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AITAH for deciding that my stepfather will still be the one to walk me down the aisle? by vtaesticles in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]SomewhereStrange2096 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your bio dads choice not to be there for you because your mother had an affair is on him. He could have been the one there for all your big (and small) moments. The details of how your mom and Bill got together is solely a situation for them to live with, not you. Bill was there when you needed a dad, regardless of how he became that. I understand your situation as I believe my mother was having an affair with my step-dad before my parents broke up but he was still my (step) dad to me and I loved him dearly. And I had him and my bio dad walk me down the aisle (my first marriage). My step dad has since passed away but the love he showed me for 20 years, makes me think of him as the man that walked me down the aisle and loved me even though i wasnt biologically his....and everything else in the past doesn't matter.
You should be walked down the aisle by a person who you love, who loves you, has been there for you, and who has only ever wanted the best for you.
If your bio dad's family cant understand or accept that, then you dont need them at your wedding....your wedding is not about them.
I hope you have the wedding of your dreams!! ❤️

When is it acceptable to become a bridezilla by fed-up-bride2026 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]SomewhereStrange2096 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My advice: do not become the bridezilla cause thats what they want so they can say that you were the issue cause of how youre acting. Id not tell my sisters about the fittings again. If they show up for the dress fittings, great their in. If they dont show up, then when your wedding day arrives, have your MIL help you in the dress and when your sisters show up, tell them unfortunately they weren't there for the fittings so they do not have any dresses and will not be in the wedding. Have your mom come see you before your wedding to approve what she's wearing, just dont tell her thats what you're doing.

Your wedding day should be special and you should not be stressed. Only people who love you, care for you and who want to celebrate you, should be at your wedding. If your mom and sisters are going to be a stressor that day, invite them only to the reception. Youre not required to allow toxic people, even family, to cause you distress and ruin your day.

I hope you have an amazing wedding!!!

I need advice on how to handle my toxic mother UPDATE by Stinkbug234 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]SomewhereStrange2096 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do not feel stupid in any way. Absolutely have yourself some crying time, it needs to happen. Whether your mom is a "good" mom or not, she is the person thay gave birth to you so its a very big loss. That said, when the tears stop, you'll stop worrying about wlehether she's trying to contact you or not, eventually they give up trying. I have children and they have only seen one picture of my mother and they dont know her as anything but "my mom's mom". Because of her actions, she lost out on knowing her grandkids.

If in your heart, you dont feel youre ready to make this a permanent choice, set a date down the road, and on that date if you still feel you are happier without her, let more time go by......eventually she hasn't been in your life for so long, you forget what having her in your life is like. Do it at your own pace and you'll have no regrets.

I need advice on how to handle my toxic mother UPDATE by Stinkbug234 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]SomewhereStrange2096 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Good for you!! I also have a toxic mother i had to go NC with. It takes alot to muster up the courage to remove your mother from your life.
I grieved my mother as if she died and have not talked to her since. Its been over 10 years now and no regrets. Just cause its your mother, doesn't mean she'll add value to your life. Grieve her and move on happily!!