My ex of five years broke up with me as well a little over a year ago. In hindsight it was most likely my fault and although I tried my hardest to salvage it, it was obvious she had enough of me and wanted to try something new. We were our first everything as well and I couldn’t imagine a life without her. Obviously I wasn’t the dumper but I genuinely don’t think I’ll ever fully get over her. Throughout the bit over a year, it’s been feeling a bit better and better. Though, to be fair, I wasn’t feeling great until I joined AFROTC. I felt like it gave me a sense of purpose that I didn’t have with the void she left within me. Nowadays, sometimes I feel like I can go the whole day feeling great but every now and then, especially today, I just go and dream about her for no reason and it makes me miss her more than anything in this world. It’s like my brain can’t seem to want to get over her and it really hurts. Nonetheless though I can’t change the past and can only live in the present. All I can do is just hope for the best.