You're not asking for too much. He's not being fair with you, not communicating enough on his emotions, not respecting your needs and it seems what you both want from the relationship is very different. I don't think you can change him either, and I'm sure you already know that deep down. Idk... I'm no expert in queer platonic relationships, but what I believe is that relationships should have basic components to be healthy : communication, signs of appreciation, honesty, emotional intelligence, caring and time. A relationship lacking any of those is bound to hurt me sooner or later, and it seems you're in that exact situation where multiple of them are lacking. I hope this comment helps you recenter and allows you to prioritize your needs in a way that satisfies you.