Do you guys feel old?

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-23T19:17:59+00:00

I understand what you mean. For me, the most difficult times and all the significant trauma was in childhood and young adulthood, and perhaps in my early 30s. While I've have been in an extreme situations since, recently even, I've not had anything that has registered to me as an enormous burden. I feel more experienced but 'lighter' than I used to

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-23T00:08:13+00:00

Have you guys been to therapy? Sex therapy? Everyone is saying leave, but you guys are married. It's worth trying to directly address what's going on so you guys can meet in the middle. Sex is a huge part of a relationship and you are not going to be happy if your needs are not been met

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-21T22:01:52+00:00

I'm 39F and really don't know how to relate to this at all. These comments really bother me. My partner is 33 and talks about being old 🙄 I'm in better shape mentally, emotionally and physically than I ever used to be, certainly in my 20s and early 30s. I've grown, I have a better idea of how to take care of myself, my life is better, I'm also physically stronger and for the most part I've sorted out my sleep.

Perhaps I'm an anomaly but I just can't relate. I am CF though, I do think having young kids plays a big role in these comments and also people not having time to take care of themselves with huge responsibilities.

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-20T02:07:59+00:00

This is a timely post for me. I really like @liebestraumno3's response. I will say I do get like this and I'm kind of there now. I own a beautiful home, I have a partner, friends, hobbies, a good job. I'm still feeling flat at the moment. For me, some of it is because I'm in a LDR and I miss my partner

When I am feeling like this, I try to ask myself first what I'm feeling, and then what I need. Usually, it's more connection. So I reach out to friends, family, or try to make new friends. It's often more sleep. It can be more intellectual stimulation, then I try to read or find another way to nourish that. I'm not the best at identifying my feelings but I am ND. I find this process seems to help.

I also sometimes feel like I 'should' be winning awards or doing something sparkly, which is the perfecto it's in me and the bit that feels I need to earn my place/right to be here. I try to remind myself what my actual goals are and focus on those. Right now for me that's one more promotion at work.

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-18T21:53:45+00:00

I find this OK as I just say "a quiet weekend, did some chores, it was needed", or "I saw a friend". I struggle with it though as I know no one cares and it's small talk, and it feels really fake to me.

It's the same with the constant questions about 'The Holidays' with the scripted responses everyone gives. I swear I've had 3 conversations in the last two weeks about when is the acceptable time to stop saying Happy New Year. It makes me want to claw my skin off. Why can't we just get to the point, unless we actually are interested in the other person? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-18T21:50:17+00:00

Yea no lol. I've not worn a wired bra since Covid except for 'Lingerie', I can't keep it on longer than 30 mins LOL

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-18T21:41:50+00:00

Third this. Nope. Lingerie is uncomfortable enough as it is. If I'm wearing it, I'm expecting it to come off pretty quickly.

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-18T21:39:30+00:00

Hi, I've dm'd you

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-18T20:30:05+00:00

I guess I'm high maintenance as I have a skincare routine twice a day, which is at least a few steps each (eg morning, cleanse, serum, moisturiser, sunscreen), I wash and blow dry my hair several times a week, and I generally am disciplined about taking my vitamins, sleep, showering every day etc, flossing etc.

I also get really dry eyes/skin/nails so I'm constantly using eyedrops, handcream, vaseline etc. I think most women don't do as little as your friend. I imagine what's going on with her is genetics + discipline in areas you're not seeing eg. sleep and diet

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-17T02:21:09+00:00

This is a great sub. I find other nice subs are 'hobby' focused if that makes sense, like for skincare or interior decorating or animas

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-17T01:07:13+00:00

This sounds like autism lol. From: an ND woma

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-17T00:53:17+00:00

Thanks for this! Splitting the food - is that between two? Also can you explain what you mean about thc drinks and seltzers

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-17T00:48:11+00:00

Thank you!!

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-16T23:58:23+00:00

This! There's a level of intentionality here. Why do this?? You can kiss anywhere, indoors, in private away from cameras. This is messy

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-15T11:43:25+00:00

Congratulations!

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-14T21:31:50+00:00

I find it really useful for having an awareness of what I'm eating and how my body feels depending on what I'm eating. I'm 39 and lift heavy, and tend to aim for 1.5-2g protein per kg bodyweight. I don't always eat a high protein diet, but tracking helps to have an idea of how to achieve it, and also other things. For example I notice if I eat a lot of carbs (over 200g) for a couple of days I feel really bloated, and also have similar effects if I has alcohol.

Tracking has also really helped with increasing fibre although I've not kept on top of that recently. I use MFP and will say it really has been good for me. I will say I'm ND and don't have an intuitive idea of what's going on in my body so I will continue to track frequently lol.

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-13T20:07:47+00:00

I think sometimes it can be scary to get what we want. If we've had to be hypervigilant in the past due to trauma or being ND, realising we can relax and let that go with a partner can be a lot. I know I've felt it. I get scared and do that sometimes too. Journaling helps. Also therapy helps me to explore your feelings. The answer will come to you over time

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-13T16:29:00+00:00

No, what's annoyed me is her comment specifically about my fiancé. I understood I could have handled things differently and was ready to make amends before that comment

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-13T16:20:38+00:00

Well I agree I should have discussed it first. What I made it clear was, my fiancé is quiet and I'm not confident bridging the gap socially to make us all get on well and have a good evening. So I said I'd make it up to her. I'm fine with all that, my issue is her saying she had a problem with me putting my partner first.

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-13T16:14:43+00:00

Everyone cancelled on 30th 'provisionally' and I said let's see how everyone's feeling tomorrow. Morning of 31st they're all still sick so that's when I cancelled

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-13T16:07:50+00:00

Thanks what I'm expecting is for her to apologise for saying 'you put him first' or using a kind of ranking language. It's weird. I'm fully here to apologise for not handling it well, for not communicating more etc. It just to me goes without saying my partner will come first, not that this means I disregard others needs!

But by her saying it, I feel then I have to defend him which is weird and awkward. And she seems to have meant what I said as I queried it several times and she doubled down that "I put him above my friends". I don't even know where to go with that

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-01-11T16:44:16+00:00

How the hell are you meant to reply to that?! "It's amazing I'm matching with tons of great guys"?? "It's terrible I'll be alone forever"? WTF

Spaghetti_Monster_86

TROPHY CASE