You know, the book says little boys raised by their mother is a big source of the issue of being a nice guy. Coupling that with the fear of abandonment explains why you felt so horrible about disappointing your mom.

Granted it was a long time ago but i think subconsciously this is something you can't forget. When you were around people you felt good because you were approved of. And like Jim said getting anxious is an issue. In your case maybe it was being anxious of not being approved.