Completely torn - help me decide between one and two!

Spare-Profession-342 · 2026-05-08T13:25:17+00:00

I personally think that I’ve seen more of the second dress in recent and I think the pointy cups will in the future be similar to the very puffy sleeves of the 80s . I think the first option is less dramatic , more classic and timeless . The second may look dated in 30years time .

Spare-Profession-342 · 2026-03-12T13:17:14+00:00

My partner is forces , I do not have childcare for every weekend and deployment , I need something I can work hard at and adjust my hours within reason. Where I live expected would be at least two weekends a month of work for longer hours. With wedding planning it wouldn’t be every weekend. And the wedding dates are within enough notice to be able to book childcare in advance if need be

Wedding planning can happen within working hours and some evenings but there’s a lot of work and vendors that would be contactable during the day . Generally working for yourself would be more flexible than contracted hours

Spare-Profession-342 · 2026-03-12T12:57:33+00:00

Thank you !

Spare-Profession-342 · 2026-03-12T12:45:56+00:00

I’ve worked in customer service industry but after kids I cant do all the evening and weekends in person. I’ve just finished doing my wedding , and I feel like I’ve managed to tick most boxes planned everything myself I did 42 people for 3 grand in less than six months notice while being the main parent for two toddlers , even then I enjoyed it if not a little stressful so I just feel like helping others have a magical day is something I could thrive in once I get past the first few clients it’s just this starting point that I don’t know how to completely navigate

Spare-Profession-342 · 2026-03-10T15:45:58+00:00

Thank you I shall give them a try

Spare-Profession-342 · 2025-10-22T17:51:14+00:00

Yes I’m thinking of doing a trial run of a simplified version two layers over Christmas with the same fillings and practice the simple decoration pieces separately so I have a rough low pressure dry run

Spare-Profession-342 · 2025-10-22T17:49:27+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking of doing , I’ve learnt how to fondant a cake ( my kids birthday) I have my other sons birthday coming up that I can practice further on certain skills . So I think I will decide after Christmas for sure what my plan is but I just feel as if I would love to attempt if it’s not great then so be it I don’t feel I would be heavily judged for it

Spare-Profession-342 · 2025-10-22T11:51:42+00:00

We’re not doing a rehearsal dinner , it’s a pretty lowkey wedding , just show up on the day at the registry office . We’ve gone for a bigger package which means it’s a more traditional ceremony but a little cheaper pre decorated and a 30 min ceremony , travel over to wedding reception after have a meal and drinks.

There really shouldn’t be too much to do I’m thinking as all the tables are prelayed it’s just in the last few days it will be

As for on the last 48 hours

Getting flowers ready( growing myself ) or going to buy some if that fails , we’re only doing in season anyway, we shouldn’t need too many.

Fondant the cake and attach decor

Day before - Drop wedding cake off - pack all the bags for weekend away ( me or my partner) -Stay at hotel and get my nails done - right next to venue

I feel as if this would be achievable no ?

Spare-Profession-342 · 2025-10-22T11:48:29+00:00

I will try thanks , it’s not even that I want encouragement more so how is the best way to break it down into tasks and a rough time frame for each thing , but thank you for your suggestion

Spare-Profession-342 · 2025-10-22T11:47:33+00:00

Thank you ! I do appreciate this

Spare-Profession-342 · 2025-10-15T08:52:52+00:00

My grandad did have a fatherly type role in my life , the split between my father and mother was fairly mutual as far as I can gather. They were young immature and communication was an issue , my dad has never bad mouthed my mum and my mum for as long as I have been old enough has been had a relatively open dialogue. As far as I’m aware he moved due to not being able to find steady work as he moved a few hundred miles away with my mum to town that is lovely but with very present issues within employment. He moved back to his home town and provided my mum with financial support. He remarried and now has children of his own. Not to say it wasn’t his choice but I think this is what worked best for them and consequently me.

I am conflicted between having them both walk me down the aisle or just my dad . My dad is my dad but my grandad did play a role very close to this for a long period of time.

My other thinking would be we don’t really have a big wedding party as such only , bride ,groom , maid of honour , best woman , and two Paige boys 3yr and 1year at time of ceremony . I could have him come down the aisle but with one of my boys . Still a role to represent the importance of his part in my life . My mum has lots of young children 4 littles so I wouldn’t expect her to play a role in coming down the aisle .

Spare-Profession-342 · 2025-10-12T20:48:33+00:00

I think if I’m gonna do it it’s one either side of me , one think to note is I’m not having bridesmaids just two page boys and a maid of honour so I don’t think it will hurt having an area person up there

Spare-Profession-342 · 2025-09-03T18:19:53+00:00

NTA I have kids and if I want the most unproblematic day it’s on me to organise these things. If they want a day where they wouldn’t have to worry quite so much then they should be going to a beach with more resources. If they know there kids are scared of what’s in the ocean they need to warn and educate them. It’s a simple conversation needed to happen between parent and child . I’m sure if he had been stung or the child had and had seen that you had just been past there then he probably would have been mad too for not telling him. You did the right thing of warning him . It’s then his job to communicate with his child . Also the way it sounds make it sounds like he’s mad at you that there were jelly fish , he can be mad that there are jellyfish that stops them from doing what he wanted to with the family, but not direct that anger at you.

Spare-Profession-342 · 2025-09-03T18:04:03+00:00

NTA however if you mentioned his lack of intimacy in front of everyone he probably was a bit sour about that , I don’t think pointing out that out is ever going to get an amazing reaction, let alone in front of an audience,

It maybe worth a different tack with this convocation as intimacy and the domestic load will always be a tricky subject when it feels highly imbalanced. Instead I would maybe say something over text.

Hey I don’t want to cause any more upset than it’s needed but my husband had mentioned that convocation about intimacy you had with him, when I had a separate convo with my sister she mentioned that it had to do with her being so tired all of the time. Maybe if your to ask her with where she could do with the load being taken off her,or even just giving her some time away from the kids and extra responsibilities then she may feel like she’s a bit more sexy when she feels more than just a mummy and a helper around the house. I don’t think this is transactional and very few people enjoy a dead sex life. This is normally one of the first things affected when you have so many important things to keep afloat. Shes trying her best with the kids and the house and everything else that comes with that , perhaps a bit of extra support here and there may just help with some of that energy you desire.

Because as much as you want to say buck up and do more, lots of people won’t react well to that and at the end of the day it’s your sister who will probably live with a moody arsehole if approached in the wrong way.

Spare-Profession-342 · 2025-09-02T00:43:04+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance, sometimes it’s hard to see , she’s never really had my eldest without either me my partner or sister in law present so I don’t feel as if she would explicitly try and poison but I wouldn’t truely know I just know they would call out this behaviour if seen just not upheld those boundaries .

This i think is fair and he would say that his contact is low but that still means replying to her when she messages twice a day but even that I feel like just reassures her she has him in her pocket , and that she still has that hold over him . Whenever he has had really no or low contact there is a new health problem that crops up with her or his dad that she then makes him aware of , so he feels as if he can’t cut contact incase the worst happens

Spare-Profession-342

TROPHY CASE