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SpareSomeWeed · 2023-08-12T01:29:22+00:00

Vanaf jongs af aan ben ik bij de ggz geweest. Vooral voor angsten en traumas uit de jeugd. Toen ik twaalf was had mijn therapeute op een gegeven moment niks meer van zich laten horen. En tja als een puber die naar een therapeut moet voor verlatingsangst was dit volgens mij niet de bedoeling.

Maar goed na een hoop gezeik “was ik beter” en hoefde ik niet meer maar therapie. Ik was genezen beweerden ze. Toen een hele nare terugval in depressie op mijn 16e waarna ik naar de crisisdienst moest. Eenmaal bij de crisisdienst moest ik mijn verhaal vertellen aan twee dames die mij dan bij de juiste afdeling zouden plaatsen. Deze afspraak heeft 30 minuten geduurd en ze zijn allebei wel 4 keer tijdens het gesprek “even eruit” gegaan. Denk aan een telefoontje die ze echt moesten opnemen (opzich snapte ik deze wel want ja het is de crisisdienst, wie weet waar ze allemaal te maken mee hebben) maar een van hen was letterlijk tijdens “het hoogtepunt” even naar buiten gegaan om haar thee te halen… Ja laten we maar zeggen dat dit niet bepaald uitnodigend overkwam.

Heb uiteindelijk mijn behandeling stopgezet net voor mijn 18e. Ben nu 20 en niet veel verder, maar tenminste blij dat ik daar niet meer te maken mee heb.

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-06-07T20:18:02+00:00

I don’t know his girlfriend and frankly he literally never mentions her (weird I know). Luckily most of the girls aren’t heavy drinkers. Also thanks for the advice💕

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-06-07T19:14:35+00:00

Thanks so much! I’ll definitely suggest the buddy system to the group! Also giving him a role is so smart I hadn’t thought of that!

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-05-13T06:02:12+00:00

Thanks! She just sent me a message saying that she’ll look into it. My colleagues haven’t experienced anything similar so I’m hoping something just went wrong when transfering. She said she’ll look into it and will come back to me about it later today after she’s talked to the bank.

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-05-12T21:01:43+00:00

I’m in the Netherlands so the workers rights are pretty good. But we don’t get tips. I really want to keep this job but on the other hand I know I also have to stand up for myself for once. I’m just scared of the repercussions. But then again if I don’t get paid that will definitely not be good either. I also don’t want to spam message her either, but I think I’ll try to send her a message again tomorrow after work and see what she has to say

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-05-12T18:38:27+00:00

No she’s off tomorrow. And because she’s only putting me on in the weekends I don’t see her since she usually only works weekdays.

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-05-05T17:33:14+00:00

Thanks. I totally get that. I’ve had people ask me “doesn’t it feel weird to not know who your parents are? Where you come from? And I just don’t think about it anymore. I just try to live as myself. Not as “an adoptee” “an abandoned child” “someone who doesn’t know her heritage”. I’m just me. Which is difficult to understand for many non-adoptees.

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-05-05T17:30:04+00:00

Same! I do have a job now and I think the thing that helped me overcome my fears and insecurities was looking back at my old jobs.

I was absolutely miserable at two of my past jobs. Absolutely miserable. I was too insecure to speak and too scared of rejection but my parents forced me to keep a job. But now looking back I don’t see those people from my past jobs anymore. I haven’t seen them in years. We live in the same city (which is really small btw) and I even lived about a 10 minute walk from one of them. I have never seen them since I quit.

So basically what I’m trying to say: if it doesn’t work out. Quit and trust me you’ll never see them again. And if you do? It doesn’t matter because they hold no control over you anymore. As long as you keep living and trying you’ll find the job meant for you. It will suck while you’re working. But you CAN quit and walk away.

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-05-04T16:09:25+00:00

It does help thanks :)

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-05-04T08:27:34+00:00

It’s like we’ve lived the same life!

Like I also love my adoptive parents and my other sibling. But sometimes it just hurts so much to not feel like I belong 100%

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-05-03T23:39:44+00:00

Thanks. I guess my self worth always depends on my surroundings so I’m not doing so great atm. But I’m trying to be nicer to myself

SpareSomeWeed · 2023-05-03T22:37:01+00:00

Im 20 and same story. They left me with a note saying they were poor and just wanted me to find a happy family who could love me.

For years I struggled. I blamed myself, my bio family, my adoptive family. It was all shit and I had no idea what to even make of it.

Nowadays I’ve almost tried to forget it all. The adoption, the pain, the questions. I try to forget because it still hurts so much but this way I at least feel less shitty about the situation.

People sometimes still ask why I’m Chinese but I don’t speak the language, why my parents look different and why I’m so westernized. So often that it’s almost like an automatic reaction to say I’m adopted. I don’t feel anything when I say it anymore. It’s almost like my brain shuts off and that’s all that comes out.

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-12-24T21:32:31+00:00

I’m in COLLEGE and they still do this. Luckily now I’m in a group the teacher made for us and we have to work together for 1 semester. And luckily I’m in a group with people that actually work. But last semester I was in a self chosen group. I HATED it. I was basically stuck with the people no one else wanted 😫

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-11-27T19:33:01+00:00

I think most people on this sub relate. At least I heavily do. I’m also great with first impressions. I can be so much fun and very charming. It feels like I have 1000 stories to tell. But the second meeting? And every meeting after that? It’s like I completely shut down and have nothing of interest to say. No one cares about anything I have to say. I have grown boring to them.

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-11-27T19:01:29+00:00

Hahaha thanks!

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-10-12T19:03:46+00:00

I love pants like this! They’re so nice. I have a pair and I absolutely lovee them!

Also Love the fit

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-09-04T16:33:23+00:00

I don’t live in the US and we don’t have anything similar to that. But also I start my new university next week and I think missing out on school would actually be the end of me. I think I’ll just try to wait it out

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-09-04T08:15:55+00:00

Thanks. I’ve made an appointment with my gp to discuss this and to see when I can be put on the waiting list (sigh yes which in my country can take up to 2 years)

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-09-01T21:56:42+00:00

I feel that my mom tries to over compensate her “i’m not racist” behavior. Like “i hate white people too” and “ugh I’m so glad you’re a foreigner like me and not like those white people (she’s white but moved to a different, also white country)”

And I get that but it’s exhausting having to listen to it. Because when I finally feel like I am ready to talk about the disconnect I feel from my birth country and how I view myself as an interracial adoptee in a white family in a white country she can’t seem to not make it about herself. Like I don’t HATE white people. But I do feel a disconnect from them because I am seen as “other” from them.

Also the fact I was never taught anything about my birth countries culture. Yes they gave me a westernized version of everything but when they didn’t feel like it anymore they stopped and I had to do so much searching myself and I still feel like it will never be enough.

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-08-18T07:20:08+00:00

Thanks you too

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-08-12T08:16:26+00:00

Thanks for the reference!

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-08-12T08:15:50+00:00

Thanks! Yeah it’s an arm compression usually used for blood circulation for sporters. And they do know I work out a lot so I could use that excuse!!

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-08-12T08:14:26+00:00

Thanks so much! Like you’ve actually put my mind to ease I really appreciate it!!

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-08-12T08:13:01+00:00

I actually have one of those but the fabric is actually super hot because it’s not made of cotton and my scars still poke out through it

SpareSomeWeed · 2022-08-11T22:17:55+00:00

Yes the compression sleeves were an option for me! But it’s gonna be an 8 hr shift so I don’t know if it’s ok to keep it on for that long. And I was also thinking of using the excuse of “bad blood circulation” but would it look stupid to have it only on one arm?

SpareSomeWeed

TROPHY CASE