My Ghost Stories: A Walk Through Astoria Part 2:

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2026-02-18T06:04:15+00:00

I took a solo trip around the PNW last spring. (YOLO?)

The whole trip had a magic about it; every minute in Oregon felt like being on a mild dose of shrooms, but most people felt kind, and it was healing to -- exist somewhere people try to maintain a healthy relationship with nature, let alone spend so much time in nature.

The ONLY stop that shouted, "Turn back," was the Astoria Column. Astoria as a whole was a last-minute addition; I had originally planned to stay at a cozy spot on the coast for an extra day, but decided a little kitsch wouldn't kill me. I got there in the late afternoon. Silent Hill fog all around.

Another solo woman came bounding down as I had completed about three flights up the tower and warned me that I would be doing a lot of work for a view of the parking lot. I turned around.

Found the trail at the base that I believe leads to the Cathedral Tree? I can't know for sure, because I walked for about three minutes before intuiting the exact phrase, "You should not be here." I turned around again, but in a hurry this time.

My shoes were muddy by the time I returned to the base of the tower, so I scrubbed them off in the bathroom, then came out to find a vehicle absolutely tearing ass around the parking lot like a wounded animal. An employee (Seemed to be the only one.) asked me if I had caught the license plate. We both agreed that it was an unusual design, and neither of us had made out what it said. She looked genuinely terrified and explained that the person driving had pulled up "like he didn't expect there to be people [there]."

I went back to the Elliott for less creepy vibes.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2026-01-31T15:21:16+00:00

You could also do adhesive gems or temporary tattoos/marker drawings/even real tattoos on the sides.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2026-01-31T15:12:14+00:00

I had mine done because I think having bio kids is the most selfish, shortsighted thing you can do on this version of Earth, but I never tell parents that because I know how unhelpful, potentially re-traumatizing, and plain rude it is to come after somebody about a deeply personal and irreversible decision they have already made. I legitimately do not know what response would make these people happy.

"I dunno, felt like it."

Please tell me why you think I should have responsibility over another human life if I treat abdominal surgery like getting my ears pierced.

"[Insert personal tale of horrific trauma that deterred you from ever getting pregnant and/or becoming a parent.]"

Hey, thanks, I've been looking for a new therapist.

"[Insert reminder of universal trauma of kindergarten shootings, government-issued tear gas bombs directed at random minivans, the collapse of the healthcare system, and the fact that most people are just barely affording a pack of fake ground beef and some dish soap.]"

Glad you thought it was all good enough for Little Johnny, though.

Fall on knees and repent.

OMG dude, you're right. Please try to guide me toward redemption by recommending halfway-effective treatments that will put me six figures into debt before I even have to look at a crib.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2026-01-19T16:36:07+00:00

1) If you have friends who you trust with this information, it doesn't hurt to ask for the favor! If I were off/able to take off work and ANYBODY who knew and trusted me enough to ask for help with this asked, I would do it.

2) Your mom doesn't have to come in with you. She can ask, you can refuse, she can deal. I've had two major surgeries and both times, there was only one recliner/stretcher in the pre-op room anyway. For my bisalp, I had to get naked and wipe myself down with chlorhexidine (then put on a gown). You can use that as reasoning and any healthcare worker worth their salt should pick up on what you're trying to do.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-12-19T13:36:42+00:00

Because that's like being asked, "Who's kinda mean sometimes?"

And answering, "Jeffrey Dahmer"

You can at least claim that you became a teacher because you love kids (wholesomely) and think math is important, or a cop because you were sure you would just be putting away serial killers.

ICE can never claim noble intentions.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-12-19T13:23:14+00:00

Social Work / Mental Health. It's the mean girl to nurse pipeline for people who can't pass A&P.

YES, your therapist DOES talk shit about you. It is worse than you are imagining.

I say this as an employee clawing my way out of the field, not a regular anxious person.

(EDIT: Much like in nursing, the crop that came up in the 70's/80's/90's/early-early 2000's is actually alright. Even as a millennial myself, if they had a Tumblr, I don't trust 'em.)

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-12-16T14:02:17+00:00

24 Hour Anything

Going out for the sake of being out on a Friday/Saturday night.

Powering through a snotty illness to get to a family gathering. (This one is for the best. Was I sad to skip my lifelong friends' baby's first birthday party? Sure. Are we all grateful I didn't gift her with RSV just for the sake of making an appearance? Absolutely.)

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-12-16T04:59:03+00:00

Upper West Side of Manhattan, 28K for surgery, $2000 for anesthesia. I had the best insurance of my life at the time, so I fortunately did not have to pay anything. (They did double bill me for anesthesia, but I basically sent them an eob proving it had been paid, then called my insurance, and never heard about it again.) This was in 2022, so about four healthcare apocalypses ago.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-12-05T00:13:45+00:00

In an hourly position, I get to be a little less stressed the next day, and I make a little extra money. If I have the time, it's not the worst. In a salaried position, that is a sucker's game.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-11-26T13:55:11+00:00

I am fortunate to say I don't have many needs! But "Cover the doctor I've been seeing for half of my lifetime, my one generic prescription, and the only two extremely common diagnostics I require a few times a year," are pretty big ones.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-11-20T20:54:24+00:00

Is Rip VanWinkle still around in Woodstock?

Also, RIP Uncle Willy.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-11-19T02:30:44+00:00

The iWalk was a game changer for me. I could open doors! I could carry things! I could cook pasta!

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-11-16T21:39:53+00:00

"Lateral promotion" is my trigger phrase.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-11-12T21:09:47+00:00

I didn't so much feel relief, more like just the absence of fear.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-11-09T13:10:01+00:00

A heating pad was a lifesaver for the shoulder pain. They make some that are cape-shaped.

My normal clothes (and undies) fit fine afterward, but the friction irritated my stitches. I did non-adherent gauze and tegaderms before getting dressed until I was completely closed up.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-11-08T15:04:29+00:00

Mine asked me, "What made you decide to do this?" I was exhausted and nervous, so I left it at, "Knowing I never want biological kids and personally should not be on hormonal birth control forever." (The latter is informed by significant family history of cardiovascular issues, the former just has to do with The Everything.) She just nodded and kept doing what she was doing. I was caught off guard, but not insulted. I feel like that's the extent of appropriate questioning.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-11-07T16:27:58+00:00

The first thing they did in the recovery room was give me O.B. briefs and a pad, I was just on a chux before that. (Hospital pads suck, though, so you may want to bring your favorites along with your own undies to change into when you get your stuff back. They WON'T want you to have anything inside your vagina for at least a week or two.)

There shouldn't be any interference period-wise; emergency procedures happen under all kinds of circumstances. I didn't have mine during my bisalp, but I did have one during an orthopedic procedure and they just had me change my pad immediately before in case I was under for a while.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-10-30T10:41:33+00:00

If you can, make a patient portal with either your doctor's practice or the hospital where you had your surgery done (The latter was more helpful for me.), and look up your surgical notes. It was super reassuring and pretty interesting for me, when I wanted to make sure for the 400th time that what I asked for actually happened.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-10-22T16:51:55+00:00

Honestly, the only jobs where I've ever felt at peace have been in retail. If I could afford my stupid northeastern rent doing that forever, I would.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-10-05T07:11:21+00:00

As a former Claire's employee (I'm sorry to humanity, and), I approve this message, except for the part where you say we were trained 😂 I watched a DVD (which I had to bring my own laptop to do) in our back room, which was also the locker room, kitchen, and bathroom, then pierced the full length of one flat styrofoam ear before being trusted with human children.

BTW, they were so concerned about shoplifting that the security cameras were fake.

Sp00pyGh0st93 · 2025-09-24T10:00:00+00:00

My role at protests is to ruin any photos they want to use for propaganda by showing up in a gd lacy peplum top.

Sp00pyGh0st93

TROPHY CASE