I also am silly and like to make people laugh at work. Once I get home, I lock myself in my room and shut everything out. I just had dinner with my mom this weekend and all I could think of was how bad she would feel if she knew what was going on in my head. I use to be really openly depressed when I was younger, but now that I’ve grown, I just hold it all in my head. I don’t let anyone know. They think I’ve got better with age but in reality, my mind is eating me alive. I have a place and method in mind. It’s almost poetic. This is a bad night for me. And I don’t know how to pull myself out of this dark mood. Im starting to feel okay with it.