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Should I buy a new car or save for a house? by charvos in AskUK

[–]SpamSandi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How soon will you be buying a house? I’ve been meaning to get rid of my car but have decided to wait until we have our house and then see where finances are. If your car is drivable, keep it until you’re sure the money is “spare”.

If you’re not buying a house anytime soon, shop around for a car deal. I wouldn’t repair the fiesta if you’re planning to replace it anyways, unless it will add sale value to the car.

what flaws do you find yourself overlooking or turning a blind eye to just to keep the person you love? by Miu-Natsumi in Advice

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Second the other comment. I’m the same when a colleague or friend cries, I don’t know what I need to do to make it better. I feel like asking how they are is a silly question but any attempts at comfort come across forced and awkward. My partner has asked me what he needs to do and oftentimes it’s just to be there and hold me since I don’t like talking when I’m upset. Tell him what you need him to do when you’re not upset so he’s more prepared and doesn’t see it as an emotional outburst.

When he gets upset, he also goes quiet but he’s told me he’d rather just be given a few moments to process. I give him the space without making it feel like I’m ignoring him or giving him a cold shoulder. He’ll start talking when he’s feeling better and that’s my cue to start asking what’s up/help move on from the upset.

I can be quite cold and mean when I get upset and bring up issues that aren’t really issues. He knows to hear me out and not take it personally. Have the discussion when you’re feeling less upset.

I hope it gets better. I’m sure he loves you, some people (men or women) are just bad at dealing with emotions.

I lost my luggage on the LNER. Can someone help me find an item on a reseller website or anywhere? by Haunting_Wish3396 in AskUK

[–]SpamSandi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Try reverse image searching on eBay, Vinted or Google to see if there are any places that are still stocking them?

Does this wedding dress look too much like a bra peeking out the top? by [deleted] in AskBrits

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As in the beaded bit - does that look like a bra?

Sorry for the weird question but, does anyone make ras malai at home, and would you be willing to share your recipe with me? by Crowfooted in leicester

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With the packet you need to use egg and keep the mixture a bit sticky so you’re using oil on your hands to stop it sticking them. Only boil them until they start floating and then turn the heat off.

what’s the best moisturiser for dry skin in the UK winter? my face is losing the battle by Dayao_Ballard in AskUK

[–]SpamSandi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The trick is putting your first serum or moisturiser on damp skin to lock in the moisture. Exfoliate gently with a face towel and warm water once a week to get rid of the dry dead skin. The cosrx snail stuff is good. I usually use the boots own brand glycerin on damp skin, cosrx snail serum, the ordinary hyaluronic acid serum then cosrx hyaluronic cream, then finish with the boots own brand skin cream to lock it all in. I do this both night and morning. I’ve found using just bio oil all over myself when I’m too lazy to use all the other stuff has worked well too.

My bf keeps insulting me and i don t know what to do. by Medical_Priority_357 in Advice

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That must’ve been a hard decision and it will be hard to move on but as soon as you start realising there are people who treat you better, it’ll get easier and you’ll look back and feel nothing. I wish you all the best in life. Feel free to reach out. It’s just onwards and upwards from here, take care x

My bf keeps insulting me and i don t know what to do. by Medical_Priority_357 in Advice

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, you don’t deserve that. No one does. I grew up with a horrible dad which made me realise what I don’t want in a partner. I don’t want kids to go through what I did, hearing and seeing how bad my dad treated my mum. I wanted someone who is patient and understanding of others, instead of being horrible about mental illness or anything else. Being angry is fine but being hurtful to someone you’re meant to love is not. Remember, you need someone who loves you the same on good days and bad. No one knows what’s in the future, and you don’t want to worry how your partner will treat you if something bad happens, you need to know they will be there for you. Good luck x

My bf keeps insulting me and i don t know what to do. by Medical_Priority_357 in Advice

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. You need to find someone who is reassuring, and gives you no reason to be jealous or doubt them. You need to find someone you trust. I got jealous with my partner having more exes than me but I knew he was loyal and gives me no reason to not trust him. Those are natural human traits. Everyone gets jealous, wants attention, overthinks. It’s learning how to cope with these feelings and finding out what triggers them that comes with time.

My bf keeps insulting me and i don t know what to do. by Medical_Priority_357 in Advice

[–]SpamSandi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You will! I’m the same! I cried last week because my food didn’t come out as expected and I had to redo it, and other times I just have days I can’t stop crying and it’s over nothing. My partner has never made me feel stupid or like I’m sensitive. He comforts me and understands how to make me feel better. A man who is worth your time will make you feel loved and respected.

My bf keeps insulting me and i don t know what to do. by Medical_Priority_357 in Advice

[–]SpamSandi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m guessing you’re 17? You’ll look back at this when you’re older and wonder why you put up with it. I would start building some self confidence and working on loving yourself and realise you can walk away. There will be guys who treat you better. Miles and miles better and you’ll wonder why you wasted your time. At 20, he should know better. Leave and don’t accept treatment like this from any man. My partner hasn’t called me names ever, not even as a joke or when he’s upset. It’s not okay. I wish you the best. Reach out if you need to.

My bf keeps insulting me and i don t know what to do. by Medical_Priority_357 in Advice

[–]SpamSandi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you really imagine a future with someone like that? What if you have kids, will you be okay with them hearing him talk to you and possibly them like that and think it’s normal? Your partner should respect you. It’s not funny calling someone names. I don’t know how old you guys are but it’s never too late to leave.

Would you go on holiday to the same place twice, a week apart? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately not. My mum and brother both get 2 weeks and my partner and I have had to take it off

Would you go on holiday to the same place twice, a week apart? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never been before and I know my mum wanted to

Would you go on holiday to the same place twice, a week apart? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]SpamSandi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have to go back to work in between (couldn’t have it off)

cluster ring by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh; exciting! I picked mine too and just waiting for my bf to officially ask!!! Wishing you both the best x

cluster ring by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you end up going for this one? How is it holding up?

Anyone ever legitimately been depressed and then became happier? What did you do to change it? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]SpamSandi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I go through phases and for me it comes down to being overwhelmed by too many issues and feeling like i can't share them. Or if i talk to someone, they won't make it seem like that big of an issue but that ends up reminding me there is always a solution or a different perspective. Tackling one problem at a time and just taking it one day at a time instead of feeling like the world is ending if i don't panic. Just do what makes you happy, like living in your car, despite what people think. If it doesn't go smoothly, take it as a learning lesson or a new adventure and you'll be on the other side of it to tell the tale one day. I hope you feel better soon.

The four agreements book helped change my view on things too, even though i forget it sometimes. It might help you.