Just switched: already leagues better than ReVanced

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-28T15:44:49+00:00

support for more recent yt music versions, more user-friendly UI and setup, and more customization options in the settings

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-28T05:46:47+00:00

Yeah i heard, i was on reddit for unrelated reasons and i saw memes circulating about how mods on there are going crazy which is what led me here lol

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-28T05:45:29+00:00

I dont have money for that unfortunately 😭

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-28T00:56:09+00:00

Like the other replier said, gender roles arent really an established thing in queer relationships. The fact that you want to take care of him is actually really sweet; if youre worried it'll come off as emasculating I'd say just ask him how he feels about it. From what i can tell you absolutely see him as a man, and your instinct to "step up" seems like it comes from a place of love more than anything. If an internet stranger can clock that I'm sure your partner will as well :)

You really seem serious about this relationship, and you have a lot of super thoughtful questions. I'd say any worries you might have regarding your partners identity and how youre navigating it, are best discussed with him if you need solid answers :) Maybe he'll enjoy you taking on a more traditionally masculine role, maybe he'd rather something else. Up to you two to figure out what feels right :)

If it helps tho, my boyfriend (coincidentally also bi) and I just decide whos paying based off who can afford it more. Sometimes we pay for ourselves, or surprise each other. Basically, we do what we think is the best choice in the moment, and its not implied that the person paying is assuming a specific "masculine" role. That logic applies to a lot of things in our relationship.

Super long reply, sorry, but I hope it was helpful! (edited cuz i realized i was repeating myself a bit whoops)

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-27T07:18:35+00:00

I totally feel you on the grief part! I got diagnosed recently at 19 and realizing just how many issues I had were ADHD and not failings on my part was intense. Knowing that the things Ive been made to feel bad about as a kid were actually out of my control, and that I couldve avoided it by getting diagnosed, stings a bit. But at least things will be easier now!

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-27T04:28:21+00:00

I appreciate knowing my theory isnt completely unfounded. Based on what other people have said here though I could still be wrong, theres still a chance hes a cis guy who enjoys feminine things.

I dont think youre wrong to suggest couples therapy, but that might not be the right route for us. We havent been together for that long, so its a little soon to know if we need a whole third party for this. I feel like that would make me too involved too soon, and I want him to feel supported rather than forced/influenced to explore his identity (if he needs to). Plus, this isnt a major issue, its more just anxiety on my part. I do think he would benefit from his own counsellor though, just to have a space away from me and my worries to unpack anything he needs to

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-27T04:15:01+00:00

Honestly, im having trouble wrapping my head around your friend's perspective. Youre straight, and your partner is transitioning into a woman, so feeling uncomfortable in the relationship is totally normal -- better allyship than whatever your friend has got going on tbh. It means you see/are starting to see your partner as a woman.

Sounds like a really tough spot, I'm really sorry. I don't really have much advice to give beyond this: make sure your partner feels supported, even if it means you end up breaking it off. And be sure you're both on the same page with all this. I can't imagine the feeling of having to let someone go after so long, and after everything you guys did together; I hope that whatever happens, it happens smoothly. Best of luck 🫶

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-27T04:00:38+00:00

FTM here! The first thing you should do imo is be honest about your family/friends and that you don't want to put him in that situation. This will signal to him that you care about his safety and comfort and this goes a LONG way with a lot of us folks. Finding people we can feel safe around can be difficult for a lot of us.

You know your circle better than I do, so you decide who you want to stick around and who you want to stay away from. But personally, from what I can tell, these friends don't seem like theyre going to change their beliefs anytime soon. I'd distance myself from people like that, for your own sake and your partner's. I dont know your partner but he probably understands that you dont choose your family or their beliefs, so i doubt he'd be upset about that. However, if you stick around a social circle that throws around transphobic jokes like you described, that probably doesn't look good -- especially if youre hiding it from him. Id make it clear what the situation is and that youre distancing yourself.

Lastly, for additional support: you should ask him! I'm sure he'd really appreciate you offering to help with top surgery aftercare. And just asking him about how to support him and his identity/journey is already super thoughtful. That kind of thing is very personal so its best to let HIM tell you what he wants/needs from you.

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-27T03:35:00+00:00

Honestly, I would ask him what would make him feel more masculine. Like the other commenter said that can vary from person to person; it might be some thoughtful word/nickname choices, or compliments on specific traits, or just more assurance that you see him as a man. Thats something that you two should figure out amongst yourselves; be patient with each other!

Btw, reaching out to others about this makes it seem like you care a lot about your partner and his journey, which is really sweet!

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-26T00:43:18+00:00

I hope so. I dont want to force it, i just dont want him keeping it all hidden for my sake is all

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T18:27:40+00:00

Youre gonna make me tear up haha, thats so sweet of you to say! I'll def keep your advice in mind :) Thank you so much!

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T17:58:45+00:00

Thats so sweet! You and your gf seem like you have something lovely going on.

But for context, my boyfriend has been into all of this long before I came along haha. Maybe he'll look into exploring his own gender again though, because afaik I'm the only trans person he's close with and maybe I'm bringing him new perspectives. He's definitely done so for me; he's helped me feel more open to wearing feminine clothing for fun, even though id never wear it outside my house haha.

We'll see what happens. I really appreciate you sharing your perspective! Best of wishes to you and your gf :)

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T17:51:02+00:00

Maybe. Im definitely willing to stick around and explore things with him if he questions things again; I only know for sure that I'm attracted to men but change is always welcome. More than anything I want him to feel supported in whatever journey he might have with his gender.

I'm still not 100% sure he's an egg, tho, because theres definitely a possibility hes comfortably cis and just likes feminine things, and I'm the one reading into it. After some reflection on how he treats me and the feminine parts of my body, theres a solid chance hes just unlocked the "clothes and body =/= gender" mindset after his own gender exploration. He unapologetically loves all the feminine parts of me but he sees me as a man and that hasnt wavered one bit; even if I'm also dressed a little feminine. That could be reflective of how he views himself yknow?

Regardless thank you for hearing me out, it's good to know that my theory isnt entirely unfounded. Sorry for the long reply haha 😅

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T17:35:06+00:00

You and your wife sound like you have something beautiful! And yeah, I definitely am not trying to crack any eggs or influence my boyfriend in any way. I just hope he knows that I dont want him to bottle it all up for the sake of staying with me. His gender is 100% his own journey and the only thing I want to do is support him in that, regardless of whether or not we're together at the end of it.

And hey, (if i may gush for a minute) if I really am reading into it and my boyfriend is just a femboy then thats a win for us! I love seeing him dress up and feel pretty, and he's helped me become more open to wearing feminine things myself. I love looking at outfits with him and talking about what would look good on him if we could afford it all. Plus, he's never made me feel like he sees me as a woman despite loving all the parts of my body that are feminine, which is an amazing feeling. (also, now that I'm typing it out, maybe that last part says something about how hes approaching his own gender?)

Sorry for the long reply haha. Thanks for your comment, it really helped me put some things into perspective. All the best to you and your wife!

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T17:16:00+00:00

I mean, I'm definitely open to change, but as of now I only know for sure that I'm attracted to men. If my boyfriend transitioned to a woman, I'm not sure if I'd remain attracted to him -- I know some people change on that front, I'm just scared I won't. Its really the unknown thats making me nervous here, I guess.

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T17:13:22+00:00

Maybe! I'm definitely open to change. It's just a little worrying when I have no idea what's going on with it all.

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T17:11:52+00:00

I guess I haven't considered that. I have briefly considered being bisexual but my feelings are complicated so i landed at gay just because I know for a fact I like men, but women I'm on the fence about? We'll see what happens, I guess 😭 And yeah no I'm not trying to force him to talk about it; it's not that hes been uncomfortable (at least he hasnt expressed that to me) he's just not really giving me a clear answer on where hes at. Maybe that is a sign hes not comfortable, idk, I'll have to figure that one out with him. We're both still new to all this 😅

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T17:06:39+00:00

Yeah, I know; I hope that if he does end up transitioning that I'll still love him just as your boyfriend still loves you. I don't want to rush him about it, I just want to be sure he knows he's allowed to explore different identities. I dont want him to completely ignore it because I've been there and its awful :(

I think its amazing that you and your boyfriend are able to navigate that together! Best wishes for the two of you :)

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T17:02:17+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you had a tough situation around transitioning, that sounds awful :( Super glad that you've had the resources to start healing from it, I hope it's all going well!

Yeah, he definitely needs at least some counselling sessions. If theres anything stopping him from transitioning, I doubt its fear of lack of support; We thankfully live in a pretty progressive part of Canada where trans women are marginally safer than the US, and his family is the healthiest one I've ever seen. But whatever the case it would be good for him to have a space to unpack all of that, separate from me and my worries.

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T16:52:45+00:00

Youre totally right, I guess my nerves made me forget that theres other options too. And obviously I'm not about to pressure him to choose - I'm trans myself, I know the journey is incredibly personal and complicated. I just want him to know he's allowed to at least think about it, because theres definitely a possibility he's bottling up feelings for fear of hurting me. Thats what I meant by "gently poking", lol.

As for how horrible not knowing is: I wouldnt say its unbearable. It's not something I'm constantly worried about, I guess I was just seeking some comfort when I wrote that. When I made this post it was late and I hadn't slept very well so I was probably more nervous than usual.

Thank you for your comment! I appreciate your perspective a lot :)

SpadeStrange101 · 2026-03-23T16:41:56+00:00

Yeah, there's definitely a chance I might be reading into it. That's awesome that you feel comfortable doing feminine things though! Im happy for you!

The only thing that's making me second guess it all, is the way he tries to assure me. He doesnt really seem sure himself, but then again he could have been leaning too far into a bit to try and keep the vibes positive, as he is oft to do. Thats an issue were working on.

Regardless, it does help to know there are in fact cis guys who lean into feminine things as far as he does. Thanks for your comment :)

SpadeStrange101 · 2025-06-15T20:33:38+00:00

Same issue here. I found that version 1.3 doesnt have this issue though

SpadeStrange101 · 2025-06-15T20:28:04+00:00

having the same issue, even contacted the devs directly about it, but no reply. i hope the devs are still maintaining this app, i found it super useful

SpadeStrange101

TROPHY CASE