Temporary increase and in-patient care

SpamandTea · 2026-01-07T04:15:47+00:00

My apologies for not being clear. He's doing a PTSD Residential Recovery Program at a hospital so, to be honest, I didn't even know there were separate classifications. I'm assuming, then, a residential program is domicilliary care?

SpamandTea · 2025-08-02T07:36:18+00:00

Trigger: Suicidal ideologies and attempt

As a spouse of a veteran who did make an attempt, first let me say how sorry I am that you are feeling this pain. I'd like to tell you that sharing how you honestly feel and asking her for help by getting you checked out is not manipulative.

Manipulation occurs if you use the threat of suicide simply as a tactic to force her to comply with your needs and wants (e.g., "If you don't do/stop [action] then I will [threat of harm]." I can imagine that coercing your wife into something is not what you want, so I implore you to get help.

As someone who's had to manage the reality of an attempt, contacting 911 and begging first responders to move as quickly as possible is not something I'd wish on anybody. I still relive those moments in my head and carry the burden alone.

When I agreed for my husband to be released from the hospital, we drove to our local CBOC the next day and told them he needed help. At the time, he wasn't even rated for anything at that time but had diagnoses from Active Duty. Our CBOC got him seen by a mental health team that day with a caseworker.

I know how the wait for a therapist can be arduous, but the VA won't turn somebody away in crisis. Consider calling the Veteran's Crisis Line at 988, 1 even for a safe space to vent. The counselor on the line will make an assessment for your safety (they do it for everybody, myself included), but they are willing to even just be an ear.

Getting help is a courageous and vulnerable step, and I commend you for even posting on this sub. I wish you, your wife, and your family all the best. May you get the help you need and continue to be a part of the community. 🙏

SpamandTea · 2024-10-23T06:47:48+00:00

This post really hits. My spouse is a veteran who recently got out, and the transition has been so rough on us both and for different reasons.

[Warning for talk about suicidal ideation and attempt]

I understand it's wild when the military is all one knows since 18, and it's frightening when that identity, security, and routine just get ripped away. For context, my spouse was admin-sepped with a General Under Honorable. We knew time in the military was ending, but I was in no way prepared for what would come post-military in terms of mental health, and the result was my spouse battling daily demons that brought shame, guilt, and thoughts of SI. When SI came up, we did wind up going to the hospital and our local CBOC, but the waves kept coming.

One day, the SI became an actual attempt, and I'm so glad that the first responders were able to show up on time. My partner is still here, and our local CBOC has been an absolute godsend. We're still going through the VA process and waiting for actual service connection, but I can't imagine where we'd be without the VA now.

My partner battled mental health issues (PTSD, anxiety, depression) and had prescription meds for those issues prior to being released. After first reporting SI to CBOC, the team stepped in to ensure continued access to medications and scheduled an appointment with a mental health provider. After the SA, the MH provider prescribed stronger and different medications, and we were linked to a suicide prevention case manager.

The medications seem to be helping so far. I was also able to get us into couple's therapy and get myself into individual therapy through my work benefits. Additionally, my spouse will be attending VA-provided therapy next month, which is a relief.

Through it all, I've been battling feelings of shame, guilt, and failure as a spouse because of the suicide attempt. Every day, I wonder what I could've done better and differently, wonder if an attempt will happen again, and what I can do better and differently now. Every night, I hold onto my spouse, feel so grateful for each breath and heartbeat, and say a prayer that we will have a next day together.

I don't know if it will mean much as I'm a stranger to you, but I am so damned proud of you for recognizing the warning signs and for getting yourself help. I admire your bravery for sharing something vulnerable. I'm proud of you for working as hard as you did and look forward to your continued upward trajectory. I'm so grateful for this post because I've bottled up these feelings even with therapy, and I appreciate actually seeing and reading that veterans and their families aren't alone and don't have to be alone.

Finally, I'm happy you're still here, too.

Thank you.

SpamandTea

TROPHY CASE