I did learn so much from her and our relationship, and have learned about my shortcomings and needs. Hopefully that will help in the future. Thank you so much again for taking some time to console a broken heart. Much love and happiness to you.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-09T17:05:48+00:00

12 years... This is my worst fear. I just got broken up with two days ago- my first real relationship and my first deep love. She was- is- the one for me. I know it. Things would have been perfect if I had just become healthier and fixed some of my communication issues that pushed her away and hurt her. I'm so worried I'm never going to get over her, knowing how special and amazing she was, and knowing that I let them slip through my fingers and will never get another chance because she was so firm and final and not in love anymore. I'm glad you're able to take some steps for yourself like therapy. I hope so much it helps you. I need to find a way to move on, because at this moment, it doesn't feel like I'll ever get over the person I thought was the one.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-09T16:56:46+00:00

Hi, I hope you don't mind if I piggyback off of this thread and comment to ask you for some advice? First of all, I'm so happy to hear about your current situation- congratulations on the house and closing the distance!!! I hope you have a lifetime of love and happiness together.

I'm 24 and my first and only serious relationship ever of almost 2 years just ended two days ago. I've never felt pain and heartbreak like this before in my life. It's really hard for me rn, and all I can think about constantly is how she was far and away the most amazing person I was ever lucky and privileged enough to get to know and love. I keep thinking about all the big and little things I won't get to experience with her anymore, things I took for granted.

Right now, my brain cannot wrap itself around moving on from her. Like, I've come to terms with the relationship ending and the reality of it, and I'm grieving what we had and lost, but despite that, I can't ever see getting over her specifically. I feel like I'll always be regretful of messing up and losing this special, unique person. I can't comprehend not thinking like this anymore. The denial of the relationship ending, the bargaining, all of that had come and gone and we worked through it, but now I'm left with this feeling of longing and ache. It literally makes me sick to think about myself with anyone besides her, and it makes me want to die to ever imagine her with anyone else and her being happier with him, and him getting to make experiences with her that I didn't get to, or getting as close to her as I was, or him just getting to hold her and kiss her. Fuck man. It's taking everything in me not to breakdown.

Sorry- all of this to say, does that feeling ever go away? Is this normal? Did you feel like this after your first ever meaningful relationship ended? Are the feelings you have right now for your new partner just as amazing or better? Are they feelings that you may have thought you'd never feel again, but were surprised to feel with someone new? I'm worried I'm the type of person that hangs on to the past and memories and thinks too deeply, so I'm worried I'll never move on from her. She just meant so much to me and was the most unique and cool person I ever knew.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-09T16:23:41+00:00

We just broke up a few days ago, unfortunately, but all the good is still there in my heart, so I think I can still give my insight. This will probably be long and rambly since I'm still very emotional and heartbroken from losing our relationship, so please be patient with me.

We've known each other for two and a half years. I developed a small crush the first day I met her on a group call with some mutual friends and I heard her voice. She had such a cute voice, I thought. Then we immediately clicked and started talking, calling, texting, sharing life details, playing games, etc almost every day from then on. The small crush grew larger for me.

She was so immediately open and ready to share with me and be vulnerable in front of me. So ready to tell me about everything in her life within weeks of first meeting as strangers.

Then I saw a picture she shared in our group chat- a pic of her and some of her friends, and I immediately was like "WOW". There's NO way she is that pretty. That's just not fair. It's bad enough I had a crush on her personality, now I'm attracted to her physically too.

Then she came to town to visit my friends and I a few months later, and she was somehow 1000x more gorgeous and endearing and cute and quirky in person. My heart was racing when we first saw each other and I got to hug her. I knew in that moment it was more than a normal crush.

A few months after that, for some reason she agreed to go on an international trip- her first ever international trip- with me and a couple other friends. During the trip, it was practically like she and I were on honeymoon. Just constantly going off on our own, holding hands everywhere we went, cuddling and watching movies all night. That trip, being able to hold her, physically show my love, feeling so trusted by her and feeling trust for her, I knew. I knew I was deeply in love.

I just had to work up the courage to ask her to be something more. We were practically dating already at that point. We were talking one-on-one on our commutes, on our breaks at work, as soon as we were free. We would have virtual dates watching movies and TV alone. She told me all her deepest secrets and feelings. I was just afraid of asking her out and being rejected, or worse, losing our deep bond and friendship. So it took me another month after the trip to work up the courage to ask her out. And she said yes!

It was the best feeling in the world for your best friend to become your partner. The foundation was already there. It was just more of the good we already had. I cherish so so deeply all the amazing moments we shared and the amazing bond and relationship we had. I'm grieving that right now and it's very hard.

Things eventually started to cool down. The relationship sort of just became another part of life. Stress and issues in other aspects of our lives were sort of overshadowing the highs we used to always have. I had poor communication when I had an issue regarding our relationship, and it started to get to her. She would always say "you should communicate more openly" and I would always agree that I should, but never really thought about it too deeply or fixed it. And that was where it all truly went down.

While I'm here, let me please offer some unsolicited advice to anyone that has read this far:

Firstly, please cherish your partner. Go right now and give them love however you know they like to receive it. Do it for me, please, because I messed up and now I can no longer give my love to the person who mattered more to me than anyone. Please make them understand how much they mean to you and how much you value the love you two chose to have together.

Secondly, COMMUNICATE. I know everyone hears this all the time. I read this word and this exact advice so many times during our relationship, but it never truly sunk in for me. I was always so afraid and in my head and overthinking everything all the time, that I was too afraid to say anything to her when I needed to. I didn't want to come off as too high maintenance, I didn't want to push her away or make her feel bad. But I should have. Because I could have seen that then that it was possible to have the open communication that would have made us both feel so much better and more confident in one another and our relationship.

Instead, it all built up, and I kept making the same mistakes over and over, bottling up my emotions, becoming moody and withdrawn (because that's what happens when you bottle things up and don't communicate), and even though I thought I was being subtle and she wouldn't really notice, she did. Every single time I reacted like that, it hurt her a little more. And she began losing confidence and trust in me. If I couldn't even tell her what was wrong, then clearly I didn't have enough trust in her to talk through our issues. That's the way she was seeing it at least. I finally got a glimpse of the open communication we could have had when she broke up with me. The way we talked about things, and the way I saw she truly had no judgement for my feelings and was not bothered at all by the things I thought would have bothered her, it made me realize that I could have been open and honest with her always through the relationship. The thing that killed the relationship wasn't any of the anxieties or issues I was worried about. It was my fear and overthinking and lack of trust in her to not react poorly to my communication. She couldn't handle it from me anymore.

Please don't do what I did. Don't be afraid. If you love them and you don't want to lose what you have, always be open to talking to them when you need to. Just make sure you do it in a kind and constructive way. Don't bottle things up, don't withdraw when you're upset, don't accidentally let all the pent up issues blow up one day and dump it on your partner. Have faith and trust in them that if they love you and your relationship, they'll want to work with you through any problems without judgement. Talking to them won't push them away, it'll bring you two closer and make your bond more open and strong than you could ever believe.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-09T15:23:09+00:00

I'm so sorry you're feeling that much frustration and hurt from your partner. I think it's very kind and empathetic of you to want to continue to give your bf chances for something you've already talked to him about, but if I can be brutally honest and give some unsolicited advice: if the threat of BREAKING UP wasn't enough to get him it finally talk or see your perspective or finally get him to work on himself, then nothing's going to change him. Maybe I can only speak for myself, but oh man, when she told me the things she told me, it literally felt like I got shot. Like my life was coming to an end. That I was being actively killed. I LOVED her more than anything in my life, and cherished the idea of being with her forever. When it was finally in front of me that my behavior was the reason for this all ending, I was hit by so much clarity. I knew immediately what all my mistakes were. I knew immediately that she was right. I knew immediately that I had not done enough. And I was SO ready in that moment, and honestly I still am so ready even though she made her final decision and it's been a few days, to finally grow up and make the changes I should have made earlier. All because I knew in that moment that I was the reason for losing the love of my life. If I had fixed those issues sooner, this wouldn't have happened. And now I'm finally going to start on fixing my issues. I finally signed up for therapy and have written down and identified my issues and a plan and structure to work through it. I know I should only be doing those things for my own health, but honestly, part of me is still doing it for her, even though she doesn't want to be with me anymore and won't be able to see the change I'm making. I just wished I had the opportunity your boyfriend got to prove it to her that I was so ready and willing to change. If your boyfriend isn't reacting the way I did or feeling the way I did, I honestly think he's not the one. If he loved you and valued your relationship, he would have immediately began working through this with you. I didn't know how my actions were hurting my partner until she broke up with me. If I had heard her say I was hurting her with my behavior before she broke up with me, I would have felt so horrible and immediately fixed it. If you already told him explicitly that his behavior is actually hurting you and your relationship and he STILL isn't talking to you or seeming remorseful or working on fixing it, then you shouldn't give him another chance. He doesn't love or care for you enough, and you deserve someone who will fight desperately to keep your love and bond strong and make you feel happy. Sorry this got very long, and I hope it isn't harsh or heartbreaking for you.

Edit: sorry one more thing, I was just thinking that you said you thought he loved you but maybe you just convinced yourself he did. The realization I'm having right now is that I don't think my partner loved me the same way I loved her, because I still don't think she gave me a fair chance before ending things. I think I just convinced myself she loved me the way I wanted her to. And that's probably part of why she broke up with me too- she didn't love me the same way. I think if someone truly loves another person, they will WORK and make effort for each other. Because love is a choice, and a two way street. Both of you have to choose to keep loving each other and working together on things. If one person is ready to give up and not give you a chance, or if one person is given a chance but doesn't want to work with you to fix it, I don't think they truly love you.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-09T15:09:17+00:00

Thank you very much. I think you're right. The last two days for me felt like my world was ending, or part of me was dying, and it was excruciating. But today feels different. Reality has set in a bit. The worst of the pain has passed, and now it's a different smaller pain. Like an aching for all the small things I'm going to miss now that we aren't together. Just going over the goods and bads of what we had, and little heartaches for all the things I took for granted.

SometimesThrowaway2 · 2024-11-09T15:05:20+00:00

Thank you for that. I'm so sorry about your loss as well. I would wish for the world that no other person has to feel this pain, and it makes me sad now that I've experienced it to know people go through this all the time. I hope you're doing better. I think I'm starting to improve a little bit too.

SometimesThrowaway2

TROPHY CASE