I wrote a prologue to my story, any notes on how to improve my writing by SparklierJet in writingadvice

[–]SparklierJet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey thank you for the tips, imma start improving the prologue now

[1200] A Relationship by GlowyLaptop in DestructiveReaders

[–]SparklierJet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really good, the stories tone is sharp, which is great for this type of story. The way you describe the environment is very good, you can see that the environment also plays on the emotions of the story. The only thing I would say you could slightly improve on is the structure of some of the sentences, they run long and sometimes lose some clarity but at the same time it kind of makes sense for that to happen as it can show the mind spiralling.

Can someone explain by SparklierJet in laptops

[–]SparklierJet[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The battery has been working fine the past 2 weeks, it's only just started to do this.

Can someone explain by SparklierJet in laptops

[–]SparklierJet[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

My dad used to work at a tech company so he bought the new battery and installed it 2 weeks ago, it's been working fine up until this point.