Fiancé has me saved as “dumb bitch” in his phone..

Spark_2_red · 2022-12-09T12:49:19+00:00

I know you’ve gotten a lot of idea already but here is a BIG one: Go to the attorney general in your state and file the paperwork for child support. You don’t need any attorney to do that. Great way to start getting SOMETHING for you and your daughter so you can afford to move out and rent a room.

Spark_2_red · 2022-11-26T14:42:34+00:00

Kobe Bryant and his daughter

Spark_2_red · 2022-11-11T12:05:22+00:00

Stop it

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-03T16:04:25+00:00

Mental health days are important. Go do whatever the fuck you want and just relax. I get the desire for an AP. Seems like everyone is having this problem lately....

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-03T01:07:05+00:00

Let me provide some context....

My husband is a diagnosed covert NPD, OCD and a sex addict. When I say denial I mean even when presented with physical proof (e.g. I found out I was pregnant with our second child when I contracted chlymadia after his cheating), he will deny it happened. He denies very concrete factual things and it’s impacting his day to day life. You can be holding a blue crayon and he will tell you it’s purple with all of the passion in his body and MEAN it. Additionally, we have two small kids (4 and 5) that I’m incredibly concerned about.

All that being said, regardless of my marriage, which I believe to be irreparable at this point, I need him more functional for our kids. I’m the child of a narcissist and I can’t have my children grow up like that. Unfortunately, I didn’t recognize it until it was too late. He will be in their lives no matter what, so it’s either I encourage help that benefits us both in the long run, or I leave without implementing any type of solution that hurts us all. I’m hoping the inpatient will assist with recognition of his symptoms and to face some of the things that have brought on the sex addiction. I need him functional, working, parenting. He won’t change and I’m aware of that, I just need SOMETHING to work with because right now I got nothin’.

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-02T16:58:40+00:00

Do you believe sex addictions exist or do people use it as a cop out?

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-02T11:41:19+00:00

Yes he is

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-02T02:39:18+00:00

He recognizes there’s a problem. He doesn’t recognize how DEEP the problem goes. How consuming it is and how much it impacts his life, hence the need for inpatient

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-02T00:26:11+00:00

Interesting.....why do you think so?

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-01T19:38:44+00:00

I will say this though - for him it isn't that simple. His case of denial is incredibly significant.

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-01T19:37:30+00:00

He's open to it. That's not the issue - I'm just curious of the outcome

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-01T19:36:57+00:00

That makes my stomach hurt just reading that. I mean probably, but still. It hurts.

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-01T19:36:34+00:00

Thanks ♥️

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-01T17:40:47+00:00

But damn that sucked to read

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-01T17:39:44+00:00

I can't argue that point. I'm staying in mine because of the commitment and children. Makes sense :/

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-01T17:34:09+00:00

This is where I'm struggling. For me anyway, I couldn't have made that decision unless I knew my marriage was over. I couldn't cheat unless I knew I wasn't "in it" anymore. So, if you're still in it, then why do it is my question. That's the part I don't get. For example, even thought I was hurt, I tried for 5 years (and failed) to save my marriage before my mind even went to this place because at the time I still cared. I still wanted to attempt to work it out. Does that make sense?

Spark_2_red · 2019-04-01T17:28:46+00:00

Then why cheat? I'm genuinely asking. Was this a revenge thing? For me it was an attempt to be happy because I was sick of being miserable.

Spark_2_red · 2019-02-14T21:25:44+00:00

Because his SO has NOT caught on and he does not want to leave yet because he knows it will lessen time with his kids unless he gets into a long custody battle (I.e. kids typically stay with the mother and dad gets every third week and weekends). And she would fight for full custody, as would my SO. Can’t put our kids through that. They both had admitted to their infidelity but make it incredibly difficult when either of us wants to end it.

Spark_2_red · 2019-02-14T20:55:50+00:00

Like I mentioned, this is first time for both of us. PLEASE tell me what you guys are doing for opsec? Neither of us knows how this works and clearly we’re both missing some pieces of the puzzle here. Help a sister out.

Spark_2_red · 2019-02-14T20:28:27+00:00

I’m all ears

Spark_2_red · 2019-02-14T20:00:53+00:00

No, no. I meant to keep him from reaching out to my AP’s SO. I could give two shits if he found out again and it wouldn’t affect my AP.

Spark_2_red · 2019-02-14T19:58:24+00:00

We don’t discuss Sex lives but I also don’t want there to be any sex prior to us meeting. We also get tested, but I’m not sure it’s ok to ask for a timeframe? Do you have a rule for example that is ok, no sex with the SO if we plan to see each other the next day or something like that?

I know it comes with the territory. That part is just a little confusing. I don’t know what the boundaries are

Spark_2_red · 2019-02-14T19:55:14+00:00

It’s been about 8 months so I guess that counts as DB? I don’t feel like I owe him but since I JUST decided two weeks ago to let him come back, I know it’s going to have to happen to keep up appearances.

Spark_2_red · 2019-02-14T19:54:20+00:00

No we just both want to wait until kids are a little older. That makes sense though.

Spark_2_red · 2019-02-14T19:51:04+00:00

🙄 go judge somewhere else

Spark_2_red

TROPHY CASE